The Work It, Mom! Blog
with Nataly
Hi, I am Nataly and I am the co-founder of Work It, Mom!
I write the daily Work It, Mom! Blog where I talk about issues affecting working moms, goings on in our Work It, Mom! community, new site features, updates,and contests. I also share my own juggle between work and family and love to see members jump in with comments. Come and visit often!
Nataly's profile on Work It, Mom!
Motherhood has changed me in many ways, but one thing it’s certainly done is increase the dark circles under my eyes. I know, I know, it’s a small price to pay for the joy my daughter brings me, but I can’t say that I love the tired-exhausted look they give me in the morning. So after lots of trial-and-error I’ve found a great concealer that I love and I never leave the house without it.
In addition to the concealer, I usually put on some mascara and blush. If I’m really getting serious, I’ll put on the Laura Mercier tinted moisturizer, which makes my face look like I’ve been tanning in my back yard instead of staying up late catching up on work the night before. I might throw on some lipstick later in the day, but most of the time, that’s my entire makeup routine, which I think is pretty quick and light.
For me, putting on a little makeup in the morning is a good way to pick myself up and get ready for the day. If I look better, I feel better, period. So I find it surprising when I hear from other moms that since they’ve had kids they’ve stopped wearing makeup. Some say they don’t have the time, which I find hard to believe, but others simply say that they’ve stopped caring as much.
I think that’s really sad. Not the makeup part but the part of moms not investing time in themselves. Believe me, I know how hard this is. You know this manicure I was going to get a few weekends ago? Didn’t make it because it was a sunny day and I ended up playing with my daughter in the backyard instead. But I think we have to be reminded to not give up on ourselves as women after we become moms, to remember that it’s important to feel good and take care of ourselves, whether it means putting on a little concealer, getting to the gym, or taking an afternoon off.
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I would ask why some women choose to wear make-up in the first place. Is it to feel that much more beautiful or impactful, or is it to hide what they consider flaws, to conform to their peer group, to appear to be what they are not? Personally I think it is more sad that many women wear make-up to disguise their true selves, than that some of these women choose to stop doing so once they have kids.
I have always gone to work without make-up; in fact, there have only been a few times when I’ve worn a little lipstick at the strong urging of friends. I do not see a reason to artificially alter my appearance, and no, I’m not a born model. I just don’t believe that physical enhancements are the right way to bolster my chances at success. My only exceptions are matters of health (including diet and products to improve complexion).
I also think most mothers have a natural glow that is more attractive than whatever L’oreal could do for them.
I agree with trying to do something for yourself as a mom, but I don’t agree with many about how high a priority this needs to be. When we become moms, we need to reinvent ourselves and find ways to fit a bit of self-interest into our new reality. Maybe we decide that make-up is a really low priority compared to making a healthy salad or hiking with our kids. I don’t see that as “sad” in any way.
SKL | August 24th, 2009 at 9:42 am
Heck no, I still wear makeup! I am a creative sort trapped in a conservative shell. Makeup, manicures and pedicures is where I express myself! I like to try different color polishes, lip glosses, etc. I like to play with eye pencils. I don’t do it because I think there is something I need to hide or something wrong with me. It is very much a grown up version of a kid getting a new box of paints or crayons and a coloring book (which in this case is my face and nails).
Also, I let my kids pick out the colors. I have to say they are pretty spot on with things I like too!
@SKL: Why so serious????
HP | August 24th, 2009 at 11:34 am
I LOVE makeup. It’s fun and I totally agree with you Nataly that if you look good, you feel good. EVERYONE can use a little makeup.
A little goes a long way too.
But I don’t judge others if they choose not to wear any. I know I personally feel better with a little bit. That goes the other way too. People who choose not to wear should not judge the the ones that do. It is not such a serious thing. I call makeup…warpaint. LOL.
sk | August 24th, 2009 at 12:30 pm
I think a good question is why some people think Moms need to totally ignore and take away from themselves to be good parents and feel others should do the same thing. It really is okay to take time away from yourself to get a manicure, read a book, put on makeup or do something that makes you feel good, refreshes and recharges you, and helps you be a better, more attentive parent.
Hair shirts and self floggings are not necessary…
HP | August 24th, 2009 at 1:22 pm
I completely agree- That we must take care of ourselves. If we are fit and happy only then can we share this happiness with others.
It cheers me up, makes me feel good.. and more importantly, i feel happy.
There are times( once a quarter or so!)that i would pick up my daughter 30 minutes later than usual from her day care.. just so that i can get my eyebrows done!
My self-pampering is mostly after her sleep time or when hubby is home with her and i can head out for some girly girl time
@SKL: By doing makeup, one is not hiding their flaws.. but only enhancing there assets. To each their own!
I am myself not a big make up person. But the liner and the chapstick are life savers for me.
GNSD | August 24th, 2009 at 1:44 pm
Just to clarify, I don’t judge women who wear make-up. I just felt the article was judgmental against moms who don’t, and that reflects one-dimensional thinking. A choice not to wear make-up is not a symptom of self-neglect. It’s just a choice, period. A choice to wear make-up is not always a symptom of low self-esteem, but sometimes it is. Sometimes people just do it because they like it, and I say, more power to them. Just let’s not make assumptions based on appearances - or apply our own personal priorities in judging others.
SKL | August 24th, 2009 at 2:53 pm
well I have to say there are times on the weekend when Im just lounging I say screw the make up. But most days i wake up and put the whole face on Foundation, powder, Light shade eyeshadow eyeliner, blush and mascara and usually some colored gloss. My husband actually gets quite cranky if i leave the house with out makeup and I can never forget the lipstick. I try for the most part to keep it up. I have let some things go. I don’t get my acrylic nails or pedicures done its just too costly and as a nanny they just get in the way and painfully break. I dye my own hair ( my husband helps ) I cut my husbands hair so its team work.
My husbands one complaint Is my hair is constantly in a pony tail. Unless we are going out on a date or to church Its just easier and less annoying up and out of my face. I try to get cute hair things so it looks a lil cuter
Thats my deal
CoolNanny | August 25th, 2009 at 1:42 pm
I put on make up for work - I just feel more put together and professional when I have make up on (foundation, blush, eye liner, mascara, lip gloss). On the weekend sometimes I go without makeup to give my skin a rest, or go with just lip gloss and some mascara.
But I agree with overall idea of the article - sometimes moms forget to care about themselves and let everything slip because they stopped caring. For me this (not caring about or for myself) translated into slipping physically, health-wise, decreased energy levels and overall satisfaction with life. Once I started focusing on myself the other pieces of the puzzle started coming together as well.
Maria | August 25th, 2009 at 3:19 pm
I’m with you: when I look better I feel better, and putting on a little makeup now and then makes it a little easier whenever I pass by a mirror, crazy hair, stained shirt, yoga pants, and all.
Leah | August 26th, 2009 at 12:23 pm
Totally agree with this post. I find myself at the end of the week wondering why I didn’t work out or read a book. It’s about not losing ourselves and having rich full lives.
And, yes, I wear make up. It does make me feel good and makes me look more put together. We could all go granola I guess and ban make up, but the fact is I get better reaction from people when I have a touch of concealer under my eyes to brighten them up and lipstick on my lips to give some color. Similarly, men who spend time on their appearances (shaving, hair styling, nice wardrobe) get noticed and respected.
Brenda | August 28th, 2009 at 7:45 pm
Mama used to say, ‘Always put your best foot forward, EVEN when you don’t feel like it.”
This is so true — When I look good, I feel good -
Mama used to always say, “Girl, keep yourself ‘up’” -
I am mama - the best I can - At work, I”m always ‘ON’ - makeup, hair, suits and cute shoes - always…. My performance? Cute too… far and beyond most of the time.
I have to admit, to watch beautiful mama’s at work give up, it makes me really, really sad - No make-up, hair frazzled and that ’surprised’ look on their faces is pathetic sometimes — I can see ‘every once in a while’ - but please, not every day I see you on the elevator mama.
Do something! Women that I see in my building who look like, “WHODUNNIT” are such disappointments - Just b/c you are a mama, doesn’t mean that you should give up - and it doesn’t provide room for excuses - Balance it Baby!
Some women work harder at it than others - makeup, hair, charm and poise -
Not to say make-up is a must - but for goodness sakes, wash your face and throw the hair back so we can see your eyes!
And you wonder why you’re passed over for promotions and VIP opportunities - Women and men in my office who PRESENT well, DO well — Some folk may not like that, but it’s real nonetheless. Very real.
At the local Target, however, I’m known for my signature baseball cap and jeans wear with the uneven skin tone - *me w/o makeup* -
I’m not working then - That’s my downtime - Don’t want nobody to see my eyes then…
LARRAH | August 29th, 2009 at 3:59 am