Working (On) Motherhood
with Leah
Hi. I'm Leah and I'm expecting my first baby in
December. I've often called my career as a book editor my "dream job," but
the closer I get to my son's arrival, the more I'm open to revising that
definition, especially once I'm in the thick of trying to balance
full-time, first-time motherhood with a part-time office job.
Check out my profile on Work It, Mom! and my personal blog, A Girl and a Boy.
I spent last Saturday in my sweltering home office racing to complete an assignment I told my supervisor I’d have done on Monday, no excuses. Because I only work half-time now, it takes me twice as long to complete my projects, but because I never want to be the weak link in the company chain, I’m always agreeing to impossible deadlines and then kicking myself later as I try to steal an extra hour or two (or eight) from my so-called free time (so-called because that’s what I’m working for: free).
Parents (and mothers especially) often find themselves the subject of extra criticism in the workplace–we don’t take our jobs seriously anymore, we receive special treatment, we suffer from mommybrain–and perhaps it’s those judgements at the heart of my situation: I’m working longer, harder, better now because I’m forever trying to prove that I’m not the weakest link, that motherhood hasn’t compromised my work ethic.
Before I had my son, I never thought twice about taking a day off here or there for a long weekend, leaving early on a Friday afternoon to catch a concert in the city, just playing it loosey-goosey like everyone else in the office. I used to be more relaxed about using my work time to answer personal emails, read a few blogs on the sly, maybe peruse the news or trash-talk trashy talk t.v. around the watercooler. Boy, have times changed.
These days, as soon as I arrive in the office it’s straight to business, no time for chitchat. I work during lunch and I work while pumping. If I have to stay late or pick up slack on weekends, I suck it up and do it, even though the price is higher now than it ever was now that time working means time not spent with my baby.
While I’ve copped to loving my days in the office, that doesn’t mean I want to sit at my desk from sun-up to sun-down, and yet sometimes I feel the push to pull an all-nighter because I don’t want anyone to think parenthood has made me a liability. Is this something you think about or struggle with? Do you work harder/longer/better now that you have kids? Do you do it because you feel you have something to prove?
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I try to improve my focus for work during work hours and kids during off-work hours. It’s a process. It’s not about what others may or may not think of my contribution, but I personally don’t feel good if I haven’t put in a good day’s work - and that takes away from my focus on my kids during their time.
I switched jobs when I became a mom, so I don’t have anything to “prove” about maintaining my work ethic. I signed on to work part-time but have ended up working full-time and then some, so if anyone complains about my dedication, they will get an ear-full.
SKL | July 1st, 2009 at 8:07 am
I definitely feel like I work harder. I work the same amount of hurs that I used to but have to work twice as hard because I get treated as if I do half the work - its actually the opposite. I do need some days off that school is closed, but I definitely work harder to make up for it. The more I work, the more money I make so this is a motivation.
Oceans Mom | July 2nd, 2009 at 11:40 am
I would say yes!! Being a single mother and working full time is tough. But my child is worth. I am definitely busier then before I had my child.
Susie | July 2nd, 2009 at 6:25 pm
I think it depends on what you mean by working harder. I think I’m working more compressed. I want to be out at 5pm so less time for chit chat, extended lunches & coffee breaks.
But I rarely stay up until 2am working, I’m into work at 8:30 instead of 9:30.
I think what took a hit was everything else (no time for the aerobics class at the gym, fewer happy hours with colleagues, not being able to push through a huge project and take comp days instead).
Mich | July 6th, 2009 at 9:18 am
OH YES. I just started back full-time after 6 weeks of solid leave and 6 weeks of coming in one day a week. It’s tough, because trying to breastfeed the baby before I leave in the morning sometimes makes me late, and while 90% of the office operates on flex time, the assistants (like me) do not. I also feel extremely guilty for having put my work on childless coworkers while I was on leave. I know I shouldn’t feel that way since I am entitled to my leave, but now that I’m back, I feel pressure to help those people out with their projects even though I’m loaded down trying to catch up with my own stuff.
I just keep trying to tell myself that I’m the only one putting this invisible pressure on myself, but it’s really tough to ward off the guilt of having been gone for so long.
Jive Turkey | July 7th, 2009 at 5:42 am
I completely agree. I work harder now that I am a Mom of 2 then I did when I had no kids. I think it has to do with the fact I am trying to be my best, with less time and less sleep. No only do I work at my full time job but I spend time doing freelance jobs to make a little extra cash, also in the hopes that I can make freelance and home business my prominent source of income.
I think Moms are always trying to be better, be the best we can be for our kids, for ourselves and for everyone else
Christy aka Freckles | July 13th, 2009 at 1:52 pm