I'm Leah, and in a lucky twist of fate, I've landed my three dream jobs:
book editor, writer, and mother. Since having my son in December 2008, my
work-life has been in constant flux - full-time? part-time? freelance?
working at home or in the office? It depends on the day and which way the
wind is blowing - and figuring out how to keep it all going is a constant
challenge. Heck, I'm still getting used to the idea of being someone's
Check out my profile on Work It, Mom! and my personal blog, A Girl and a Boy.
A while ago we asked a friend of ours why he hadn’t had a second child since his first was born six years ago, and his response was that he and his wife had decided they wanted to spend their free time doing activities that weren’t exclusively kid-centric. She’s in a choir, he’s in several bands, and they figured they wouldn’t be able to do those things with more than one kid in the mix. In his experience, their single-child friends are able to maintain active and varied ”grown-up” social lives, but once a second kid enters the picture it seems they’re unable to do anything non-kid-related. Everything is daycare and playgroups and field trips, oh my!
There’s obviously nothing wrong with priorities and lifestyles shifting in this way when a second child comes along (in fact, most parents I know say it’s not that they have to stay home with the spawn rather than go out dancing/drinking/alligator wrestling but that they prefer to), and so I wonder if others have found this to be true as well. I don’t have any close friends with more than one kid right now, so I’m especially curious to hear from those of you in that position.
I’ve heard that having two kids is more than twice as hard as having one, but I’d never heard anyone explain why in quite this way before. So, do you think it’s true that having more than one kid means you no longer have the time (and/or desire?) to pursue your own grown-up interests? Perhaps an even more interesting (and inspiring) question is: If you are able to enjoy extracurricular activities outside the realm of parenting, what are they? (And does “mommyblogging” count?) Anyone playing in a soccer league or taking ballet lessons? Any weekend alligator wrestlers out there?
*Right after my son was born, I was shocked at the number of people–and strangers at that–whose follow-up question to “How old is your baby?” was “Are you going to have another?” I quickly learned that the most effective response to the second question was to repeat my answer to the first one: He’s only two weeks old!
Photo by Amanda Brown.
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