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with Nataly
Hi, I am Nataly and I am the co-founder of Work It, Mom!
I write the daily Work It, Mom! Blog where I talk about issues affecting working moms, goings on in our Work It, Mom! community, new site features, updates,and contests. I also share my own juggle between work and family and love to see members jump in with comments. Come and visit often!
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Today, seven people have asked me if I’ve voted. One was the very nice woman behind the counter in a coffee shop. One was a personal trainer at the gym. Two were business contacts with whom I had a conference call. Three were people I’d call friends. I’ve never really thought about it before but it struck me today: Is “Did you vote?” a personal question?
My first reaction is to say no. Voting is something most of us have the right to do and it’s something that generally talked about a lot. Voting is a positive act that celebrates our country and our democracy. And from what I can tell, many people like to be asked if they’ve voted.
But somehow — and perhaps it is because I was asked this question by many people in rapid sequence today — it feels a bit personal, like something I don’t really want to be discussing with my business associates. It’s definitely less invasive than “Who did you vote for?” which I think is just an inappropriate question to ask someone unless you know they are comfortable telling you. (And definitely not something I’d suggest talking about at work.) But when one of my business contacts started our call by saying, in a tone that suggested that a lecture on democracy would be forthcoming if I’d said no, “So, did you vote today, Nataly?” I felt oddly uncomfortable.
What do you think? Do you like being asked if you voted? How do you feel about asking or being asked this at work or by people who don’t know you well?
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I don’t mind the question even though it’s a bit personal. Sort of along the lines of “are you all ready for Christmas?” As long as they don’t try to get me to say “how” I voted, they are in safe territory.
SKL | November 4th, 2008 at 7:36 pm
I don’t think people are trying to be too personal, I think it’s just an acknowledgement of what’s happening today. Similar to people asking you if you’ve eaten well on Thanksgiving or if you have plans on New Year’s.
Now if they ask who you voted for…that’s too personal.
Katie | November 4th, 2008 at 9:34 pm
so did you vote today?
I dont’ think it’s person. I had many people ask me that for the past week.
Vera Babayeva | November 4th, 2008 at 9:44 pm
I don’t think that this is a personal question per say. I think it’s more of a patriotic question if there is such a thing. I probably wouldn’t ask it to strangers but to friends and loved ones.
zjojor | November 5th, 2008 at 1:09 pm
I think it has become a personal question for me with this particular election….everyones emotions have been running so high. I feel like everytime I am asked if I voted or was I going to vote I was preparing for a follow up attack on my personal beliefs and opinions. It just doesn’t seem to end with that question. I did vote and I am proud of the way I voted, but I don’t condemn anyone for the way they voted and I don’t want to be condemned…so yeah it is personal this time!
jbutler | November 5th, 2008 at 1:24 pm
It is a somewaht personal question if it was followed up by asking who?? - However, in our office we were having an informal poll as to who had the shortest or the longest wait and that was the major question. The area that I live in almost always has a good turnout for any election regardless.
Heather | November 5th, 2008 at 3:14 pm
I think it can be a very personal question. In some sense, when people ask ‘did you vote?’ often they are really suggesting that you are/are not a responsible, proactive, educated citizen, part of the ‘club.’ Yet often, they don’t even really know what the issues are. Responsible people may vote, but voting does not make one responsible.
Alicia | November 5th, 2008 at 5:19 pm
Religion, Sex and politics are the three topics of conversation that should be avoided…a simple question can be answered very vague without being too personal. Yes or no. Consider the source and realize the social economics of the person asking you the question. For some people, voting is a sense of ownership. Anyone that is of 18 and years of age and of a US citizenship has the right to vote. What matters is what you do after Election Day. That’s the real value of the question “Did you vote?” Maybe the question should be “What are you doing to make a difference?”
Tonya | November 5th, 2008 at 9:37 pm
I do not think it’s a question that crosses the line, so long as it is not a leader question for who? To me, voting is a responsibility and opportunity.
If someone asks, I take it like they are doing their part to keep us all active and part of the “greater good”. It’s no different than when your friend gives you a nudge not to litter: Don’t litter, just because you shouldn’t.
Vote, just because you should.
And if you didn’t vote (or hadn’t by the time they asked), then consider the question a gentle form of acceptable peer pressure.
Kelly | November 6th, 2008 at 12:07 pm
It’s not a personal question. Heck, it should be an unnecessary question: if you’re of age and eligible, voting should be a given. The only reason it might make a person uncomfortable, I’d think, would be if you hadn’t voted, but just because you feel a teeny bit guilty about your answer doesn’t make the question wrong!
Asking who you voted for, now *that’s* personal and inappropriate.
MaryP | November 6th, 2008 at 12:09 pm
I dunno, it makes me kinda sad that we cannot discuss something that is such a privilege that we have as citizens of this country. I understand the hesitance, the “personal nature” reaction, but I have to wonder if it’s b/c we are nervous about the way people might react. If people decide to be jerks about it, well, there are jerks in the world that we all have to deal with from time to time. That’s their problem, not ours. Just this morning, I had a neighbor who asked me, “What did you think of the election results?” I admit my first reaction was nervousness b/c I wasn’t sure if he was gonig to turn out to be one of those jerks. But then I decided, hell, it’s my right to have my opinion, and if he reacts in an obnoxious way, I don’t have to stay in the conversation. So I gave a fairly innocuous “I was satisfied,” to which he started to talk — in a rational way — about some of the issues he had. I realized he was probably from the opposite side of the political spectrum from me, yet we were having a polite conversation. Well, it wasn’t two-way, and I finally had to stop him b/c I had to take my son to school! But I thought, well, now I know my neighbor a little more, and that’s a good thing. - Paula.
Paula | November 6th, 2008 at 12:26 pm
Hmmm…..great question! I wouldn’t have thought of it as invasive, but this year, because of all the issues and controversy, I believe people were looking for a reason to support their own agendas by opening up that door. If the answer is no…..does the person get a lecture? If the answer is yes, does the person get praise? I’ve learned - someway painfully - to not ask questions that I might not like the answer to, so I try to keep politics off the table. I’ve got to admit, however, I’m not always able to contain myself!
Cheryl | November 6th, 2008 at 1:29 pm
I’m with most of the other people who left comments. It’s not too personal if someone asks you if you voted. It’s crossing the line if they ask you who you voted for, especially if it’s not their choice and they are going to get all crazy and hostile about it.
Candance | November 6th, 2008 at 3:20 pm
In my opinion, asking “if” you voted is not all that personal.
But asking whom you voted “for” is a very personal matter.
Amy | November 6th, 2008 at 3:31 pm
I am proud to vote. It was something that was given to us with the 19th Amendment. I want my children to know that it is their future……..And that I can’t complain if I set back and do nothing.
Kim Begnaud | November 6th, 2008 at 3:47 pm
I voted, and I find it annoying when so many people ask me ‘did you vote, huh huh??” so I do not think the question is annoying only to those that did not vote.
I find it annoying because I am very politically involved, and I find that most of the people that ask/like this question are extremely uninformed about the issues, and simply want me to help them toot their horns for them. Usually, they just want me to ask them ‘did you vote?’
Someone mentioned this behavior is an ‘acceptable’ form of peer pressure, but I find this very sad, as you are peer pressuring people to vote without thinking. Please set an example by employing critical thinking to actually DISCUSS issues every day of the year, and not simply pressing punching buttons one day of the year.
Megan | November 6th, 2008 at 6:43 pm
I think asking a person if they voted is just a way of ensuring/reminding everyone of their responsibility to do so. So many people take it for granted and forget about the struggles of the past to ALLOW us to vote.
My 29 year old sister voted this year for the first time, in part because I asked her if she was registered and encouraged her to find out where she needed to go to vote, and to make sure she knew the issues going into the voting booth.
In other words…be prepared!
Valerie | November 7th, 2008 at 3:25 pm
I don’t think “Did you vote?” is a personal question at all. In fact, it’s very non-personal, at least to me. It’s a “yes” or “no” question. That’s all. I find that “WHOM did you vote for?” is a personal question to some people, which I didn’t know until I asked my husband’s real estate agent (for his business) the same question and he said he couldn’t tell me because I’m his client, to which I replied, “I didn’t know it was a personal question.” My co-worker standing next to me nodded his head. Gee, I really didn’t know “Whom did you vote for?” is a personal question, considering some people unashamedly (sp?) proclaim their choice in public or wear caps, pins, etc. that clearly shows their answer to the question (and I didn’t even need to ask them).
Linda | November 8th, 2008 at 3:58 am