The Work It, Mom! Blog
with Nataly
Hi, I am Nataly and I am the co-founder of Work It, Mom!
I write the daily Work It, Mom! Blog where I talk about issues affecting working moms, goings on in our Work It, Mom! community, new site features, updates,and contests. I also share my own juggle between work and family and love to see members jump in with comments. Come and visit often!
Nataly's profile on Work It, Mom!
Since my daughter was born a little more than five years ago I’ve only had one work schedule — full-time. It’s meant slightly different things at the different companies where I worked, but in general I got to work at about 8:30am and came home around 6pm. I’ve gotten used to the fact that most days I also have a second work shift, that starts after my daughter is asleep. One of my colleagues, a working dad, calls it the working parents shift — most of us are online, finishing up the work we left undone when we rushed out the door as early as possible to get home to see our kids. I can’t say I enjoy the second shift, but I do appreciate being able to leave early enough to spend time with my daughter after work, so I just deal with it. (I can deal with it and complain at the same time, right?)
Working full-time while being a parent is hard. As much as I try to make it otherwise, we rush through our mornings and evenings trying to get everything done while also grabbing whatever time we have to spend with each other. I haven’t figured out how to make dinner in the very short time I have after coming home from work, so I end up cooking late at night, for the next day — an OK, but less than ideal situation. Doctor’s appointments, parent-teacher conferences, and even trips to the grocery store require extra juggling, although my husband and I definitely lucked out with fairly family-friendly employers, who seem fine with our endless coming in late or leaving early. Working full-time also means getting up at 5am if I want to squeeze in some exercise and leaving all the chores and shopping for the weekends, which cuts down on our family time and which, frankly, I hate.
For a long time I thought that if I could just work part-time, life would be a lot easier. I could have dedicated time to use for doctor’s appointments, cooking dinner, getting chores done, and so on, and dedicated time to work. But the more moms I meet who work part-time, the more I wonder whether part-time is really the ideal working mom schedule. The most common thing I hear is that working part-time doesn’t usually involve less work, just less pay for basically the same amount of work, with perhaps more of it getting done at home. Many friends have also told me that working part-time is killing their prospects for career advancement — definitely not a good thing.
One mom I know works full time but has a compressed week schedule — she works 8-6pm four days a week. She did tell me that she thinks this might be the best alternative. Sure, her four working days are tough and long and she doesn’t get to see her kids much, but she has a three-day weekend every week. She uses one of those off days for chores, cooking, and general get-stuff-done time, and then has more times on the weekends to just chill with her husband and son. From a distance, this does seem like a great option, although I’m pretty sure it’s not offered by too many employers (yet).
Whatever schedule you have, being a working parent requires tons of juggling and running around and stressing and living a hectic life. But I wonder: What do you think is the best working schedule for parents? If you could choose, what would it be for you?
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If i were to choose, i’d win the lotto and not have to work at all.
Whatever the choice, it depends on the individual, what works for them. each choice has its flaws. Sometimes I think these working mom blogs make too much fuss about work-life juggle. (Nataly, you know i love reading your blog, please don’t get me wrong). But sometimes i feel like, many of the working mom blogs just make such a big fuss, constantly unhappy about something and wondering what is better.
It is what it is. We, working moms, have it good in USA. Really it’s amazing, everything we have available to us.
Didn’t Kristin D. wrote an amazing blog post, on her reaction to the movie, Slumdog Millionaire.
vera babayeva | July 12th, 2009 at 9:24 pm
Yep, this is totally individual and it changes over time. Right now my perfect schedule is the one I am on: work from about 9-5 in my home office, then hang out with my kids from 5-9, then work 3 or more hours after they go to sleep. Cut it down to a few hours Saturday (while they sleep), and work again on Sunday while they have quality time with their aunts. I like this schedule because I am feeding them 2 of their 3 main meals, I get time to teach them and enjoy them, yet I am also able to focus pretty well on work during work hours (and sneak in a little time on the internet). And they get to enjoy the attentions of multiple doting caregivers.
SKL | July 13th, 2009 at 9:04 am
I don’t have the perfect work schedule now, that’s all I know. I’m feeling fried with number 2 on the way. I can’t find flexible child care that would allow me to only pay for four days to cut back, and I can’t stay home. We need our government to subsudize early education so working families get a break and teachers get a fair salary.
Colleen | July 13th, 2009 at 9:42 am
This is an ongoing debate that I have with myself. I agree with your point on part-time work really meaning part-time pay with full-time workload. That hardly sounds fair.
I’ve always worked full-time but we’ve been fortunate enough to have my husband as a stay-at-home parent. Not only is one of us home with the children each day, hopefully providing more loving, attentive care than most day care facilities, but he also gets most of our errands, shopping & housework done during the week. I’ve been pretty spoiled with having our weekends free to have fun and enjoy our time together.
It does mean some sacrifices to live on one salary, but we feel it’s worth it. It really comes down to each family situation - what works for us wouldn’t work for many of our friends.
Gina | July 13th, 2009 at 10:17 am
My own mom did a 4 day week but instead of taking off Friday or Monday, she chose Wednesdays. Her rationale when I asked her about it (now that I am a working mom) was: everything is open Wednesday (to have service people come in, or to run errands, doctor appts, etc.) and that is not always true on Friday or Monday and, her favorite reason, she never had to spend more than two consecutive days at work.
Mich | July 13th, 2009 at 1:25 pm
Not all part time jobs are created equal. If by part-time you mean 32 or 35 hours a week, it’s not surprising that it would stretch into trying to do full-time amount of work in less hours.
Personally, I’m extremely happy working 20 hours per week, 5 days a week from 1-5pm, from home. I have mornings free to take my son to classes and playdates and doctor’s appointments and to do the household shopping. I have evenings free to spend more time with my son and husband. I consider this to be the perfect schedule. Yes, there is a career tradeoff in that I am not advancing up the ladder, but all choices have tradeoffs — there is no free lunch.
SoftwareMom | July 14th, 2009 at 7:04 pm
I find that it is easier to work when I have my son in bed for the night, I can pay attention to what I am doing and writing. Otherwise I am not able to pay attention which unfortunately meand I may not get the vistiors to my site.
Shannon | July 14th, 2009 at 10:31 pm
I love my schedule and its my favorite thing about my job. I work 9-4:30 (used to be 9-5 but my sons preschool closes at 5pm). I offered to come in at 8:30 but my boss said to just cut my lunch down to 1/2 hour and I could still come in at 9. I still get paid full time hours, which I love.
Oceans Mom | July 15th, 2009 at 10:01 am
I work from 8-4, live 20 minutes (walking) away from my work. My daughter’s day care is 10 minutes from work… Again walking distance. I generally have lunch at my desk, so that i can leave by 4, and then be with my daughter from 4:30 to 8:30. I get a full evening to play with her, take her to the park, swim time etc.
For chores, my husband will do the grocery shopping, and we both try to finish off all household chores on weekdays after she sleeps, so that we have the weekend to go out and have family time.
It works for us.
I really wish, i could have 4 days longer work hours, so that i can enjoy three days of fun with my daughter! But i guess, grass is greener on the other side.
But yes, having working lunches, and not being able to socialise much at work, in my field is a little career inhibiting, but its a choice i have made. As someone said: no Free lunches
GNSD | July 15th, 2009 at 11:20 am
I work from 6:30 am to 3 pm and am usually home by 4 pm. I get up at 4 am, Amelie goes to bed at 8 pm.
So, I’m in the office for 9 hours (I don’t take lunch), in the car for a total of 1.5 hours daily, with the family for about 4 hours and then my own second shift starts as soon as I get her to bed.
I normally get to bed around 11 pm - midnight. It’s a 20 hour day but I would rather have that 4 hours of family time than 2 or none.
Phe | July 15th, 2009 at 1:36 pm
The schedule I’m currently doing is 4 day work week in the office -45 min commute (only paid 80% full time) with Wed off. The challenge is even though I’m only getting paid for 32 hours I’m definitely working 40 plus hours. On my off day- Wed- I’m often checking e-mail, going to Fed ex- having a conference call. It’s not ideal BUT the tradeoff is that I still can go to the kids school on Wed, get errands done and have weekends to really enjoy family time. The 4 day week has also kept me on track for career advancement and I’m grateful my company has that option. I tried the 3 day work week and that was impossible- too hard to cram everything in and be a manager in 3 days.
kirsten | July 15th, 2009 at 7:02 pm
The 9 to 5 thing works best for me, but that’s more because of school schedules than anything else. Part-time wouldn’t work for me mainly because of the money. There’s no advancement issue for me, because I’m pretty close to as far up the ladder as I want to go.
I would like to have more time to do things w/ my children, but I’m working on doing more chores on week nights to free up my week-ends more for fun things. It’s more a matter of discipline for me. I think if I can get a regular routine going that I’ll find that I have the time I’m wanting.
Tami | July 15th, 2009 at 9:41 pm
I think the best full-time schedule I’ve had was in a previous job, when I was allowed to work from home 2 days a week. I still took the kids to daycare, but on those days I started at 7, finished my work by 3, and managed to do a load of laundry or prep dinner while I was working. Then I had a nice long afternoon/evening to spend playing with the kids. I think I even took them to the library once or twice.
Aside from that, I think a teacher’s schedule would be pretty perfect. Even though there’s still LOTS of after-bedtime work grading papers.
Lee | July 16th, 2009 at 10:25 am
My perfect work schedule will be 8 to 2 pm; too bad my employer does not offer part time. My current schedule 8 to 4.30 pm works well though. I have very minimal commute and kids’ daycare and school are close by too. Still the days I skip lunch and get home by 4, I feel like I won a big prize of that extra hour with them!
Lakshmi | July 17th, 2009 at 8:07 am