Work It, Dad!
with Avi Spivack
Hi, I'm Avi, and I try to put the work and the dad together, with mild success. This is all about trying to give you a view from what it looks like on the dad-man's side of the world, and I hope you find my ruminations humorous because I try not to take myself too seriously.
|
So it’s probably bad luck to talk about something until it happens, but it’s on my mind so I’ll share it anyway.
Right now I have a well-paying job with a flexible schedule and boss and I can leave around 5 and can subsequently enjoy some pre-bedtime family-fun-time (as well as mostly work-free weekends and occasional - but not burdensome - travel).
I have an opportunity with another firm that would likely entail many more hours and more money (but not a huge amount more). I don’t have this other job yet, but as I ruminate the possibility of this new job, I begin to wonder if a slightly increased salary is worth probably missing out on time with my family, especially my daughter, who hits the hay around 7 on schoolnights.
My initial reaction is absolutely not. Our daughter is still at that magical age where she thinks I’m funny all the time and having a nighttime dance party with her and my wife beats out anything else I could ever be doing.
It’s the new-age question: work or family? (And some studies point to a shift in priorities…but money is still important, right? And so is my longer-term career…)
So, I will head off to my interviews with these conflicting thoughts swirling around, unsure what to do IF I actually get the job.
I’ll keep y’all posted.
Any advice?
Subscribe to blog via RSS
I had a similar offer. I was being courted by a firm I’d contracted for in the past so they knew my work and specifically asked the recruiter to see if I’d be interested.
I wrestled & wrestled. On one hand, I didn’t want to burn bridge with people who obviously thought the world of my work and I wasn’t going anywhere where I was.
On the other hand, the job would require that if my staff didn’t show, I had to be in. Never mind if I had the day scheduled off, or if my kid was off school, I’d have to magically find a way to come in that day.
In the end, they couldn’t make the salary match, let alone bump, so I used that as the reasoning not to take the job (most people understand staying where you are for better money). But I think, really, the lack of flexibility was going to be the hardest to swallow. The other just a convenient, whew!
Mich | July 9th, 2009 at 5:32 pm
I say unless the pay is substantially more, take the family for sure!! You will not look back while on your death bed thinking “Gee, I’m glad I worked so much.”
Oceans Mom | July 9th, 2009 at 5:33 pm
I am with Ocean’s Mom. If there is better growth opportunity and the pay is at least 20% more, then it’s worth it. Otherwise, forget it.
vera babayeva | July 10th, 2009 at 2:06 am
Only you can dedide how the pros and cons balance out, of course.
If you are satisfied with your current position and the “opportunity” is not that exciting at first glance, then I’d consider what might make it a more attractive offer. Prepare to sit down in the interview and tell them what the job needs to be in order for you to take it. Whether that is more money, more responsibility, promotion to a more family-friendly position within a short time, assurance of x evenings off (in town) per month, never traveling during May (year-end school stuff), being able to bring your family on a business trip under certain circumstances, equipment and flexibility to enable you to work remotely (e.g., after your daughter goes to bed at 7pm), etc. And even if they promised me the moon during the interview, I’d look around to get a feel on how “workplace flexibility” etc. is really looked upon in the company.
If I didn’t think I could negotiate a position that would draw me away from my current job, I wouldn’t even waste precious time and energy on the interview.
SKL | July 10th, 2009 at 6:35 pm