Amelie is in a center setting and we do chat with her teachers at drop-off and pick-up. I’m very fond of her primary teacher as well, and she and I will converse for hours if given the opportunity - but we don’t hang out, nor will I invite her too.

I view it in a similar vein as my relationship with my physician. She and I get along wonderfully. I love talking to her and she makes time for it. She’s also a reader of my blog and takes an active interest in what we do, as I take one in her extra-curricular activities.

But because our relationship professionally could be significantly impacted if we became close personally, neither of us have taken it to another level. It’s always hanging, unspoken, but it’s definitely there. We are doctor/patient, not friends.

Amelie’s teachers are her teachers, not our friends.

I taught preschool for several years at a development center, and I have to say that I would have (and did, on several occasions) politely turned down any personal invitations. I would be worried that changing my professional relationship with a parent would make it more difficult to discuss possible issues with them. Furthermore, I value my boundaries and prefer not to let my personal and professional life mix very much.

On the other hand, I didn’t have children of my own at the time. Although I loved each one of my students dearly, my idea of a relaxing weekend didn’t involve spending quality time with the children in my class or their parents. Things may be different now, but I’ve changed careers.

I am good friends with one of my child’s daycare providers. We became friends when my son was an infant. I spent countless hours with her while I breastfed my son over lunch breaks until he was 6 months. We really became friends though, when we started chatting on Facebook. and text messages This allowed us to have a friendship and talk outside of work, when you don’t have that much time to chit-chat on drop-off and pick-up. We have a lot in common. She is one of my BFFs (lol) now but is no longer my sons daycare teacher. He has moved on to an older kids room. To be frank though, she has helped me navigate my son to the best teachers in the Center and warns me about the not so good ones. So alas I love her to pieces. We go to each others birthday celebrations and not just my son’s. Plus, we probably text each other everyday. I have the luxury of visiting my son at daycare during the day so I get more time to talk to the daycare teachers and really get to know them.

In reviewing your question and reading some of the responses….as an outsider looking in….I think most of us also have the tendency to stereotype our childcare providers and teachers…we all have this idea in our head about the person who teaches our child in a classroom or who cares for our child in a day care center, and that ideal in our head certainly can’t connect with the fact that this person is also just that…A Person…she or he has a life outside of their work too…they go to Social Functions, they may have a drink or two….they may get down and party….we don’t know…and that thought of being around them and actually seeing that side of their life..is terrifying….when in fact…we ourselves are having just the same type of good time when we have our adult parties or go out dancing or whatever…it’s a matter of getting over the stereotype issue…..or Not….it’s up to you….either way….you also have the option of waiting until your child is no longer being cared for by this person…and then pursuing the friendship…as one member said above…it’s nice to have an inside source to advise you on who’s who in the school or daycare faculty…and who or whom you would like our child to be with….take care

I could totally see, after she’s expressed an interest in music, letting her know about concerts. But I wouldn’t really include her as part of the family unless you really think you have that relationship, and I’d say it takes more than a few months to know if you do.

My daughter’s daycare provider was wonderful and my daughter did at times did feel a part of their family (one her sons remarked “she’s like the little sister I wanted”). But it wasn’t like we were both part of the family if that makes sense.

Now given that she was so good to us in terms of helping out above and beyond - I couldn’t have the job I have today if I hadn’t had her then - I did do extra things for them when I could. I had the ability to get good seats to a pro sports game so I got tickets for their whole family and the boys talked about it for months. It was something they couldn’t have done on their own and being able to provide it showed an extra appreciation.

But now that we’re no longer there, no we don’t pop by for visits, don’t invite to family events (though I do recommend her every time someone asks if I know of a good sitter!)