Working (On) Motherhood
with Leah
I'm Leah, and in a lucky twist of fate, I've landed my three dream jobs:
book editor, writer, and mother. Since having my son in December 2008, my
work-life has been in constant flux - full-time? part-time? freelance?
working at home or in the office? It depends on the day and which way the
wind is blowing - and figuring out how to keep it all going is a constant
challenge. Heck, I'm still getting used to the idea of being someone's
mom.
Check out my profile on Work It, Mom! and my personal blog, A Girl and a Boy.
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What follows is the last and final installment of “The Hidden Costs of Having a Baby.” (Here are Parts 1 and 2.) After this, you’ll be glad to know, we can move on to more pleasant and exciting things like, oh, actually having the baby! (At my doctor appointment last Wednesday, I was told the baby had dropped into position and was, at 35 weeks, already RIGHT THERE and showing little chance in making it to his due date! So…wow! Yikes! Let’s get this taken care of and move on to the fun stuff, eh?)
Without further ado, the last and most heinous Hidden Cost of Having a Baby is, dun dun DUUUUUN…
3. Health insurance. My company’s annual open enrollment period just came around, and since I’ve been up to my earlobes in charts about co-pays and deductibles and who covers how much of what, perhaps I’m a little more worked up about this than I should be, but OMG, AMERICA. FIX YOUR HEALTHCARE SYSTEM ALREADY. The good news is that most healthcare plans allow thirty days after the birth of your baby to secure him his own coverage, and before that he’s taken care of under a parent’s plan. The bad news is that that’s where the good news ends.
For most people, your healthcare costs will start adding up way before the baby makes his appearance: you might end up paying complete or partial amounts for prenatal checkups, routine bloodwork, genetic testing, ultrasounds, surprise trips to the emergency room, medications or dietary supplements, physical therapy, and any number of things you could never even predict. With that in mind, the best time to review your insurance coverage is before there’s a bun in that all-of-a-sudden-surprisingly-expensive-to-maintain oven. When we first started trying for a baby, I switched to an insurance plan that upped my coverage but, of course, also upped the price per month. I wasn’t even gestating a blastocyst at the point and yet, just like that, I was paying four times as much per month for my health insurance.
I hate insurance—I hate the paperwork, I hate the theory, I hate the way this country handles the entire process—but now that I’m (VERY) pregnant and staring down the (VERY CLOSE) barrel of a hospital delivery, I’ve never been so happy to have it. Just the other day, despairing over the few thousand dollars I’m likely to incur for hospital copays, I looked up the average cost of an uncomplicated vaginal birth at several local L&D wards. And what would I be paying without insurance? $20,000. $30,000. $40,000. After I read that, why, I picked up my loathsome packet of health insurance paperwork and kissed it right on the mouth. They say that having a baby changes everything, but I never expected this!
In summary: Do not have a baby without health insurance. DO NOT HAVE A BABY WITHOUT HEALTH INSURANCE.
So, those are my top three Hidden Costs of Having a Baby: maternity-leave paycuts, child care, and health insurance. If you’re a working mom, you simply must have all three in some capacity. Can’t afford to have them, can’t afford to not have them; that’s the way the cookie crumbles, I’m afraid.
Now, one last thing before I stop freaking about money and start freaking (albeit happily) about having a baby in the very near future: Is there anything I missed that you would call a Hidden Cost of Having a Baby? I’d hate to cut the freaking short at the last minute (NOT).
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It will cost us with fantastic insurance almost $4K for our baby born Oct. 16th. I had an unexpected c-section and we all had to stay in the hospital longer for my blood transfusion. I can’t even fathom what it would have cost without the insurance. But the bill will come…
Meredith | November 13th, 2008 at 10:00 am
My husband has WONDERFUL insurance. We pay $2000 out-of-pocket, that’s it. Then everything is covered at 100%. When my son was born (nearly 5 years ago), we had our costs nearly covered before he was even born with a payment plan set up through our OB. What a load off considering the costs of diapers.
Carla | November 13th, 2008 at 11:30 am
I wouldn’t call any of the costs you’ve written about Hidden. Maybe things people don’t always think about up front, but not hidden.
The hidden costs, for me have been things like eating more takeout, not having time to bargain shop like I used to and missing days of work to take care of sick kids (or just ones whose daycare is closed for Veteran’s Day — Veteran’s Day!?!).
Most of what I would call hidden costs fall into the category of paying more because I don’t have as much time. For example, I used to shop around for good bulk prices on food, then spend a few hours on Sunday splitting things into appropriate sizes for serving or cooking and freezing them. Now I just hope Costco has the best price, because no way am I making ANOTHER stop on my way home from work with two cranky kids in the back seat just to save a measly three bucks. When our house was on the market, rather than sacrifice our only reliable family time (weekends) to mowing the yard, we paid somebody else to do it.
I’ve found my standards have changed, too. I used to happily drive a 15-year-old Jeep. I’ve got a cell phone, I know how to change a tire and I’m fit enough to walk to the nearest gas station if I forget to fill my tank. But when I had a baby, suddenly the thought of being stranded on the side of the road with a blown head gasket became pretty much unacceptable. Now I drive a 2002 Nissan Sentra, for which I not only paid twelve thousand dollars, but I pay more in insurance and maintenance. And don’t even get me started on the neighborhood and house-size changes we’ve made to accommodate our wants for our kids.
And those are just the monetary costs! We won’t even mention the other types of costs: emotional, intellectual, social, mental, physical …. Wait, when is your baby due? Nevermind! Nothing to see here, move right along! Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain!
Jan | November 13th, 2008 at 3:11 pm
Yes! Jan! These are exactly the kinds of things it helps to know about (so long as I don’t let them freak me out entirely–not that it would matter at this point anyway…). Your mention of getting a cell phone reminded me that we need to get a landline at our house (for the first time in four years) because our cell reception there is just patchy enough to make me nervous about relying on it for whatever baby-related emergencies arise (which will hopefully be no more serious than needing pizza delivery!). Getting a landline is obviously less of a burden than getting a new car, but all those little things definitely add up.
Leah K | November 14th, 2008 at 2:31 pm
I’m with Jan on the car issue. I drove a 12-year-old Saturn, great gas mileage et cetera. Now I’m in a 2002 Toyota Camry. Ditto on the location. This big-city girl is struggling to adapt to living in a suburban condo. A good school is essential.
The biggest loss for me was a couple of close friends. They were strong, independent women and we used to get together to do all sorts of fun things. They never had children and we drifted apart. I don’t blame anyone, it’s just that our lives are now completely different.
Laura | November 14th, 2008 at 4:12 pm
Well, we must have INCREDIBLE health insurance because I didn’t pay one single cent in health costs to have my baby. Not for tests, not for doctor visits, not for hospital. Nothing.
And, thanks to California’s Paid Family Leave law, I got 12 weeks paid maternity leave and my husband got 6 weeks paid paternity leave.
I am so dang blessed.
Robyn | November 18th, 2008 at 3:21 pm