Working (On) Motherhood
with Leah
I'm Leah, and in a lucky twist of fate, I've landed my three dream jobs:
book editor, writer, and mother. Since having my son in December 2008, my
work-life has been in constant flux - full-time? part-time? freelance?
working at home or in the office? It depends on the day and which way the
wind is blowing - and figuring out how to keep it all going is a constant
challenge. Heck, I'm still getting used to the idea of being someone's
mom.
Check out my profile on Work It, Mom! and my personal blog, A Girl and a Boy.
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You know the saying “I’m working for the weeked?” I think it stops being true the second you have kids. Kids seem to be of the collective mind that oh-hell-no o’clock is the perfect time to wake up EVERY DAY, and none of them have even heard of Loverboy. What this means for me is that most of the time I’m not working for the weekend but working for the end of the workday; forget spending several days apart from my job, I’m excited for those several hours each night, when I might have some peace and quiet and time for myself at last before it all begins again in the morning.
Because I mostly work from home, defining the end of my workday is both harder and more important, and a lot of the time I don’t manage to do it very well. On thing I think might remedy that is having a consistent after-work ritual to help me shift the gears from workbrain to homebrain. I have some ideas, but I’m also taking suggestions.
When you get home, do you take off your work clothes–exchange your shiny shoes for tennies and your blazer for a cozy cardigan a la Mr. Rogers? Do you have a cup of herbal tea or a glass of wine (or, as my spouse does, a martini)? Do you steal a quick five minutes to check your favorite trashy celebrity gossip site(s) or to browse a beautiful style blog? Do you read a favorite storybook with your kids? My neighbor comes home from work every day and immediately retreats to her garden to weed and prune (and it shows because her yard is gorgeous). Surely there’s someone out there who looks forward to her daily apres-work workout, clearing her head with a perfect yoga headstand.
If you work outside the home, it might be that the journey from one place to the next is enough of a trigger to change you focus (especially if you take public transportation and can read a book or close your eyes and lose yourself in your iPod during the commute), but even then, I think having an after-work routine might be beneficial in the same way that bedtime routines help our kids settle down for the night. In that case, just the act of performing the routine is as effective and important as the routine itself, and I suspect the same might be true settling ourselves down after a full day on the job .
Do you have an after-work ritual that helps you realign your focus with your non-work life? Do tell.
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LOL! This is how my workday usually ends. “It’s 6pm, time to take a shower so I can be in time to pick up my kids. Uh-oh, here’s an email I ought to take care of before I go. 6:05, no problem - oh wait, I forgot that one of the addressee’s email changed, let me fix that. Oh wow, it’s 6:10, I have 10 minutes to be showered and in the car driving. Oops, I forgot, I have to pack some food before I leave. OK, it’s 6:22 and I’m out the door, I can make it if all - oh crap, construction crew has ripped up the road, COME ON, GRANNY, DON’T YOU KNOW THE PERSON BEHIND YOU MIGHT HAVE SOMEPLACE TO BE IN 3 MINUTES!? Why do they make these traffic lights so long? (Door slam, running steps, beep beep on the security keypad) hi girls! Today we’re going to the [pool / park / museum / therapist / grocery store / dinner with the aunties]!”
Then at 9pm after the girls are tucked in, it’s back to work until 12, at least.
I love my life!
I work in personal relaxation on selected mornings after dropping the kids off at school. Personal relaxation generally means getting caught up on a few housekeeping things, and checking some blogs.
SKL | September 30th, 2010 at 9:12 am
I change out of my work clothes and into comfy clothes. As simple as this sounds this really works. I feel like I’m stripping away the work day and ready to begin my afternoon at home and feeling comfy helps put me in a better mood and helps me transition.
bsmommy | October 1st, 2010 at 10:43 am
When it’s a teaching day (in my home music studio) I signal the end of the day by turning off the light over the piano. Only a small thing, I know, but it’s a signal to me that I’m finished. But it’s harder to signal the end of the administrative work that goes into maintaining a home business, as that fits in the cracks of the rest of the day.
And of course turning my brain off so I don’t think about all the writing I’m doing isn’t really an option. Hmmm. Maybe I should think about that one a bit more. There must be a switch for that somewhere…
Kate | October 2nd, 2010 at 1:13 am
I don’t have much of one, and I teach elementary. I always wash my hands and usually change my clothes. If we’re going somewhere: jeans. If we’re not: straight to sweats, baby.
I change more for comfort, but I don’t relish the idea of 250 kids’ germs hanging out on my shirt while I hold my 8 month-old.
Meg | October 5th, 2010 at 8:22 am
I do change my clothes as soon as I can, but it’s hard because I pick up my son before getting home. So by the time I pull into the garage the Mom-job is starting, with homework and dinner to oversee. I guess the drive home is my transition time.
I like the idea of the glass of wine, though!
el-e-e | October 5th, 2010 at 8:24 am
My “work”, currently, is staying at home with my 8 month old baby, as I’m on maternity leave. But I still look forward to the end-of-work ritual. Come 7pm she’s in bed and I actually enjoy tidying the toys away and clearing the decks. Reclaiming the house, if you like. Then I catch up with my other half, fire up the interwebs, and then maybe have a glass of wine and watch Mad Men on DVD. Sounds boring but after a day with a baby, it is sooo sweeet.
bokker | October 6th, 2010 at 3:24 am
SKL is making me laugh. Mine was quite that but when we had a sitter that was way out west, it took 45 minutes to get back from downtown on the train. So if I left on time I had 15 minutes to spare - yeah right!
I was constantly slamming my steering wheelin frustration at the people who just didn’t think it was a problem that ONLY TWO CARS MADE IT THROUGH THAT LIGHT!
Now that daycare is at the elementary school it seems so leisurely to get there on time most days go home start dinner, start laundry, help with homework, do dishes…
Mich | October 8th, 2010 at 8:04 am