with Avi Spivack
Hi, I'm Avi, and I try to put the work and the dad together, with mild success. This is all about trying to give you a view from what it looks like on the dad-man's side of the world, and I hope you find my ruminations humorous because I try not to take myself too seriously.
Did you ever see the movie Se7en? Dark, evil, and the bad guy wins. But it’s all about the seven deadly sins, and my personal favorite (yes, don’t you have a favorite sin?) is: Envy.
Flash forward from 1995 to 2008 - I am now happily married and the father of a soon-to-be four-year-old. My envies have obviously changed. Back then I was envious of the guys who could hit on the hot girls successfully and make it look easy. Now, I’m envious of the guys whose wives “baby” them. Don’t believe such a thing could be true?
Check this out (click to read).
In summary, there seem to be wives out there who think they are being more “womanly” or “wifely” by pampering their husbands to the point of basically mommy-ing them: bathing, clothing, feeding, and more!
Of course, my loyal readers know that I am being wildly sarcastic; I think that any man who needs his wife to scrub his back in the shower or pick and lay out his clothes for him has issues - because he really needs to know how to do those things for himself. Seriously.
I will be the first to admit that I do not buy my clothes for myself - my wife does. But once I have a closet-full of nice stuff, I myself can choose - with reasonable, stylish skill - what to wear. And my wife deserves all the credit, because she has taught me how to operate in adult-land, something I am still struggling with.
There is a big difference between being spoon-fed and knowing how to eat. It’s like the Chinese proverb: “Give a man a fish and he will east for a day; Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime.” Don’t mommy your husband, be his wife.
I am a generally smelly, hairy, messy, childish klutz (with a reasonably sound proclivity for the game of basketball), and my wife has been desperately trying to alter me for a long time. This morning, I went to meet her for breakfast; I walked in, she saw me, and said: “Man, I made you look good. I hope you appreciate it.” And I do. Fo sho.
To use clothing and style as an example: Before my wife, I was attempting to look like a Beastie Boy (clothes that were far too large for me), and now, after years of education, I can actually dress myself to achieve a compliment from my wife, which is really a compliment for her because her teaching has bore fruit.
My long-winded point: it is absolute folly - from both the wife’s and husband’s end - to allow the wife to baby the husband in the ridiculous ways many apparently do.
Us men need to be educated. Even if we may act like our own toddlers now and again (or all the time), we do have the capacity to learn (some things), so please, instruct us on how to successfully bathe, clothe, and feed ourselves, and we will make you proud. I hope.
So have you ever been guilty of mommy-ing your husband, and is that okay, or do you denounce it?
Subscribe to blog via RSS