My daughter is pretty good about daycare drop offs and I believe it’s because we’ve stuck to the same consistent routine for over a year one, one that she is comfortable with.
We unpack her stuff together and put her lunch in the fridge.
She asks me why she doesn’t have pasta for lunch. I remind her that she can’t have pasta every single day.
She looks at me with surprised eyes and asks why not.
I hang around for a few seconds as she checks out what other kids are doing in the class.
We hug, kiss, I say have a great day and then she runs to the goodbye window to wave to me.
I walk outside and walk up to the window (first floor) where we wave to each other and blow kisses.
Then I get into the car and drive away.
Except today I got into the car and started to drive away without going to the goodbye window. As I drove by I turned to look at it, by instinct, to see my daughter sobbing there with the teacher running to her.
My heart dropped. I stopped the car, right there in the middle of the parking lot, got out and ran over to the window. It took just a quick moment for my daughter to calm down, to wipe her tears and for me to say sorry a million times. But it’s now the end of the day and I’ve not been able to get over it.
I’ve had a horribly stressful few days. OK, I talk about stressed a lot, I know, but it’s been particularly stressful and in some unexpected ways. I’m distracted, under-slept, and generally not myself. But none of this seems like a good excuse to forget to wave to my daughter in the goodbye window.
Will she get over it? I am sure she is over it. But for me? This ranks up there with my bad mommy moments and for now, I feel like crap.