Viewing category ‘child care’

I'm Leah, and in a lucky twist of fate, I've landed my three dream jobs: book editor, writer, and mother. Since having my son in December 2008, my work-life has been in constant flux - full-time? part-time? freelance? working at home or in the office? It depends on the day and which way the wind is blowing - and figuring out how to keep it all going is a constant challenge. Heck, I'm still getting used to the idea of being someone's mom.

Check out my profile on Work It, Mom! and my personal blog, A Girl and a Boy.

More mothers say they want to work full time(?!)

Categories: child care, economy, happiness, time management, working from home

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Ever since having kids, I’ve said (and predict I will continue to say for a very long time), that my ideal working situation is part-time–whether out of the home, in the home, on a boat, with a goat…whatever. Most of my mom friends seem to feel the same way, which is why I was surprised to read that the number of mothers who say they’d prefer to work full time has risen dramatically in just the last five years. Mothers who say they’d prefer to work full time increased from 20 percent in 2007 to 32 percent in 2012, according to a Pew Research Center survey (link goes to an overview) of 2,511 working parents (both men and women) conducted at the end of last year. Are you as surprised by this as I am?
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The breastfeeding professor: This nursing mom’s take

Categories: breastfeeding, child care

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I know this is super-old news, but as a nursing mother, and a working mother, I feel like I have to say something. Several weeks ago university professor Adrienne Pine made news for breastfeeding her infant daughter during the first day of class as American University, in Washington, D.C. A few students freaked out, as you’d expect (”Boobs! Ew!”), and the story made the front page of the Washington Post. Pine defended the incident via a blog post in which she insisted that breastfeeding her child while leading a lecture was neither an “incident” nor one that needed defense.

Naturally both Pine–who was teaching a feminist anthropology class–and the media made the issue about public breastfeeding and gender discrimination and natural, protected acts. Obviously this is why the story made headlines, but I’d argue that the problem–and yes, I do think breastfeeding a child in front of a class is a problem–shouldn’t be about how the baby was fed but that the baby was there at all. Pine said she had to bring her daughter to class because she was too sick to attend daycare. How was she, then, not too sick to bring into a college classroom?

As for the feeding issue, the thorn for me isn’t that a woman was breastfeeding in public or even in a classroom, it’s that she was breastfeeding while teaching a class, and there’s no way that wouldn’t be distracting any less so than if she were bottle feeding or spoon feeding her baby. A natural act–even a legal, protected act–does not necessarily mean it’s an appopriate-in-all-situations act. Does a professional actor bring her baby on stage during a performance? Does a judge feed her baby under her robe?

Although Pine insists it wasn’t a stunt and that she didn’t want to turn the “incident” into a “teachable moment” (just coincidence that it happened during a feminist anthropology course, then?), I wonder why she didn’t hire a babysitter for the short duration of the class. She actually did this the very next day. Since the baby is normally in daycare, I’d assume she can be bottle- or spoon-fed by someone besides her mother, and that’s where I take issue with the idea that breastfeeding while teaching class was the only–or even best–option.

I wrote about my own feelings on public breastfeeding here, and I too have experience breastfeeding my non-bottle-taking first son at the office. I did it behind a closed door on a break, though, not while leading a staff meeting or giving a public presentation.

I really don’t think the issue here is about nipples or gender discrimination or even breastfeeding but about professional conduct, which I’d say was breached by having a baby in the classroom at all, regardless of how she was fed. If a male professor brought a child to class and bottle fed him during a lecture, I’d feel the same.

What do you think? Was it appropriate for Pine to breasfeed her sick daughter during class?

How do you thank your childcare provider?

Categories: Uncategorized, child care

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A few weeks ago, actor and former Saturday Night Live cast member Amy Poehler was among the guests of honor at the sixth annual Time 100 Gala, for which “influential people” are invited to toast the people who influence them. After Poehler got a few jokes out of the way, she ultimately went on to say that the two people who have had the most influence in her life over the past two and a half years–during which she gave birth to two sons–were the nannies who help her take care of her family every day.

Watch her speech here.
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What do you outsource?

Categories: child care, time management, working from home

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Some days it sure feels like I’m trying to do it all myself, but even in my darkest woe-is-me hours, I know that I definitely, definitely am not. It would be hard to overlook the hands-on support of my does-more-than-his-fair-share husband, and then there are the “it takes a village”-style friends and family who are a part of my son’s life too, but when I take an even bigger step back and look at all the balls I’m juggling on an average day, and I see how impossible it is to do that alone, I realize how much I rely on not just a village but a sprawling network of helpers (paid and not) to keep things running (relatively) smoothly, and I imagine most other working mothers do too.
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Five things I’ve learned in two years of parenting

Categories: child care, time management

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One good thing (the only good thing?) about having a Dreaded December Baby is that while everyone else is taking year-end stock of the previous twelve months, I also get to take stock of my latest year as mother to a kid born on December 14. Here are the top five parenting lessons I learned in 2010:
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Are you friends with your daycare providers?

Categories: child care, mom friends

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A year and a half ago, as we were preparing to leave our three-month-old son with babysitters for the first time, I asked for your advice about how to handle a situation in which your sitters were not hired hands but friends who had volunteered for the job. Although I didn’t get to put your advice to work right away (the baby would not take the bottle, so we had to give away our theater tickets after all), we did eventually steal away for some date nights, and our friends/sitters have been delighted with the small tokens of appreciation we’ve given them in thanks. 

Flash foward to today, when my twenty-month-old son is a pro at being under someone else’s care and we have no trouble calculating how to reimburse for those services because the numbers are right there in the childcare contract we signed. He’s been in daycare for almost three months now and he’s absolutely thriving. He loves the activities and the food and the other kids, and he loves his teacher. I love his teacher too; with her boundless energy and bottomless bag of tricks, she is in many ways the mother I wish I were.     

A few weeks ago, I dropped him off on a Monday morning, and during the usual what-did-you-do-over-the-weekend chitchat with his teacher, I mentioned we’d gone to see Daddy’s band play an afternoon concert in San Francisco. Her face lit up and she asked about the band’s name, what kind of music they played, and when their next gig was. Because she wanted to come see. Well, when you’re in a band playing for tips, it’s always good to fill the room with people you know, so of course I invited her along to the next show, but then I got to thinking: could/should we be including her in other things we do too? 

When my son turns two we’ll almost certainly invite her to his birthday party, but what about inviting her to our grown-up parties as well? Should we add her to the list of friends we’d call to meet us at the farmer’s market on Saturday morning, or at the zoo or the playground (she has a seven-year-old daughter)?     

What do you do? Is your childcare provider also your friend, or is she strictly an employee? Does it make a difference if she’s working out of a center versus running the daycare from her own home? Do you feel the same or differently about school teachers? Is it confusing for kids to spend time with their teachers outside of the school environment? 

Is it okay to “settle” for child care?

Categories: child care

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I knew it was coming. I knew it was coming a long time ago. I knew it was coming and I knew it would be bad, so I even warned YOU it was coming. What is it? Child care, the cost of.
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The best advice I ever got

Categories: child care, maternity leave, the home office, time management, working from home

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While I was pregnant (and even before), I read a lot about the experiences of pregnant working women and, in particular, how they handled the Big Question: whether to continue working, either inside or outside the home, after the baby was born, and if so, in what capacity. Following maternity leave–six weeks? sixteen weeks? a whole year? however long it takes to pull your pants up and log in to your email account?–what were the experiences of women who went back to work full-time immediately, eased back into 40-hour weeks gradually, switched to part-time permanently, switched careers entirely, started working from home exclusively, or became stay-at-home moms, either putting their jobs on hold temporarily or giving them up completely? An analyst by nature, I knew that if a “right” answer was out there, I’d be able to find it, by golly.
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Stepping outside my comfort zone

Categories: child care, mom friends

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Last week an email went out on my neighborhood’s listserve asking for mothers interested in forming a babysitting co-op. Two mothers would be in charge of watching everyone’s kids for a few hours one day a week, and then the next week another two mothers would take over the babysitting shift; with a minimum of four people in the group, each mom would get a few hours off every other week to do as she pleased. The woman trying to organize the co-op lives around the corner, has a daughter the same age as my son, and seems like a nice person. Even better, here, finally, was my chance to foist my beloved but wearying child onto a third party and steal some time for myself (even if I waste it on something dumb like much-belated spring cleaning), and without it costing a penny.

Yes, it sounded like a great solution, so then why was I composing a mental list of all the reasons it was a bad idea for us (the baby would get sick; how could I trust these other mothers I didn’t know?; my schedule changes too much and I wouldn’t want to flake out on anyone; what if my son went missing in someone’s house now that he’s mobile and fast enough to get down the hall and stuck under a table, NOT THAT I WOULD KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THAT)?
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Does having a second kid destroy your “grown-up” social life?

Categories: child care, time management

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Photo by <a href=It’s way too early for me to be thinking about this for my own personal use*, but I have some questions about having a second kid.


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