Working (On) Motherhood
with Leah
I'm Leah, and in a lucky twist of fate, I've landed my three dream jobs:
book editor, writer, and mother. Since having my son in December 2008, my
work-life has been in constant flux - full-time? part-time? freelance?
working at home or in the office? It depends on the day and which way the
wind is blowing - and figuring out how to keep it all going is a constant
challenge. Heck, I'm still getting used to the idea of being someone's
mom.
Check out my profile on Work It, Mom! and my personal blog, A Girl and a Boy.
A few weeks ago I overheard a woman telling a friend about a fight she’d had with her fiance. Apparently, this woman had done something so egregious and offensive that it had blown up into a three-hour ordeal about Respect and Commitment and Priorities and whydon’tyoulovemeanymore?.
So what was the fight about (at least ostensibly)? Twitter. TWITTER. The guy was mad that his fiancee hadn’t read every single one of his tweets.
With so many people using social networking sites now (Twitter has untold millions of users, and everyone but me is on Facebook), it’s no surprise that online life intertwines with real life and not always in the best ways. Sure, it started out innocently enough, back in the golden oldentimes when we didn’t yet understand how easy it was for someone to misinterpret the tone of an email, but now it seems like everyone and their granny is wrapped up in the politics of (un)Following and (un)Friending and @ing and RTing and #ffing. Worst of all, a lot of the drama plays out in front of a live virtual audience.
I’m not immune to letting the internet get in the way of my flesh-and-blood relationships. I’ve been called out for passive-aggressively both chastising and apologizing to my spouse via blog entry, and, more than I’d like to admit, I’ve let too many weeks pass between catching up with a friend because I feel I can short-cut the connection by just reading her blog instead. Social networks and the blogosphere have definitely made it easier to stay connected (how else would you know what your archenemy from fourth grade had for lunch today?), but I think it’s safe to say that easier doesn’t necessarily mean better in this case, especially when it comes to our closest family and friends.
Do you communicate with your spouse via social media networks like Twitter or Facebook? Do you get offended if your spouse doesn’t check your sites? Does the internet play a major role in your most important relationships? Do you think social networking adds to or detracts from your real-life connections?
Subscribe to blog via RSS
I think that people need to find a balance, and I know that I used to spend too much time on the Internet. I feel like I’ve finally got the ratio figured out.
As for my site - Matthew only reads it I tell him to. I used to be offended but not anymore - it’s just not his thing. He fully supports me in it (He didn’t at first) but we’ve come to a happy balance. For us.
Angella | January 27th, 2010 at 7:37 am
Yes and no - I found Twitter to be VERY useful when we had an earthquake a year or so ago - the phone lines were jammed so I was able to tell the Mister that I was okay. (Although he was more concerned about the dog.)
Since Will (le husband, I know you know that but others may not) and I err on the social side of social media (we both blog/Twitter/FB/etc.), we try to gauge our expectations. Blog posts are expected to be read, Twitter/Facebook/etc. is not.
Twitter is nice because we have an attachment to each other during the day - we can check in if we want to - but insisting that your partner follow EVERY SINGLE KEYSTROKE that comes out of your computer? Turns it into more of a ball and chain, n’est-ce pas?
Nina the slackmistress | January 27th, 2010 at 10:41 am
Leah, Congratulations on the upcoming addition to your family.
You pose some interesting questions that I would like to address from my perspective personally and a little business focus as well.
Do you communicate with your spouse via social media networks like Twitter or Facebook? No I do not. Although I make my livelihood working in the social media space, consulting with businesses of all types and giving presentations on social media, it is the one area that my husband and I do not align. He is very private - as much as one can be when they were in the Olympics and on National TV in the WWF (yes I mean the TV wrestling as well). We have no TV reception and up until 6 months ago only dialup at home. He is a teacher and does not want to spend his time typing, or working on the computer. I call him every night when I drive home during my commute since he goes to bed early.
Do you get offended if your spouse doesn’t check your sites? Nope not one bit. I would rather hug him anyway in real life.
Does the internet play a major role in your most important relationships? My family is spread across the USA and Internationally to France. I do use skype, flickr, picassa and facebook to keep connected in time between visits. I do try to engage with various media including email and lately some video posts of family things on Youtube.
Do you think social networking adds to or detracts from your real-life connections? Social networking has enabled me to stay in touch in creative ways with my family members who,due to distance, time or money, are apart. It will never replace face to face connections but the ability to share pieces of my both my personal and business life with them enlarges the way they know me as well.
Case in point, my older sister created a video for her work at Brown University that was posted online video sharing site and news site and I could get a up close and personal glimpse into what she does for a living. Social Media helped me see that.
I also try to blend all my social networking sites with business and personal notes and updates. I am neither purely business not purely social and I do not want people to see me as one or the other but a unique blend. To that point my posts always consider both audiences that might connect with me. I have yet to totally upset family or clients yet.
wendy soucie | January 27th, 2010 at 11:09 am
This is funny. DH doesn’t use Twitter, but I do only for my blog updates, so even I don’t read it a whole lot.
We read each other’s FB only because we’re “friends” and we do read our home page posts.
He doesn’t blog, but I do. He reads when he remembers, but if he doesn’t read, it’s no big deal.
I do believe that social networking has taken something away from real-life friendships - hearing someone’s voice on the phone, seeing them more often in person, tangible pieces of communication.
Phe | January 29th, 2010 at 4:23 am
Here’s my take-away from this post:
You’re not on Facebook?!?!?!
Nicole | February 3rd, 2010 at 11:31 am