Working (On) Motherhood
with Leah
Hi. I'm Leah and I'm expecting my first baby in
December. I've often called my career as a book editor my "dream job," but
the closer I get to my son's arrival, the more I'm open to revising that
definition, especially once I'm in the thick of trying to balance
full-time, first-time motherhood with a part-time office job.
Check out my profile on Work It, Mom! and my personal blog, A Girl and a Boy.
We’re about to embark on a grand parenting adventure my own folks didn’t dare attempt until I was twelve: flying with a child in tow. There must have been some deep-seated fear behind their having kept the family earthbound for a dozen years, but I don’t know what it was, and the fact that I’m not the least bit panicked about flying with my own kid in a few days makes me think I’m missing something. Tell me the truth: Is this going to suck?
Last month Linda wrote about flying with a preschooler, and although the comments section is bursting with suggestions and support for long-distance air travel with an older child, a lot of the advice doesn’t apply to flying with a baby. Preschoolers and even toddlers need to be entertained and fed and strapped down and talked through new experiences like security procedures and the loud whoosh of the plane’s toilet, but in my case the high-maintenance passenger is less likely to be the child than it is the parent—namely, me.
At almost five months old, my son doesn’t need a million toys to keep him entertained, special snacks to reward good behavior, or pep talks about turbulence, but he does need a competent parent (or two) who can get him from Point A to Point B with the least amount of fuss. As I said, I’m surprisingly calm about the trip, which makes me think I’m low on information because surely there are hundreds of things that could go wrong if we’re not prepared to within an inch of our lives, right?
So far my plan is to pack a giant carry-on with extras of everything the baby might need during the flight: diapers, wipes, burp cloths, and clothes. I’ll bring a blanket, a favorite toy, and something soothing he can suck on, but I think anything beyond that would be overkill for a two-hour flight. We’re going to nurse during take-off and landing to prevent painful ear pressure, and I’m going to have a handful of free drink coupons to pass around in the event that the trip becomes a two-hour screamfest. Still, I’m less worried about my son than I am about me and what I don’t know. Are there special baby-on-a-plane rules no one’s told me about? Is there etiquette to selecting a seat so as to annoy as few fellow passengers as possible? Will I have to taste my own bottled breastmilk to get it past security? (Will my gigantic nursing boobs even make it through security while so flagrantly ignoring the 3 oz. rule?) Can I carry the kid through the metal detector myself or do I have to send him on the conveyor belt through the x-ray machine?
(Okay, I’m kidding about that last one, but not about this: When I carry him through security will I have to remove his shoes lest they contain the world’s teensy-tinsiest explosive device?)
Comments are open and accepting all wisdom related to flying with a baby. Any tips for streamlining the security and boarding processes? What else should I pack in my carry-on besides the basics? Tell me what’s gone right (or wrong) for you so the rest of us can applaud your brilliance (or laugh in sympathy at your mistakes).
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I flew with my son at 1 month, 2 months, 6 months, 9 months, 10 months (internationally) and 11 months. I know every trick for flying with a baby!
The younger the kid, the easier it is. Little babies just nurse and sleep and cause no trouble at all. It’s the bigger kids that need entertaining that are harder.
You’re right on about needing some basics - boobs/bottle, blankie, and maybe one toy. Honestly, the flight safety card is still the most interesting thing my son has ever seen.
Security is highly variable from airport to airport. Most will make you remove his shoes, but some may not, if he’s small enough. I generally had to carry him through the Xray machine with me, but kind of away from my body (ie not in a sling or close hold). NO ONE can make you sip, dump, or otherwise ruin breastmilk. There are very specific rules about it now. If you take some solid foods, they may test them, but not breast milk.
I nursed on the plane for most of those trips and no one ever cared. I suspect most of them didn’t know it was happening. I brought a blanket to cover up, since airplanes are small enough that you’re kind of close to a stranger, but no one ever cared at all. The pressure changes didn’t bother my son at all, but nursing on landing and takeoff is ideal.
The thing to remember is that you’re so afraid of him freaking out and making a huge scene and everyone hating you, but the vast majority of your fellow travelers are also parents and they’re just glad it’s your kid crying and not theirs. I’m sure it’ll be smooth, and if not, there’s only so much you can control.
Be sure you carry on twice the number of diapers you think you’ll need, along with an extra shirt for yourself. Try to do a diaper change in the airport as late as you can, as the airplane bathrooms are so small and awkward, it’s not worth it unless you HAVE to do it.
Have a great trip!
Elizabeth | May 6th, 2009 at 7:35 am
Elizabeth is right on … exactly what I did when I traveled with my son at 4,6, 8 and 12 months.
KC | May 6th, 2009 at 5:08 pm
Elizabeth has got it all down, man - even the part about the extra shirt for you (and one for Simon, too). We SO overpacked for our 6-month-old it wasn’t even funny…he did not need that many toys!
The only thing I’ll add is to suggest getting some gate-check bags for your carseat-stroller setup, and not just for the actual gate-checking. Our airport in NYC made us take the carseat off the stroller base, turn it upside down, and put it on the conveyor belt, along with the folded stroller base, while I carried our son through. The carseat came out FILTHY all along the edge, and I wished I had put the gate-check bag underneath it…oh well.
Practice folding up your stroller if you haven’t done it a lot, so you’re not struggling with it at the airport.
Aaand…you can ask at the gate if there are any extra seats, and see if they’ll give one to you for free so you can spread out. Not necessary, but nice.
Here’s a link to the gate-check bags I bought: http://tinyurl.com/d8f66f
Have fun!
Jackie | May 6th, 2009 at 6:06 pm
Readers are leaving some good tips and resources over at my other site too: http://www.agirlandaboy.com/journal/archives/002151.html
Leah K | May 6th, 2009 at 9:16 pm
My 21 month old has flown 25 times the first at 2 weeks old. The younger the baby, the easier the flight! Seriously, he will probably sleep a lot and otherwise want boob. Be wiling to go Girls Gone Wild at any point, but I am sure you will be fine! My biggest advice is for you to remain calm, never change a dirty diaper on board unless your life is at stake, and don’t carry much on board. Forget the stroller and carry the baby in a sling (but take off his shoes, security risk!). But you are right, you won’t need much on board the flight, so light with the carry ons, nothing worse than lugging tons of crap. And of course, have a drink before boarding, relaxed mamas are the best
emily | May 6th, 2009 at 9:52 pm
You will be fine! We flew from the UK to South Africa with our littlest when she was 4 months, then onto Australia when she was 6 months and then we flew from Australia to the UK with her at 18 months and I can honestly say that flying with her at 4 and 6 months was a breeze in comparison to flying with a toddler! I just nursed her taking off and landing and any time she grizzled, I had a few bottles of breast milk in case of emergency (no they didn’t make me taste them!) and she slept most of the way in the bassinet cot provided, or on me.
Super Sarah | May 7th, 2009 at 3:49 am
I really can’t add more than what Elizabeth said. Be relaxed because your kids also sense that too….
z | May 7th, 2009 at 11:13 am
I highly recommend a bottle of purell– you don’t need to go all OCD about it but it’s nice for the parent hands to try to avoid the cold that someone will probably get. I traveled with a immune compromised 3 month old and it was ok with frequent hand washing.
Kate C | May 10th, 2009 at 8:48 am
Unfortunately, the comment about breastmilk being exempt is not entirely true, at least it was not true for me last week. I have flown twice with my 11-month-old son and taken a small, sealed can of formula and an empty bottle with the rest of my carry-on items both times. (Note: I do not nurse or carry breastmilk, because my boobs don’t work.) Both times, no problem. I just showed the can and empty bottle to security as I passed through, and was told both times that breastmilk and formula are exempt from the 3-oz. rule. However, last week, while attempting to go through security with a sealed can of formula and an empty bottle, I was pulled aside and informed that I had two options: have the formula opened and tested (thereby spoiling it) or have every item with me (including my son’s belongings) screened while I was searched. I chose to be searched, while holding my son. According to security, they can’t make you or your child taste the milk/formula or force you to dump it, but they have every right to test it.
Stephanie | May 11th, 2009 at 7:52 pm