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with Nataly
Hi, I am Nataly and I am the co-founder of Work It, Mom!
I write the daily Work It, Mom! Blog where I talk about issues affecting working moms, goings on in our Work It, Mom! community, new site features, updates,and contests. I also share my own juggle between work and family and love to see members jump in with comments. Come and visit often!
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The work/family juggle–school days edition
Categories: Balancing Act, Guest Blog, Parenting & Family
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Today’s guest blog post is by Florinda, one of our most active members here at Work It, Mom! (To say we’re thrilled to have you, Florinda, is a huge understatement!) If you’d like to have your guest blog post featured on Work It, Mom!, send it in an email to nataly@workitmom.com. Please make sure it’s relevant to working moms and is under 300 words or so.
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Many of us want to be involved in our kids’ education. It may frustrate us sometimes when schools schedule events that cause us to juggle our workday if we want to be there - and can make us feel that they just don’t consider working parents, especially in schools that seem to have a lot of students with an at-home parent - but then again, it is their workday too. School classrooms, offices, and administration buildings are staffed by working parents, but they don’t tend to work the same hours that many of the rest of us do. (I have to admit it took me a long time - and the input of some teacher friends - to see that perspective on it.)
That schedule difference usually means having to make arrangements for our kids before school, after school, or both. If some form of flextime can’t take care of everything - and it’s unusual if it can, on both ends of the day, when you’re working outside the home - then you’ll need to decide among child-care programs, sitters, and, for older kids, the “home after school on their own” option.
Unless they’re part of your regular after-school arrangements, extracurriculars add even more wrinkles - literally, if you’re stressing over them a lot. My thinking on that is to keep them limited until your kids become independently mobile (read: high school), because fitting games, practices, dance lessons, etc., into already crowded schedules is completely optional, unlike school. And my opinion is also that school, including homework, is the most important thing they’re doing - and homework is becoming a bigger thing all the time. I’ve also noticed that these activities often are scheduled in ways that aren’t especially friendly to working parents, either. If you are making time for activities, though, you might have your child choose the one activity or sport he or she most wants to do; it’s not bad for them to learn that there are limits. (Some of us parents need to remember that at times, too.) If you do that, I think it’s important for it to be the child’s choice, even if you might have a different preference - he wants karate, you’d rather have him play baseball - so that he or she is really invested in the activity. And they honestly will be OK if they don’t do extracurriculars, at least sometimes - it might give you all a little more unstructured family time (or even find you some “me” time - can you imagine?).
Since it’s unlikely we’ll be seeing year-round schools with schedules approximating our standard work hours (perhaps with before- and after-care hours included for families that need them), we’ll need to learn the best way for us to work the school-year juggle - so it doesn’t end up working us. And although as moms we tend to take everything on ourselves, we shouldn’t forget that - if we’re lucky - there’s another parent around too.
Florinda Pendley Vasquez is the mom of one adult child, stepmom of two school-aged children, works in accounting to pay the bills, and writes for the sheer joy of doing it. She blogs at The 3 R’s: Reading, ‘Riting, and Randomness.
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I feel this way often. Thank you for tackling this subject. I am very lucky to have a husband who does more than most, but Moms tend to want to do it all, so here comes the guilt.
Traci | October 16th, 2007 at 12:28 pm
When my children were younger, they were allowed one ‘physical’ and one ‘non-physical’ activity at a time. That means, say karate and pottery, or yoga and flute lessons. As they got older, they were responsible to arrange transportation: car-pooling, city bus, biking. Now we don’t own a car, so they’re totally on their own. It works fine.
It’s the daytime school activities that caused me the most regret. I run a daycare from my home. I have ZERO flexibility during my working hours. I can’t take an extended lunch, or a morning off, to volunteer with a field trip or in the classroom, much as I might like to, not more than once a year or so. I suppose I’m not so different than any other working parent, but I still regret it — and sometimes, teachers who know I work from home don’t get it, either.
But it is what it is. There are always choices and challenges, no matter how you structure your life. I don’t regret my job; I don’t regret my children. Pulling it all together isn’t always straightforward, but it’s always worth it!
MaryP | October 18th, 2007 at 1:42 pm
I know the zero flexibility route: I’m a teacher. The bell rings, I’m on duty. My own kids? The year I taught in my neighborhood school in the classroom next to my daughter’s was such a gift. I got to see her every day, walk home from school with her, and she wasn’t old enough to be embarrassed by it — yet.
Daisy | December 3rd, 2007 at 10:12 pm