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Hi, I am Nataly and I am the co-founder of Work It, Mom!
I write the daily Work It, Mom! Blog where I talk about issues affecting working moms, goings on in our Work It, Mom! community, new site features, updates,and contests. I also share my own juggle between work and family and love to see members jump in with comments. Come and visit often!
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Our daughter starts kindergarten next week and I am not sure who is more excited and nervous - she or her parents. Last week we received the monthly parent events schedule - orientation, PTO meeting, curriculum review, after school program teacher meeting, etc. We knew that there would be a lot going on during the beginning of the academic year but I couldn’t help but not get annoyed at one thing as I read through the schedule:
Most of these events and meetings take place in the middle of the day.
I’m truly puzzled by why this is the case. It’s not a mystery to anyone that many moms work. And even if the mom doesn’t work (which is the case in about half the families in our neighborhood, according to my unscientific survey) who is to say that the dad doesn’t want to come to these meetings? My husband, for example, is going to attend many of them, for example, and is eager to do it.
So why are parent meetings scheduled for 1pm instead of say, 8am, or 4pm, for example? It seems like a strange disconnect between the school schedule and the working parent schedule, but then, if you have school-aged kids you don’t need me to tell you this. Every study I’ve seen suggests that parental involvement strongly and positively impacts the kids’ academic achievement, so why do schools make it so difficult for working (read = majority) parents to be involved?
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One more frustration to look forward to in a few years I suppose. I have, just for grins, seen stats that range from 64% to 71% “…of Moms work either fulltime or parttime outside the home”.
CV | September 2nd, 2009 at 8:45 am
We just started Kindergarten, too, and this is part of the reason I’ve been down in the dumps for 2 weeks. I can’t attend the things I want to attend. Our school makes a good effort to acknowledge that some of us work (”we’d be happy for our working parents to contribute in other ways” - read: money), but still schedules things during the day. Or - our lunchroom volunteer-thing. I was hoping to do that on my lunch hour, but the time requirement is from 10 am - 12! It’s frustrating.
Lee | September 2nd, 2009 at 2:09 pm
Nataly,
I have more of a question to other moms with children in school than a comment. Do parents never ever complain? Is it such a terrible thing to say “No I cannot come to events that are run during regular business hours”. Would this situation ever change if parents do state their complaints? I have my son starting a “pre-kindergarten” program and even though I think it is in my son’s best interests to attend I’m starting to fear that I might lose my job over the ridiculous schedule that the school has. Are there any successful stores where school events were re-negotiated to the times more acceptable to parents?
Maria | September 3rd, 2009 at 9:51 am
All they have to do is imagine that the attendees will be 95% fathers instead of mothers. Then I will bet you that they would automatically create schedules that are feasible for at least a reasonable % of working parents. Can’t expect to accommodate everyone, but there is a lot of room for improvement.
Someone should make this suggestion to the school “organizers,” and report back what happens. (My kids are too young or I’d try it myself.)
SKL | September 3rd, 2009 at 10:35 am
After dealing with this issue for more than 10 years at multiple schools between 3 children, my take on this is that the scheduling of school meetings, etc in the middle of the day is not going to change.
What I DO think can change is the willingness on the part of employers to give their employees the freedom to attend these activities. I know that I’ve stayed at my company for more than a decade largely because of the flexibility it gives me to balance work and mom duties.
I think more companies should loudly tout this willingness to give flexibility as a tangible benefit of employment. They’ll attract a lot more smart, capable moms that way.
Meredith | September 3rd, 2009 at 12:34 pm
great! one more thing to look forward too! I am stressing out about covering the 8 days of xmas break, 5 spring break, 7 teacher days, 9 early dismissals, not to mention the holidays that I dont automatically have off. Field Trips!
I loved how they put it, 10 hours of volunteer or $17.50 per hour.
plus i figured out that if I work 8-5, I will never, ever see his real teacher face to face. I gritted my teeth and asked to change my hours once again! now I have to ask for time off?! no wonder supervisors think working mothers are not good employees.
cricket | September 3rd, 2009 at 2:34 pm
I have always wonder why they have meetings during the day.As a single mom with two children,I can’t afford to take time off and go to the meetings.I try my best to explain to the teachers and ask for the information to send home.That’s the best most of us working parent can do sometimes.
Vidya | September 3rd, 2009 at 3:08 pm
Just an observation. Our daughter was in private school from pre-K thru 6th, then public school from 7th to graduation.
Our private school put all the parents’ meetings during the day, with exception of the big PTA one 1x/year. Public schools had meetings AFTER school, generally, and orientation was ALWAYS in the evening.
See the pattern? Private school here had a snotty attitude that you (the mother) HAD to be available during the day because they were supposed to be. Public school knew better, because of the diverse social and economic backgrounds. Funny thing was, in the private school, there was a substancial # of working moms too, and they usually missed the meetings, and heard the snide back comments from those who didn’t work. You know the type…”why couldn’t SHE get here during the day? WE got here…”
Again, this was what we faced, and tho daughter is now in college, I hear from other mothers around me that it’s still that way.
Jane | September 3rd, 2009 at 6:23 pm
It makes me tired when most teachers and administrators think that every mom is a sahm!!! It drives me freagin’ nuts!
Just b/c I’m not a room mom, I do pull my faire share at the school - which is private christian school -
Many of the hubby’s are pulling in 6 plus figures - while moms are sipping on the thier 3rd starbucks by 9 am and hanging around planning the next school rummage sale - Come on! Seriously?
Teachers need to utilize working parents more by allowing them the latititude to participate when they can - in the evenings and on weekends - b/c most of us fathers and mothers are NOT pulling 6 plus figures - and in this economy - we are blessed to be working at all anymore!
LARRAH | September 4th, 2009 at 12:40 am
You know Jane, now that you mention it….I saw the same thing (from a child’s eyes). I attended private school from K-8, public for high school. And you’re correct - the private school required volunteer hours (it was a $15 an hour buyout back in the mid 80s), most of which were only available during the day. School advisory met in the afternoon. PTA met in the afternoon. Yada yada yada. My parents BOTH worked to make ends meet and to put me and my sister in that darn school. The class rich bia and her mumsy (in hindsight, I blame her mumsy, not her, for the attitude) snarked at “poor pitiful CV, her mommy doesn’t care about her she’s not here”. My smartarse self replied “well, sorry, we weren’t born rich but my parents don’t want me struggling with the public schools right now”. (our local district was on half-days due to budget cuts and lack of milages)
Fast forward to high school - two of the major considerations with sending me to public vs private (the closest private was 25 minutes away, and by this point, the local schools had had a decent amount of time to recover) was that the private HS required mandatory parent participation hours, again, and that every student was required to participate in at least two extracurricular activities a semester. It was amazing to me at that point that when the school needed volunteers, it was for things in the evening. Meetings for the booster club and PTA were evening events. And so on and so forth.
CV | September 4th, 2009 at 7:30 am
Our local school had only day-based activities until it started a pre-school with before/after care. It was actually pushed for by WAHM moms who wanted kids in school more than 3 hours to accomplish some work but soon was filled to the brim with parents who dropped off at 8am and picked up at 6pm. Enough that they had to open a second class worth.
They then tried they did the next logical step; before/after care. It has been at max capacity every year but the 1st (and that is probably because it was announced only a month before school started and many parents made other arrangements by then).
And things are changing a little. School assemblies are still during the day, but there are only 2 a year and they are announced well ahead of time that if you have some flexibility you can do it. They still have morning “coffee clatch” but they now have evening events as well. Volunteer hours are not mandatory at public school but there are Saturday options (gardening, painting, canvassing) and non-school based (compiling email lists, staffing fundraisers). Schools are getting it, but they’re still hamstrung not only by SAHM visions but by teachers as well. It is contracted in our area that they are only required past 3pm 4x a year; makes it hard to do much “after school” with that reality.
Mich | September 4th, 2009 at 12:16 pm
Oooh…something else to look forward to: will my local school district actually HAVE busses by the time the bumpkin is in school? Several local districts have completely cut out bus service. We don’t exactly have a neighborhood school…can’t walk.
CV | September 11th, 2009 at 7:31 am
I’m a teacher (and full time working Mom). I’d have to say that the reason most are during the day is because teachers do not get paid to host afterschool meetings, functions, etc. They have to fit into their normal day so they can get home to their families.
I understand your frustration though. I feel the same way about Doctor offices’ hours. They don’t open until at least 8 and usually close by 4. No one likes taking sick days unless necessary.
Katie | September 11th, 2009 at 11:18 am