Working (On) Motherhood
with Leah
I'm Leah, and in a lucky twist of fate, I've landed my three dream jobs:
book editor, writer, and mother. Since having my son in December 2008, my
work-life has been in constant flux - full-time? part-time? freelance?
working at home or in the office? It depends on the day and which way the
wind is blowing - and figuring out how to keep it all going is a constant
challenge. Heck, I'm still getting used to the idea of being someone's
mom.
Check out my profile on Work It, Mom! and my personal blog, A Girl and a Boy.
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Okay, I admit it. I cheat at the Working Closet. (You know, the Flickr pool fashion parade version of Work It, Mom’s original “Working Closet” blog?) The basic idea is for members to upload photos of their work outfits, but beyond that, you can make it whatever you want to make it: a record of your wardrobe, a chance to show off your personal style, or, if you’re like me, an incentive to put some effort into what I wear to the office.
And that’s where I’m cheating. I only go to the office proper one day each week, and my Working Closet contributions only ever reflect that one day–the day I actually put on accessories, style my hair, and consider whether my shoes go with my belt go with my purse go with this decade. But the days I’m working from home? It’s all sweatpants and sweatshirts and sweaty armpits because I can’t be bothered to shower unless I’m actually going to go somewhere. It’s not a pretty picture, and certainly not the type of thing I’d submit to a public Flickr pool.
I’ve heard it said many times that mothers have much to gain from getting dressed each morning, whether that means shower/hairstyle/accessories or just changing out of pajama bottoms into some “nice” (or at least clean) yoga pants. One theory has it that changing clothes can help us change our mindframes; getting dressed can signal that it’s time to get down to business, whether that means wrangling kids or back-to-back conference calls–kind of like Mr. Rogers trading his shiny shoes for his canvas ones and his suit coat for a cardigan, only in the opposite direction.
I have all sorts of excuses why it’s easier to not worry about my appearance when I’m at home (it saves time, it means less laundry, it means less chance my son will use my pantleg as a napkin or drive his matchbox car across my favorite leather boots), but I’m starting to think I need to step it up a little lest the scales of Chic v. Slob tip irrevocably in the latter, sadder direction.
What do you wear when you’re working from home? Do you make a special effort to get dressed for the day, or do you just roll out of bed, grope blindly for the nearest pair of pants, and shuffle your way into the home office in your bunny slippers? Do you have a WAHM mom uniform, and is it stylish or sloppy or somewhere in between?
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I can’t believe I actually had the foresight to do this, but back when I was still on maternity leave, I went online and bought an ass-ton of cheap, comfortable, and cute around-the-house wear from Old Navy. I’m talking $5 hoodies and the like. This way I can wear something that makes me feel remotely put-together, but I’m also prepared to assume my role as the Human Kleenex. Special Bonus: I have realized that most of my clothes are pretty cheap/old anyway, so it’s no big if I wear what would normally be a “going-out” shirt around the house and it ends up covered in baby snot (or sweet potatoes) (but mostly baby snot).
jive turkey | January 13th, 2010 at 9:33 am
I do actually change into jeans/cords washable attire.. but you make a really good point about the laundry issue. It is neverending.
andrea | January 13th, 2010 at 9:38 am
I’m not yet a mom, but as a recently unemployed person I am finding it very important to get up and get dressed to maintain some sense of purpose and normalcy. Even if getting dressed just means out of the pajama pants and into the comfy yoga/gym pants.
Of course I don’t have to worry about little people wiping their noses/mouths on my pants!
diane | January 13th, 2010 at 10:15 am
ON maternity leave, I wore mostly pj pants and solid shirts. Now that I take my kids out to childcare for a portion of the day I do manage to put on jeans or black pants along with cheap solid shirts. I keep thinking I’ll put on a skirt or something some days, but usually don’t get that far. Days like today, baby managed to vomit all over first set of clothes before I took her to the babysitter, which is when the “real” clothes get frustrating. I do work “in person” a few weeks a year and it is a big transition from very casual to a suit!
soonermama | January 13th, 2010 at 11:05 am
Being a WAHM has meant the usual rules apply in unusual ways. I don’t change in the morning, most days. I shower and change just before I go pick up my kids from daycare. I change into an old, clean t-shirt and old (usually re-used) jeans. Then I come home and change back into my pj bottoms as soon as pratical. Next morning, I change back into those jeans just before driving the kids to daycare, then come home and change back into my pjs for the work day. That’s what works for me.
I don’t work better when dressed better. If I am wearing anything even slightly binding, it really, really bugs me, distracts me, makes me tired, etc. And it’s very hard for me to find hosiery and shoes that are not binding (forget wearing a bra). I’m not fat, but maybe I have the world’s thickest calves, and fattest feet, I don’t know.
SKL | January 13th, 2010 at 11:20 am
Typically, as a SAHM, I only get dressed when I need to run errands out of the house or am recruited to babysit one of my nephews. This year I have made dressing one of my resolutions and most days, I do well with it, putting at least something resembling an outfit together. Some days, however, the lure of my flannel skull and crossbones pj pants is just too strong.
Raven | January 14th, 2010 at 4:12 am
Getting up and taking a shower does miracles. If I’m clean, I feel ready for the day. When I don’t shower early on, I feel lazier and sloppier and never really seem to get anything done.
Oceans Mom | January 14th, 2010 at 7:23 am
I put on yesterday’s jeans and shirt to get the kids through breakfast and to the bus stop on time. come home and eat breakfast myself and work and workout through mid afternoon. grab my shower and put on clean jeans and shirt/sweater in time for bus pick up and the mom-taxi service of after school activities. once every 2 weeks or so I have client meetings or some such thing that throws it all out of whack and I have to shower earlier . . . but otherwise I have a system that works for me and keeps me comfie while I work, and doesn’t involve getting up any earlier than I already do just to squeeze in a shower to impress the bus stop folks.
gretchen | January 14th, 2010 at 5:11 pm
I just said this on your site, but I only post there when I’m going out. Though, honestly, I always pull myself together but switch my jeans for yoga pants when I’m at home.
I feel more awake/alive when I take the time to look decent. I’ve done it even when I had newborn babies.
Angella | January 14th, 2010 at 7:17 pm
For me, it was actually EASIER to look decent when I had a newborn. For the first few weeks I had family taking care of me/the house, and then after that, while I was still on maternity, I had plenty of time to pull myself together. Also, when the kid was still small enough to nap in a bouncy seat outside the shower door, I had a freedom I don’t have now that I either have to wake up before him to shower or else wait until he takes a nap (which sometimes never happens). Those first few months, I honestly couldn’t figure out why moms complained about not having time to shower/look nice, but now…NOW I get it!
Leah K | January 14th, 2010 at 8:03 pm
I like being comfortable but miss the excuse to buy nice business clothes, because like you said, it made me feel more put together. I don’t dress up much for working at the home office, but I do at least shower, get dressed in clothes I could go out in and put on makeup. Maybe I’ll step it up a bit and see if that’s the magic ingredient to greater productivity!
Kim Wierman | January 16th, 2010 at 1:12 pm