The Work It, Mom! Blog
with Nataly
Hi, I am Nataly and I am the co-founder of Work It, Mom!
I write the daily Work It, Mom! Blog where I talk about issues affecting working moms, goings on in our Work It, Mom! community, new site features, updates,and contests. I also share my own juggle between work and family and love to see members jump in with comments. Come and visit often!
Nataly's profile on Work It, Mom!
A friend recently told me that she is afraid to get a promotion at work. There are rumors of a reorg in her group and about her getting a promotion and instead of being excited, she is terrified. She already works a lot and her job is fairly intense; she is also a mom to a toddler. She told me that this promotion is the last thing she needs in her work-life juggle and she would be much happier if she could keep her career in a holding pattern for a while.
I bet there are many working moms out there who feel this way and to be honest with you, at times I do as well. I’m a self-admitted type A overachiever but I’ve seen a definite decline in my ambition since becoming a working mom. The most basic reason for this is simple: Exhaustion. As I’ve written about here, I don’t sleep enough and it’s absolutely affecting how ambitious I am in my career. I am not sure at this point I could come up with a lot more mental and physical energy a big promotion would require.
Another reason is time with my kiddo and husband. I work what I now call a “full-time plus” schedule (I have a full-time job for which I regularly put in 10 hours a day and I run this wonderful Work It, Mom! site and community as well, which is an awesome, but time-consuming job as well.) This doesn’t leave nearly enough time to spend with my family, not to mention my friends, and I’d hate to reduce it even further.
But it’s tricky. I really like not just working, but my job and what I do. It’s a big part of who I am. I know that staying in the same place in your career for too long is not a great way to keep it interesting or valuable and I’d hate to do that to myself. And just to be really honest here, promotions and growth at work mean more money, which you won’t find me saying no to.
So that’s the conundrum and I’d love to hear your thoughts on it. Are you someone who has chosen to be on the so-called mommy track for a while? Do you worry about how it might affect your longer-term career prospects? Or have you not altered your career path in any way since having kids?
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I’ve chosen to change to a different career. For about a year, I tried to cut back on the work hours and such to bond with my kids (who were adopted). But in reality, I have kept a pretty heavy work load all along.
If I had it to do over again, I wouldn’t couch it in terms of going on the “mommy track.” Rather, I’ve challenged myself to be better at prioritizing and staying on task during normal business hours, so a productive career can coexist with effective parenting. I feel that, given the right skills and motivation, I can do 99% of what any leader in my industry can do, and the remainder is the fluff stuff. (If the fluff stuff were necessary for me to be effective, I probably wouldn’t do well in that job anyway, given my personality.)
But if I were still in a career that required a lot of travel (used to travel around 50%, sometimes much more), I would not continue that. Call it Mommy Track or whatever, it just wouldn’t be right for my family.
SKL | September 24th, 2009 at 7:46 pm
I am in a holding pattern, for sure, and yes, I do worry about my long-term career plans/prospects, but….I guess more than anything I believe that I will never look back on my life and wish I had worked more, you know? No one does that. But I do believe I’d wish I’d spent more time enjoying my girls’ childhoods if I missed out on things due to work.
Shannon | September 25th, 2009 at 7:30 am
I cut way back on work when we had kids. We’re lucky in that we can live on one income (Bought our house nine years ago). I’ve worked part-time, or done short-term full-time stints and we’ve traded off so that one of us watches the kids while the other works.
In the accounting field, the only way to move “up” is to get your own clients and then become a partner. It’s not my goal, so I’m happy with just dabbling while the kids are small.
Angella | September 25th, 2009 at 9:00 am
I am on hold as well. I went and furthered my education and professional licesnse status but haven’t done anything as far as moving up in my field. I have seen a few jobs out there that I think “Wow, this would be great and I’d be making double” but then when I think of the flexibility I have now and time that I am allowed to take off, it makes me rethink the whole thing. Money can only buy you so much time and time is more valuable than the money I could make.
Oceans Mom | September 25th, 2009 at 9:07 am
Yes, I deliberately put my career on hold. When I was pregnant there were a lot of stories in the media about women “opting out”, and I remember thinking that just felt right for me. I stayed at home for 2 years, then found a fantastic part-time job in my field, which I did for 2 years. Now I’m pregnant with twins and about to stay home for another 1-2 years, after which I hope to return to the part-time job until the girls are ready for kindergarten.
I was 34 when I had my first child, so had 12 years experience under my belt and already knew I didn’t like working 50+ hour weeks (even without kids). I’m not skilled politically, and so even though I’m very good at being a team leader, without the right mentor and everything lining up just so I don’t think I’d be likely to climb very far up the management ladder. I’ve seen male coworkers who got stuck at the first level of management, so it’s not always about discrimination.
For me, pursuing the corner office is just not worth the tradeoff in terms of stress and time sacrificed. I’m happy that I’ve found a mommy track that works for me. Perhaps someday I’ll find a track that lets me grow more professionally, but that will be in another phase of my life.
SoftwareMom | September 27th, 2009 at 3:49 am
I’m in a holding pattern too. Fortuately, the position I took was on the ladder for upward advancement. My daughter was diagnosed with leukemia in July, though, so rather than moving through this position quickly, I’m choosing to stay until the first phases of her treatment are over. Not sure what this will mean for my career, but for now, family needs to take priority
spacegeek | September 27th, 2009 at 8:00 am
I changed my career after having a second child. At first, right after college, my goal was to climb the corporate ladder to the corner office. After having kids and working in corporate america for five years, I realized that I have other dreams and aspirations, and that I do not want the corner office. Now I am working on my entrepreneurial goals. Hopefully my goals come true and I never have to go back.
vera babayeva | September 27th, 2009 at 7:22 pm
I do wish I could put it in a holding pattern. I’m a young mom who’s stil not sure where my strengths lie, but I know what I enjoy doing. If I could afford to take a break, I would! Thanks for writing about relevant topics for working moms.
CAW | September 28th, 2009 at 9:52 am
I dont’ think I’m in a holding pattern any longer, but I certainly have been before.
I was asked to start a new client relationship because they knew me well and wanted me on the project. After being there 6 months I realized: 1) there was a lot of possible work there; 2) it was going to be a completely consuming role for someone; and 3) that someone couldn’t be me.
Going to my boss to say; here’s everything they need from us and, BTW, I don’t want the job was the hardest conversation of my life. But I was able to hand it off in such a way that the work didn’t suffer and the role has in fact blossomed and expanded in ways I never could have.
More important to me, my daughter has thrived with the additional attention I’ve been able to give her. I was able to segue back into my former position, and a year later, move out of that to a new department where client interaction is less direct and expectations are such that they are easier to fulfill with a non-traditional schedule.
Am I on the “mommy track?” I don’t know, I hate that terminology because it doesn’t take into account mothers who choose to do things another way. And as my daughter has grown out of the critical early-development years I’ve taken on a few more things and am gaining recognition in a new area. To me, that’s what happens to anyone in a career shift.
If the fact that I schedule “late nights” and can’t stay overtime at the drop of a hat means “mommy track”, well, ok, but I really think anyone ought to have that freedom.
Mich | September 28th, 2009 at 12:39 pm
I had my daughter very young. I stayed home for 2 years, and went back to complet my schooling, after which I got the nice corporate gig. I quickly got on the ‘mommy track’ because I was a single parent, and there was no other way to make it work. I chose to make 1/3 of what I could make, so my daughter could be raised by a parent and not baby sitters. I have dedicated the past 11 years prioritizing my parental responsibilities. Now that I am in a soon to be permanent relationship, and have an older child who I have had the privilege of being involved in her life in every way, I am back in school, pursuing a new career. My flexible job makes it possible for me to go to school full time and still be there for my family. I have absolutely no regrets. I figured I woudl still ahve the rest of my life to pursue a career, but I would never be able to reverse the time if I missed out on my child’s growth and development. Also, over time, I have grown alot and I ahve had a chance to discover myself in a different way, and thus I am pursuing a totally different career path. No longer chasing a corner office, but seeking enterpreneurship.
soleil | September 28th, 2009 at 12:53 pm
I am in one of the secure job fields of today which is great but I crave to be at home a lot more than I am. I only work 9-5 but I do things after 5 that also make money. I feel like I am missing out on my son’s childhood. I can always pick up and re-establish where I was career-wise whenever my son grows up and isn’t as interested in spending time with mommy - but I can’t get his baby-years back no matter what I do. I am hoping that in the next couple years when my husband gets a few more pay-increases that I will be able to quit my job and play housewife for awhile before pursuing a career again.
Mrs. Weber | September 29th, 2009 at 9:53 am
About 9 months ago when my second child was 7 months old (first was 26 months) I decided to quit my job for a part-time less demanding job. The full time position I had was one that I anticipated having for a long time. I enjoyed my work in higher education, the projects I was accomplishing and the networks I was making in the public health profession. Shortly after having my first child (later in life) I got a new boss who caused a lot of unnecessary stress. Upon my return I quickly came up with a plan to work 80% but she would not have anything to do with it even though others in the dept were doing it. The job I have now is stress free but doesn’t really contribute to my career potential. All this time I now get to spend with my babies is such a godsend even though it’s demanding. I get to be so much more involved with their development and feel so much closer than when I worked fulltime.. However, I sometimes wonder if this was a smart move and how easy it will be to make my way back in a few years. Will I have to start at the bottom again? Did I give up a part of myself and my goals?
LoriLynn | October 1st, 2009 at 12:45 pm