

Working (On) Motherhood
with Leah
I'm Leah, and in a lucky twist of fate, I've landed my three dream jobs:
book editor, writer, and mother. Since having my son in December 2008, my
work-life has been in constant flux - full-time? part-time? freelance?
working at home or in the office? It depends on the day and which way the
wind is blowing - and figuring out how to keep it all going is a constant
challenge. Heck, I'm still getting used to the idea of being someone's
mom.
Check out my profile on Work It, Mom! and my personal blog, A Girl and a Boy.
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It’s a touchy subject, but I’m going to try to write about it in a non-judgey, not-telling-you-what-to-do, just-thinking-aloud type of way.
Say you’re unemployed. Say you’ve been unemployed for not days or weeks but months, and maybe even more than a year. You’re diligent about applying for positions, you follow up, you wear your shiniest shoes to interviews but still can’t find work. It sucks. It sucks HARD. It’s a hit on your self-esteem, it insults all the effort you put into school and at previous jobs, and it’s especially terrifying if you have a family to support and don’t know where you’re going to get the money to pay for groceries.
It’s a down economy, times are tough, unemployment is rampant, and yet…at what point do you stop blaming the market and accept that the problem might actually be…you? I’m not talking about not being worthy of a job or not a competent and quality employee. I’m talking about the ways in which you might be limiting yourself, say by narrowing the definition of What You’re Good At and/or What You Can Do.
My husband’s been in the biotech business for more than a decade, and although that’s definitely what’s he’s Good At and Able to Do, that’s just the tip of the iceberg of his skills and talents and interests…which we’ve come to appreciate more and more during this last month he’s been unemployed and looking for work. (Again.)
Like most people researching new jobs, he started by applying for the same old positions in the same old field, but it wasn’t long before he had to expand his search simply because there’s just not that much out there for someone in his particular niche. That’s the depressing part (okay, there are several depressing parts), but the invigorating (yes) part has been asking, “Okay, so, what else can you do? What else do you want to do?” It’s not a planned midlife career change by any means, but if he does end up going in a new direction, I think it’s going to be kind of amazingly awesome. (He recently interviewed for a position in the music industry, which is his real passion and would be so much more personally fulfilling than his jobs have been in the past.)
For those of you looking for work, whether because you want to change jobs or because you need a job, any job, because your wife is having a baby in three months, at which point her salary will drop by at least half and you won’t be able to pay the bills (AHEM): At what point do you stop looking at the same Craigslist categories and start thinking outside the box? What other skills do you have, even if you’ve never used them professionally? Is your financial situation such that you could afford to take an internship in an area that interests you–ideally one that will expand your job prospects into an industry with more opportunities? If I may use a bit of fauxspirational business jargon: Are you thinking outside the box?
I without a doubt believe that the job market is a factor in many cases and that sometimes people just have bad luck, but I also believe in creative problem solving and taking control over things we CAN control rather than just sitting back and wallowing in our perceived victimhood. Being unemployed suuuuuuuuucks, I know this, believe me, but it’s also a chance to make a change for the better.
And that’s your Pollyanna speech for the day from someone who is trying not to panic that OMG I’M SEVEN MONTHS PREGNANT AND MY HUSBAND IS UNEMPLOYED AND WE’LL HAVE TWO KIDS WHO NEED CHILDCARE AND MY SALARY ALONE BARELY PAYS THE MORTGAGE AND WE’RE GOING TO BE HOMELESS AND PENNILESS AND NO ONE WILL EVER LIKE US AND WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE IN A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER ET CETERA.
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I sooooo needed to read this today! LOL. I have paralyzed myself with fear, over the past week, concerning a move back to the Midwest, after living on the East Coast for 8 years. But you’re right, it’s time to think outside the box! Great post!
Fruition77 | April 22nd, 2012 at 1:55 pm
Yes! I can see a lot of truth in this! I have a degree in English and I have worked at many places: as a librarian, a teacher, a receptionist at a newspaper and now I work in customer service for a cloth diaper company. With the exception of teaching English classes, very few jobs apply directly to my degree. My spouse, on the other hand, did not get a college degree and he spent 2 years trying to figure out what he wanted to do with his life after burning himself out on construction. It was frustrating because I know he was smart enough to work somewhere outside his comfort level, but he didn’t have the courage to do so. He’s finally working as an EMT, going on to be a paramedic, but I wish he hadn’t felt like he couldn’t work elsewhere.
Jessica | April 24th, 2012 at 3:24 pm
My friend who worked in lab-based scientific research (virology) recently took a change of direction and now works in publishing (science journals). He LOVES his new creative role, it’s completely different whilst still being within his field of expertise. Circumstances are different in that he didn’t lose his job, he chose the change. But it’s the best thing he’s done.
When my partner lost his job when I was six months pregnant (commiserations… there is nothing quite like that particular sort of panic), he did get a job in the same field quite quickly. But I know in that interim period, he was willing to do pretty much anything, and had Plan B (pursuing something in a different area of interest) and Plan C (doing whatever the hell he could get to earn money) in place. In fact , he used time between jobs to start doing volunteering in the food/food education sector- his passion- with a view to moving in that direction eventually. So it was not such a bad thing in retrospect.
I read somewhere that people don’t have one career any more, they have several. That’s exciting (but for the record I am SO staying in my been-here-forever, secure-as-it-can-be job until I am done having babies, esp since my partner’s industry is rather volatile).
Good luck to your husband!
(Wow, long comment…)
Becky | April 25th, 2012 at 2:12 am