Work It, Dad!
with Avi Spivack
Hi, I'm Avi, and I try to put the work and the dad together, with mild success. This is all about trying to give you a view from what it looks like on the dad-man's side of the world, and I hope you find my ruminations humorous because I try not to take myself too seriously.
Okay, I’m no Bobby Flay. Or Mario Batali. Or Emeril. Or Chef Boyardee.
But I can cook a mean omelet and follow a recipe like nobody’s business. I would give myself an “A-” grilling grade and my salads are top notch. Better yet, many of my fellow men can cook up a really mean meal.
So why oh why is the perception of men in the kitchen still summed up by a new Pizza Hut commercial (probably planned specifically for the baseball playoffs)…Happy middle-class family. Children with mother tell her that “Dad is cooking tonight.” And guess what? When they get home, Dad has ordered from Pizza Hut! Yeah Dad! You’re the Best! And Mom is so happy, too! What a happy family! And what a terrible example to set for the way in which fathers are responsible in the home.
Now don’t get me wrong, my wife would cook me under the table if we were on Iron Chef America, but I am not totally useless in the kitchen. I (mostly) know where stuff is, what it is, and what it’s used for. And if the world depended on me, I could cook a Mediterranean lamb dish.
It’s the whole three-course thing that throws me off.
But why is it that we (yes, we, American society and our fast-food, consumer-centric culture) continue to peg women as the cooks and the cleaners (the same goes for all the cleaning-product commercials) and the men as the dumbasses who need to order pizza in order to feed their families? And then their families are so happy about it!?!
Why don’t we lower the bar even more? Take-out every night!
It’s just sad that stereotypes of yesteryear have not caught up to the realities of today and who’s staying home with the kids, cooking and cleaning. Cause it ain’t always mom.
C’mon, Pizza Hut, maybe Mom should be buying that pizza ’cause she and her hubby are too busy working to cook. That would be more realistic. What do you think?
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My husband and I actually laugh at that commercial - I’m more likely to be the one to call Pizza Hut than he is. Drew can cook like a champ… he’s no Emeril either, but he can look in our fridge and make something outta nothing in no time flat.
Jenn Givler | October 25th, 2007 at 6:06 pm
You’re right about mom not always being the one. But I think in most of our worlds that is the case and the man that stays home isn’t the norm. The man who picks the kids up from school though and deals with dinner several nights a week is normal. But then I have no idea what he’s feeding them for dinner.
My husband was an excellent cook back in the days when he had the time to cook and dinner could be served at 10 PM. Now, however, he’s not home in time or often enough for that. On nights I’m heading out the door to teach and if I haven’t put together dinner for them he’s handing them cheese, in at least three varieties, hard salami and raisins (to balance out the cheese, says he).
I have a wide ranging family network and in that network there isn’t a single stay at home dad. And the one that works solely from home never comes out of his office. He keeps meaning to but it doesn’t happen.
Now can we go back to discussing take-out every night?!!?
Mandy | October 25th, 2007 at 8:23 pm
well, i can say that even men that can’t cook can LEARN to cook! most even want to! when i met my hubby, he litterally had no dishes. he had plastic forks/knife/napkin packages from fast food/take out and ate it EVERY NIGHT! He was 30. amazingly, i still dated him LOL!
since those many years ago, he has learned to heat up any kind of forzen meal in the microwave, make grilled cheese and soup, pb&j and mac and cheese! oh and salad. he is a dressing snob (go figure) and insists on mixing his own olive oil and vinegar. (salad counteracts anything ‘bad’ you might have eaten, dont you know)!!!
his nex goal is stew. i will have to post about it if he ever actually makes it LOL
kate | October 26th, 2007 at 2:31 am
I’m the one more likely to call Pizza Hut in our family. My husband is a better cook, but he gets home from work later on weeknights. We tend to eat better on weekends when he’s cooking. Me? I depend on the crockpot.
Daisy | October 26th, 2007 at 4:45 pm
My husband cooks. He says that he does not want to be dependent on anyone, and that he feels sorry for men who allow themselves to be infantilized. When we met, he was 30 and had resigned himself to the idea that he would have to live alone since ha could not find a woman who would allow him to take care of himself (remember, we live in Turkey). They thought he was weird. He cooks really nice dinners (the other night it was salmon with a nice salad), makes *great* pancakes and loves to experiment with smoothie recipes. We’ve been married 20 years. He also makes the bed– he will not let me make it because it must be “just so”. He’s very precise. And tidy. I love him.
KatieK | October 31st, 2007 at 3:56 pm
Oh, my husband and I laugh at that commercial, too; I always tell him that I would have his hide if it was his night to make dinner and I came home to find Pizza Hut on our table! He’s a chef, though, so we can laugh and say that would probably never happen. I love that my husband cooks, and he can whip up fantastic dinners in no time. You all say you/you’re husband is no Emeril - I think mine is better than Emeril! I’m no slouch in the kitchen, but I do think my cooking skills are evolving slowly and differently because of hubby’s profession.
That reminds me of a question I’ve always had in the back of my mind, though. As mentioned above, it’s often the wife who is looked to for dinner, but once you leave the home, most chefs are men. Why?
corinneyb | November 2nd, 2007 at 6:15 pm