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Hi, I am Nataly and I am the co-founder of Work It, Mom!
I write the daily Work It, Mom! Blog where I talk about issues affecting working moms, goings on in our Work It, Mom! community, new site features, updates,and contests. I also share my own juggle between work and family and love to see members jump in with comments. Come and visit often!
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Bringing your baby to work: Good idea or no way?
Categories: Balancing Act, Career Talk, Working Women Issues
According to this article I just read in the New York Times more companies are allowing moms to bring their babies to work.
My reaction, as I read it, was why would anyone want to bring their child to work? Granted, I’ve never worked for a company that allowed this, but I don’t see the appeal. As things stand I struggle constantly to give 100% of my attention to my daughter when I am with her and to my work when I am working — I think this would be nearly impossible to do if my daughter were, in fact, right there where I work. I’m also fairly certain that having a baby running around an office is at least somewhat distracting to other people who work there, even if they absolutely positively adore babies and have lots of their own.
What I would have loved to have when my daughter was a baby is a daycare that was in my office building. It would have been great to stop by and see her during lunch or to be able to breastfeed her there comfortably rather than attach myself to a vicious, loud, angry machine (aka the breast pump) three times a day while my assistant stood guard outside my no-lock office door. But to actually have my baby in the office? I don’t see the appeal.
I’ve been lucky to have a reasonable (1/2 hour) commute since my daughter was born and to even be able to work from home part of the time during the past several years. Perhaps if this were not the case I would see more benefit in having my child in the office where I worked. But for now, you guys will have to show me what I am missing: Would you bring your baby to work if you could? How would you deal with the distraction, for you and your colleagues? Are there other upsides or downsides I am missing?
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Absolutely not.
Like you said, i can see the appeal of an on-site daycare. But, aside from the distraction it serves to the parents and other workers, what about the environment it offers for a baby?
If I can’t be there to give my kids the attention they deserve, I want SOMEONE to be able to. I’d rather they have a fully involved childcare staff and other children than a marginally attentive mother.
Miss Britt | January 6th, 2009 at 9:11 am
I don’t get that either! When folks in the office have babies and bring them in to show them off - we get nothing done! They are so cute and squirmy and adorable they are a total distraction. maybe if they were there every day it would subside? i don’t know. As the mother i would be a huge stress ball trying to keep baby quiet so that he/she didn’t disturb everyone else and probably get far far far less accomplished. it just seems like it would be more difficult than beneficial……
kate | January 6th, 2009 at 9:27 am
When I was on “maternity leave” for my first child I ended up doing a lot of work from home and occasionally I did bring her to the office when being on-site was necessary.I was lucky she was a sleeper and very easy going and low maintenance. Even after the leave I would occasionally bring her in for a part of the day if for some reason our usual child care plans where thwarted. It worked pretty well for me as an occasional thing but I can’t imagine doing it every day. My second child slept (sleeps) far less and likes attention so I’m less inclined to try. For women with the advantage of a designated space at their work place for the child and an additional caregiver it could be a great.
What seems important to me is that a work environment recognizes the value of their female employees and creates a set of options that help her balance the demands of motherhood and a professional life and empower her to select from the options that do indeed strike the right balance. Unfortunately, it seems when such options do exist they do so for a select tier of the work force and those at the lowest tier have fewest.
curvedfeather | January 6th, 2009 at 10:42 am
I have had to, on occasion, take my son to work for an hour or so. I would never do it on a regular basis. All he does is get into things and cry and yell when I don’t let him. It takes me at least twice as long to get anything done and answering the phone is impossible. I recently had to take him to a closing as daycare was closed the day after Christmas and my closing was pushed back. That, too, was a fiasco. He wanted to run around the office, when I put him in his stroller to confine him (with toys), he threw every toy on the ground screaming as he only wanted to run, bang on the glass, and dig in the trashcan. I had to leave paritally through the closing and apologize to my buyers, who luckily understood my situation completely as they have kids and work with kids. Terrible idea to bring kids to work. You can’t do both well.
Oceans Mom | January 6th, 2009 at 10:57 am
I think it really depends on the type of work you’re doing, and the office environment. I ‘bring my kids to work’ with me every day as I write from home with irregular childcare, and with a baby that often means nursing at the keyboard–not a huge deal. With older kids it can be both trickier and sometimes easier as they play independently. But I don’t have to worry about distracting co-workers. I also don’t have to worry about being distracted BY co-workers!
When my 3rd was a newborn I worked at about the family-friendliest place you could imagine–a freestanding birth center. I took him to work with me for about 7-8 months, 4 hours a day. My job was such that I was sitting most of the day, and he was an easy baby, so it was really no problem. Plus, it wasn’t the kind of place where anyone would mind seeing a baby behind the desk or hearing him in the background on the phone.
The upsides: breastfeeding was really easy, no need to pump or worry about supply issues or any of that. Plus I liked simply being with him.
The downsides: had he been a more fussy baby or if he’d needed a lot of walking around to stay happy, it would have been much harder to get things done.
I think it’s a scenario that can work really well if people in the office are open to it and understanding of the occasional interruptions a baby can create. For me, it would be the best of both worlds. I love being with my babies, but I also like being out in the world doing things that excite me. Working from home is a nice tradeoff but it can be lonely.
Meagan Francis | January 6th, 2009 at 11:33 am
Also, I wanted to comment on the idea that it’s better to have a fully attentive child care provider than a marginally attentive mom….I just wonder how often moms can *really* be fully attentive all the time anyway? It sounds great, but it’s not the reality of most people’s lives. If you work away from home, when you get home at the end of the day there are still things to do–housework, getting dinner on the table, maybe some carry-over from the work day. In a child-care center there are tasks to do and other children to be cared for–I know of very few (none?) childcare centers with a 1:1 ratio unless maybe it’s a newborn, and being “attentive” to a tiny baby is a matter of holding her/him, diapering, feeding and interacting during those times when she/he is actually awake. Again, depending on the kind of work you’re doing and the intensity, it doesn’t have to mean you neglect your baby in order to attend to your work. A baby’s needs are pretty simple. With older kids, it does get trickier, but also easier as older kids will play alone for periods of time (something I happen to think is good for them). The real issue, I think, is whether or not the office culture can handle a baby, not whether the baby can handle having a distracted mother. The truth is, we’re all distracted sometimes.
Meagan Francis | January 6th, 2009 at 12:09 pm
An on-site daycare, or even a partially subsidized daycare near by, would be wonderful. But having the baby with me in the office? Well, maybe it depends on the office, but it wouldn’t work at mine. I have brought my older kids in from time to time, but there’s a huge difference between having an 11-year-old there while you work and having an 11-month-old there…
Lylah | January 6th, 2009 at 1:15 pm
I’m starting to think I must have had some very, very needy babies. LOL
Miss Britt | January 6th, 2009 at 1:21 pm
Lylah–with toddlers, all bets are off! I was never able to bring my baby to work after he was about 8 months old and getting into everything. I’m more talking about babes-in-arms, and like you said, older kids. In the 8-month to 2-year range, they need way more space and freedom to mess things up than any office I’ve ever been in could provide–including one that had a toy and family area. (Guess what, he always preferred pulling all the paper out of the printer!)
Meagan Francis | January 6th, 2009 at 1:47 pm
When I was a new mom (and was just 24), I couldn’t bear the thought of being away from my gorgeous baby. I wanted to telecommute, but this was 1994 and the web just wasn’t big enough to make something like that work. So I did the next best thing, and brought my daughter to work with me all day, every day, until she was almost 1 year old. My office, however, was understaffed at the time, and mostly served as a meeting place for sales reps. So there were usually 2-3 people in the office generally, unless a rep came in. (I was also often there solo.) Apart from handling the phones, the work was somewhat flexible (only rarely did I have one hour and one hour only to get something done), so it worked out pretty nicely.
Until she started to walk and get into everything.
By 11 months, it was getting too tough. I realized it because although I loved having her there, I was practically crying as I dreaded balancing my increasing duties at work and responsibilities to my girl.
I was also schlepping all kinds of baby gear each day (because couldn’t afford 2 of certain things). I remember moving her from one thing to another, to nursing, to another toy, to a nap, etc. It was lovely to have her sleep in my arms and to be able to have lunch with her every day.
Like I have learned about pretty much EVERYTHING in life, there is no rule that works for everyone. So many things to take into account: your personality, your baby’s personality, your work situation and your boss’ feelings on the matter, how co-workers respond, your finances, availability (or not) of adequate daycare.
For my last two babies, I worked from home, and can’t imagine a better situation. (And I still work from home the majority of the time.) For me, that’s the best of all worlds - although I know a lot of women who need a more distinct separation between work and home. And that’s cool, too.
nancy | January 6th, 2009 at 2:00 pm
I feel exactly the same way you do, Nataly. I actually have brought my daughter to work with me a couple of times in the past couple of years. While she is very well-behaved and has this incredible (for a 2-year-old) ability to entertain herself quietly for up to an hour at a time, it was still distracting. I would hate to do it regularly.
However, on site daycare would be the best thing EVER!
Robyn | January 6th, 2009 at 4:30 pm
This is a crazy idea.
You cant do both at one time.
The child feels slighted.
Your work gets less than 100% of your attention.
Not to mention your co workers being upset!
As a mom I would hate to have a coworker bring in their child on a regular basis.
at my old job, one mom brought her child in when they were sick.
which I think was a bad move. the child was ignored all day.
If the kids are over 6 and can behave, i can see maybe a day or two here or there.
but under that, NO WAY!!
Deb R | January 7th, 2009 at 9:37 am
I think this is a (rather unusual, sadly) case of a handful of companies deciding to let employees determine what they can make work. I agree that for most people, most of the time, it probably wouldn’t work out. But I know off the top of my head of one person at my company who did it.
He picked up the baby from daycare mid-afternoons (just before naptime) and brought him in to the office until dinnertime. He had a portacrib in his cube and put the baby down to nap when he arrived. It did tie him to his desk during that couple of hours, but that was reasonably easy to work around. They started this routine pretty early, so by the time there might have been protests from the child, it was already established. And he was very good about playing with toys in his crib after he woke up until it was time to go home.
I want to say this worked for about a year. The key, though, is that if it hadn’t worked, I know this employee would have figured out some other solution. I know it, and the company trusted it. I know, novel concept, a company trusting its employees to do the right thing!
Jan | January 7th, 2009 at 2:18 pm
I had my daughter with me while I worked until she was four months old. That was point where she needed more attention and I didn’t like ignoring her. I worked a lot from home and took her into the office once a week.
The downside of taking her to the office was that some co-workers really looked down on it. Who knows the professional and social consequences that I suffered.
With my first child, I had a nanny and I worked from home, so I was able to float in and out, nursing and visiting as I could and wanted to. That was the perfect arrangement.
After having these flexible arrangements, I had a job going into the office 5 days a week and working late. I felt like a much better, connected parent with the flexibility.
Rachel | January 8th, 2009 at 3:36 pm
I am currently pregnant with my first baby. I have a job managing a storage facility. I live on my job site and my front door is literally 2 steps from the office. I am the only employee in the office when I work. My boss has told me that I can bring my baby to work a day or two per week. I am still deciding if I want to try this or not. I work 45+ hrs and go to school full time. I want to spend as much time with my new baby as possible. On a typical day at the office I will get 10 or so customers in to pay a bill. It takes 2 minutes tops unless they are chatty (normally I encourage this because my job is so boring). I also rent a unit to a new customer about once every other day. It takes about 15 minutes to complete this and process the paperwork. I doubt that having my baby in the office would be a problem most of the time. If I have something to do outside it can generally wait until the next day. My only concern is that I occasionally have to go out and show a new customer the unit before they rent it. If that is the case I would have to take my baby with me. I am not due until June and in that weather it won’t be too difficult to run right out and then back in. However, when it gets cold and I have to bundle up the baby, I think customers might become impatient or see this as unprofessional. There is also the possibility of the baby crying over a wet diaper while I am working with that new customer for 15 minutes. If someone only needs me for a minute to take a payment then it would be fine. However I am unsure how I would handle trying to help that new customer moving in with a crying baby in the background for 10 minutes. I guess my decision on this will be based on my baby and his/her temperament. If my child is very fussy or colicky then I may only do this as a last resort, however if he/she is very easy then I might do it more often. My boss is fine with it. I love the idea (hopefully I will like the reality too). I don’t want my Mom or my In Laws raising our baby. I feel like they already say too much. My husband loves the thought of it and since I plan to breastfeed I can see this working out somewhat better than having to pump and transport all that to grandmas house 5 days per week. I see tons of advantages and only 1 true disadvantage. That disadvantage being that it will be difficult to make sure everyone gets adequate attention. My boss isn’t worried about it and so I guess that should tell me something. When my child gets a little older (walking age) I might higher someone to watch the baby at my place a few days per week, so I can randomly drop by and see that things are okay. I live 5 seconds from home literally.
Katherine | December 9th, 2010 at 4:42 pm