So it’s probably bad luck to talk about something until it happens, but it’s on my mind so I’ll share it anyway.

Right now I have a well-paying job with a flexible schedule and boss and I can leave around 5 and can subsequently enjoy some pre-bedtime family-fun-time (as well as mostly work-free weekends and occasional - but not burdensome - travel).

I have an opportunity with another firm that would likely entail many more hours and more money (but not a huge amount more). I don’t have this other job yet, but as I ruminate the possibility of this new job, I begin to wonder if a slightly increased salary is worth probably missing out on time with my family, especially my daughter, who hits the hay around 7 on schoolnights.

My initial reaction is absolutely not. Our daughter is still at that magical age where she thinks I’m funny all the time and having a nighttime dance party with her and my wife beats out anything else I could ever be doing.

It’s the new-age question: work or family? (And some studies point to a shift in priorities…but money is still important, right? And so is my longer-term career…)

So, I will head off to my interviews with these conflicting thoughts swirling around, unsure what to do IF I actually get the job.

I’ll keep y’all posted.

Any advice?

Holy cannolis!

Call off the dogs. The gig is up. The show is over.

It is now scientifically proven that fathers are smarter than non-fathers - go forth and procreate!

Well, maybe…take a look at this and tell me what you think.

“Loving a woman and fathering her children changes a man’s body and brain in ways that make him more canny and resourceful,” Kuchinskas writes, “while improving his ability to handle stress…”

Very interesting indeed.

Okay, so the successful union of sperm and egg did not actually make me a smarter homo sapiens, but my brain has now been supposedly altered so that I am now more “canny and resourceful.”

Really, how so?

“In humans, studies have found that married men have lower levels of the hormone testosterone, while new fathers exhibit higher levels of prolactin. Both of these conditions positively influence a father’s parenting skills by increasing his sympathy and motivation to help his offspring.”

So I am supposed to be more sympathetic and be motivated to “help” my offspring. Gotta say I’m not really buyin’ this whole science/brain/hormone thing. I have been pretty darn motivated ever since her little head popped out, not sure I’ve become more sympathetic or inclined to help, but hormones are indeed a powerful force.

The coolest part is that “…a study by the Wisconsin National Primate Research Center suggests that lower testosterone could actually be triggered by a newborn baby’s smell.”

And that I believe: the moment I smelled her for the first time, I knew that life would never be the same.

What do you think - has your man become more sympathetic since the birth of your offspring?

In honor of the upcoming “holiday” I wanted to enlighten you all with the ability to bask in my own glory, my effervescence as a proud member of the “Neanderdad” (borrowed term) clan.

I begin this here post by alluding to - yet another - poignant note at the NY Times, all about thanking our spouses: here it is in case you missed it.

It was bit tough to wrap my thickening head around the idea that perhaps I am thanked too often at home for doing little things and I am therefore congratulated for doing what I should do. Huh?

So, here’s a little cheat-sheet for my wife to follow, just in case she forgets when she should thank me and when she should just let it be.

TEN TIMES WHEN I WANT TO BE THANKED AND APPRECIATED (not an “exhaustive” list):

1. When I open old jars that are really hard to open (such as pickles, or other items that typically last for a long time and whose jar usually sits in the pantry for many months)
2. When I reach something on a high shelf (especially if it cannot be reached by spouse standing on a footstool)
3. When I perform an unprecedented act of home repairedness (such as the recent replacement of a lavatory basin faucet handle - the thing that makes the water turn on and off)
4. When I assemble a highly complicated piece of IKEA furniture
5. When I wipe our child’s butt after a particularly gnarly bowel movement
6. When I meticulously separate paper and plastic/glass for the weekly recycling pickup
7. When I water the plants with Miracle-Gro
8. When I hang pictures level on the wall
9. When I remember to shave and shower in the morning
10. When I make the bed
10a. When I remember to put the seat down

PROPER TERMINOLOGY TO BE USED FOR SAYING “THANK YOU” FOR ABOVE-MENTIONED TASKS:
1. “Thank you, honey. Boy, you are strong.”
2. “Thank you, dear. Wow, you are so tall.”
3. “Thank you, sweetie, you are such a MAN.”
4. You get the idea…

How often do you thank your significant other, and when?

Am I the only one who thinks that we always do too much for our kids’ birthdays?

I know there have been some past articles on the subject, but we are 4 weeks and counting until our daughter’s number FIVE birthday, and the storm has been brewing.

Let’s take a look at the list of stuff that needs to happen, and then we can make an objective decision as to whether a five year old really needs this much to happen, just to celebrate the day of her birth (shouldn’t moms be more worthy of gifts on that day?).

Heregoes:

1. Create list of all school and other friends to invite
2. Choose party destination (because we now refuse to do it at our house because it was a literal zoo for the first three years)
3. Coordinate time and date with destination; send deposit
3a. Pay balance and wonder if it would have been cheaper to do it at home
4. Mail invitations (yes, we could have done an evite, but the destination sends you pre-made postcard invites that are more fun); also had to buy postcard stamps for this step
5. Field incoming RSVPs and keep track of who’s coming; casually remind those who do not respond by the day before that we kinda need to know - now
6. Choose bakery from among 73 in local area
7. Choose cake or cupcakes; actually go and pick up chosen baked goods on day of party and bring them to party destination while driving in the breakdown lane and AC blasting (which inevitably causes post-nasal drip)
8. Choose pizza place; coordinate pizza delivery for date and time desired
9. Provide (researched) gift suggestions to all interested relatives
10. Deal with screaming children for 90 minutes
11. Be thankful that we have an SUV (a small one) so we can carry all of the presents home
12. Decide how many of the old toys can go to the Salvation Army
13. Earn PhD in box-opening (online certificate)
14. Convince ourselves that our daughter is not spoiled
15. Vow to have a “small” party next year

Tell me: What has been your partying experience?