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Telling the company I’m pregnant

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I’m about to tell my company I’m pregnant. I told my extended family over Christmas, I told the Internet back in November, at five weeks, and I of course told my husband before the test was even dry. I don’t know if I’ll ever tell Facebook because, well, I kind of hate Facebook (okay, not “kind of,” I really hate Facebook) and so the next big step is definitely telling my boss and supervisor and coworkers, in part because I’m excited, duh; in part because I don’t want them wondering where I’ve disappeared to when I drop off their radar from July to October; and in part because I don’t want anyone there to think I must hate them (as I hate Facebook and all Montagues) because I waited so long to share the news. I’m already 15 weeks along, and at this point even postponing the announcement until week 16 feels like an insult.

The first time I was pregnant I waited to spill the beans at work until I had a clean bill of health and an adorable ultrasound image of my 13-week fetus to show, mostly because I thought no one would believe me if I couldn’t produce solid photographic evidence. They still didn’t believe me at first, but eventually they had to as I became increasingly rotund and unfailingly dismissive of every single glass of free wine I was offered at company events.

This time there will be no big surprise–I’m a married mother of a three-year-old; most people will probably respond with “FINALLY!”–and, expecting neither tickertape parade nor mushroom cloud when I share the news, I guess I’ve just let the last few months go by figuring, “Eh, they’ll find out eventually. What’s the rush?”

(Also, if I’m honest, I really wanted to enjoy this brief period of not being consumed with paranoia that all my professional contacts consider me a liability now that I have baby on the brain. I know I’m not the only one who worries about this.)

So I’m telling them, but I still don’t know how I’ll do it. Surreptitiously drop it into the agenda notes of an upcoming meeting? Tape an ultrasound photo to my office door? Singing, dancing telegram in a bear suit?

Heck, I could even just post it on Facebook and let word spread via digital wildfire the way Al Gore intended.

How did you tell your coworkers? When did you tell your coworkers? How did it go?

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5 comments so far...

  • I just emailed everyone in my department. I hate having to tell people in person. I’m a bit of an introvert, so other people’s reactions to my big news is overwhelming (the excitement, questions, hugs, etc.). Email is my friend in these situations. I let the news spread on its own from there.

    Lauren E. E.  |  January 18th, 2012 at 10:53 am

  • I just had to do this and I was dreading it!! Mostly because I work for a small company and I know it will be hard on them for me to be gone! I told my direct co-worker over our Christmas party dinner, since it was just the two of us and I told the rest of them over email, since I work from home and it’s hard to drive over two hours just for that! They are all excited but it would have been nice to tell them in person.

    Jessica  |  January 18th, 2012 at 11:22 am

  • I had a related but different dilemma five years ago. I was a full-time single professional, quietly working on an adoption. Well actually, two adoptions at the same time. Adoption is largely out of the a-parents’ control; many things could have gone wrong and I could have ended up childless after all. If that were the case, I would not want my company to start seeing me as a person who should no longer be given responsibilities involving continuous long hours and travel (and no longer deserving of the respect / compensation that goes with that expectation).

    I waited until a certain key formality was passed and there was a possibility that I could take custody within a few months. As it turned out, I took custody 5 months later. As expected, things at work started to fall apart after my announcement, to the point that ultimately, even if the adoption had fallen through, I would have been planning my exit.

    SKL  |  January 18th, 2012 at 1:49 pm

  • I told my immediate manager once the news was public within our family and friend circles. Once we passed the first trimester stuff and I started to show, I told my larger group of co-workers. I expected them to spread the word but not a single gossiper in the group! I was asked (very discreetly and sweetly) by a co-worker and when I nonchalantly replied in the affirmative, my cube was swarmed because apparently everyone suspected but no one knew but no one dared to ask. Keep in mind by this point I’m 20+ weeks along and wearing maternity clothes and definitely showing. I thought it was hilarious they were being so sweet and privacy respecting but now I know who to tell to spread the word!

    livlaugheat  |  January 18th, 2012 at 10:18 pm

  • For my first pregnancy I had been working at my company about six months when I was hospitalized and found out…so I was out for about 4 weeks on bed rest, then I had the baby 7 mos later. Was out for 12 weeks. then I got a new position at another office about 8 mos later. And 2 weeks after I started I was surprised to learn I was pregnant again! Al of my mangers were very understanding and wonderful!

    Tikibelle  |  February 11th, 2012 at 9:50 am