Working (On) Motherhood
with Leah
Hi. I'm Leah and I'm expecting my first baby in
December. I've often called my career as a book editor my "dream job," but
the closer I get to my son's arrival, the more I'm open to revising that
definition, especially once I'm in the thick of trying to balance
full-time, first-time motherhood with a part-time office job.
Check out my profile on Work It, Mom! and my personal blog, A Girl and a Boy.
You’ve read all the parenting books, you’ve talked to every mother on your street, you’ve surfed mommyblogs until your eyes crossed..and you still don’t know what the heck you’re doing half the time. We talk about parenting by “instinct,” but it’s time we call it like it is: mostly we’re all just parenting by accident, some of them bad, some of them good.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned about sharing stories with other parents, it’s that the giving and receiving of advice, no matter how un-advicey you spin it, is fraught with danger. No one wants to be told what to do (and how to do it and when to do it) or, worse, that they’re Doing It Wrong, and that’s why I’ve taken to sharing tips instead. You can’t argue with a tip. A tip is just a tip. Here are some of my favorites:
- A handful of ice cube chunks (smallish ones) on a highchair tray will give you enough time to empty the dishwasher, slam down a quick bite, or check your email.
- Baby waking up waaaaaay before you’re ready? Put him in his exersaucer next to the bed and he’ll never notice your eyes are half-closed.
- Got one of those kids who puts everything in his mouth? Teach him to say “aaaaahhhh,” but make it a game so he won’t fight it when you have to go in after some kibble.
And the most genius idea…er, happy accident, of my parenting career:
- The Baby Be Quiet music mix. Several months ago, after my 60GB iPod died, I was gifted a wee iPod Shuffle and only had time to put about a dozen songs on it before I got distracted by something shiny. The songs I’d grabbed were from a playlist I’d made for my son called “Dance Baby”—a selection of tunes that were upbeat and kid-friendly without being “music for kids”—and for weeks on end that’s all we’d listen to when we were at home. Flash forward to Labor Day Weekend, about seven hours into our eleven-hour roadtrip, and guess what works like a charm to calm a cranky baby? Since then, whenever he starts fish-flopping into inconsolability, all it takes is the first few seconds of any of his “Dance Baby” songs and it’s all smiles from there on out. (Just make sure you choose songs you really really love, because for all I know they might be on infinite repeat until the kid graduates high school and he’s listening to music with his Apple iBrain.)
I know you’ve had happy parenting accidents too. Don’t be stingy now; out with them!
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We enjoy corn on the cob in the summer, and we discovered that Rowan LOVES to gnaw on the cob after we’ve finished with it. INSTANT SILENCE so we can finish our dinner and conversation without the soundtrack of insatiable baby squawking. Cheerios one at a time work well in the same capacity. And for some reason he’s also a fan of Wheel of Fortune, which is on when we’re typically eating dinner, so we just turn his high chair toward the TV, and he’s enthralled with the spinning and dinging sounds.
Basically, my tried and true parenting method thus far? WHATEVER WORKS.
Jen | September 23rd, 2009 at 8:03 am
Parenting accidents…. hehe.. My husband despises olives.. so one day at costco he picked off the olives off his pizza and handed them to V… she loved them.. on days when she refuses to eat anything else… Olives work like a charm. Its a game for her, put them on teh finger, and chew the olive down! (A huge sigh of releif from me)
Another one- She is fussy and on borderline of having a tantrum.. get a necklace of beads on you.. she will run towards you, say its pretty and forget everything else! (Its working so far!)
GNSD | September 23rd, 2009 at 12:54 pm
My partner’s hairdresser passed on some words of parenting wisdom on hearing of our impending arrival (and this guy has baby twins and a toddler, so when he talks, you listen!). It works on the same lines as your i-shuffle discovery.
Sing the same song to your baby as often as possible. They’ll come to associate this song with you and with feeling soothed. So when they freak out when they’re on their own in their seat on the back seat of the car and can’t see you, sing this song and they will feel comforted.
Of course, we’re yet to road test this or any other parenting ideas, as our bean is still baking.
bokker | September 24th, 2009 at 1:18 am
Strict “not tv on school nights” rule creates a lovely Saturday AM in which, to grab a few extra shut-eye winks, or even enjoy a wakeup coffee, I can say “yes, you can watch 2 shows”. Happy child and I get an hour for me!
Mich | September 28th, 2009 at 10:49 am