Well, I am happy (and mostly relieved) to say that I am finally back in the employment saddle (starting Monday) after a not-so-fun 3+ months (which is the understatement of the year).

So instead of reflecting on the time I spent digitally networking and wearing the same dress pants for 4 interviews in a row (because I thought they were lucky), I am thinking about how our family coped with this disruption and how we will be happy to return to our family’s routine.

By nature I am neither organized nor tidy, but being married to a highly organized and clean (and amazing) woman has transformed me (a little bit). So while I never thought that maintaining a routine - daily and weekly - would be of importance, it turns out that keeping structure in our daily life amidst the insanity was very important.

We may be more set in a routine than others, but just as our daughter grew out of her “chaotic” infant months by finally conforming to a set nap and feeding schedule, we tried to simulate the “normal” daily routine in terms of who drops off and picks up our daughter from school, who is around in the house, etc. And the funny thing is that because of this, our daughter didn’t know I wasn’t working (being not quite 5 was helpful), and it made the whole situation somehow less mentally taxing.

And on Monday I will go back to the pre-layoff daily grind, with all of its annoyances, but I have a newfound appreciation both for being employed and for my wife, who ensured that we retained our routine over the past 3 months, and it was imperative.

What is your family’s schedule and is it mission critical to keep everything running smoothly in the daily juggle?

I have probably hit on this topic before (when I confessed that I didn’t know how to make pasta). But to piggyback on my last post about the ways in which men and women deal with unemployment, the interesting thing was that most of the comments focused on the fact that us men just don’t even SEE what needs to be DONE, whereas the domestic duties are somehow genetically programmed into the female brain - is this really true (or are we - I - just lazy)?

For example, I don’t walk into the kitchen and see the crumbs on the counter that need to be wiped or the dirty floor or the “mess” on the counter, but I know my wife does.

I say things like: “It looked clean to me.” (And it really did, but somehow it wasn’t.) So how are we to explain this phenomenon?

I mean, I will admit, growing up I was a bit of a slob, and the running joke with my wife is that when we met, she didn’t realize I had a big armchair in my apartment because IT WAS COVERED WITH CLOTHES.

Funny stuff, right?

I mean it is undisputed that men and women are wired differently - emotionally and otherwise - but do us guys just not see the dirt, do we not care about the dirt, or do we actually, possibly like the dirt (being closely related to primates as we are)?

I really struggle with this, not only because it causes friction at home, but because, honestly, many times I really, truly believe that a domestic task is done, that I am proud, that my wife will approve, and yet somehow I “missed a spot.” And I am not asking for points just because I’m “trying.” I am genuinely interested in this topic because it seems to be such a sore spot in so many households (”he doesn’t do anything”) - so why?

What’s the deal in your house and can we blame it all on bad genes?

Unemployment leaves you with time for ruminating, self-reflection (and doubt), and it tests your personal resolve.

I keep linking to the NY Times’ Well blog because their posts continue to be pertinent; most recently, “The Isolation of Unemployment.”

But while the original post itself was timely, what struck me - as so often happens - was one of the comments, which I will quote here:

“Men need to learn to develop an inner life. Most women who find themselves unemployed marvel at how much they get done that they can’t do when employed. Learn to be alone with yourself. It is amazing what you will learn.”

Whoa. So this hit me hard.

First off, what a blatant generalization about the sexes. And second, is it actually true - do I not have an “inner life?”

I will say that this experience of unemployment is one that I hope never to repeat again - to be out of work when I need to be working is just plain bad, and I cannot see how women would be able to get more done while unemployed. I basically spend all of my time trying to find another job - doesn’t everyone do the same?

But this differentiation of the sexes bothers me; I tend to believe that how someone deals with periods of stress (and loneliness) is not necessarily related to their gender, rather their makeup as a human and their ability to mentally “weather the storm.” Are men less “strong” in this regard - and in this particular period of stress - because we define ourselves with our jobs and without them we feel vacant? I don’t really think so.

For me, it is a new and odd and scary existence - because it is so unfamiliar: I have never before been without a job, so I have needed to learn how to adapt, but I don’t think my struggles can be tied to my lack of some sort of “inner life.” But perhaps I’m wrong. Perhaps you women are better equipped to deal with unemployment and loneliness and other life challenges better than us because you are more emotionally in-tune.

All I know is that I do miss the daily interaction and - as many other commenters suggest - I try to ensure that I schedule calls and meetings everyday, so that I don’t find myself slipping into a mental place from which it will be more difficult to escape. And that seems to be a universal theme, not a male one: we all need human interaction, and work frequently brings us that daily dose, even if it is often wrought with another kind of stress.

Above all, I’ve certainly gained a new perspective on employment as well as learned how I cope with stress - not too well (though in these times, it’s certainly tough to fight back the stress).

I continue to wonder, though, about that comment, and whether there is a kernel of truth to the notion that us men have not evolved inner lives and might we be afraid of what we find if we chose to look a little deeper to find there’s not much there?

I am VERY curious to hear your thoughts on this, so please, sound off!

Hi, my name is Avi and I am a digital addict.

There, I said it.

I had been trying to fight the truth for awhile (the first step in the process is denial, right?), but with spring right around the corner (yes, it must be) I felt it was time to come clean and admit my faults (well, one of them at least).

My blackberry is an appendage.

I check my gmail account at least 192 times a day (I estimate that I check my email every 5 minutes during the hours that I am awake, say 7 am - 11 pm, sometimes more; so that’s 16 hours, or 960 minutes, and every 5 minutes is 192 times, just to show you that I really care).

Now, granted, I am not currently employed, so this increases the need to check my email frequently, to see which of the multitude of companies will be offering me a job at 10:55 pm on a Thursday night (but who’s counting anyway).

So not only is my career based around the use of a computer and a blackberry, which sees me emailing to endless people well into the night, but I really, truly, cannot seem to go more than 4 minutes without feeling the urge to check my email - JUST IN CASE THE WORLD IS ABOUT TO EXPLODE AND I MIGHT BE ABLE TO SAVE IT. Really, is anything in life so important?

(One disclosure: while I am watching “Lost” I can typically resist the urge.)

So, of course, this digital addiction bothers me on two levels: first, I don’t actually want to nurse this addiction, and second, I am honestly worried that my daughter - and her whole generation for that matter - is going to grow up with computer chips embedded in their brains and maybe all of this digital connectivity stuff isn’t necessarily a good thing.

Beyond all of the “children spend too much time online and not interacting face-to-face with real people and that is bad” commentary, what will happen to us, and our children, when everything - and I mean everything - is digitally interconnected and all I have to do to check my email is close my eyes and have the “email/ESP” messages beamed into the frontal lobe of my brain?

What do you think? And are you an addict, too?