The Work It, Mom! Blog
with Nataly
Hi, I am Nataly and I am the co-founder of Work It, Mom!
I write the daily Work It, Mom! Blog where I talk about issues affecting working moms, goings on in our Work It, Mom! community, new site features, updates,and contests. I also share my own juggle between work and family and love to see members jump in with comments. Come and visit often!
Nataly's profile on Work It, Mom!
I had worked from home for two years before starting my most recent job last spring. As we’ve talked about here, there are lots of pros and cons to that arrangement, but I was fairly certain that not having to commute to work was a big pro. No traffic frustrations, more productive time to get work done, never having to worry that I would be late getting home and relieving the babysitter on time.
But I have a discovery to share, after now commuting to work for the past six months: A commute can be a very good thing. In fact, I am going to go ahead and say that I love my commute. And here’s why:
Probably the biggest commute benefit is literally having a buffer between work and home. One of the toughest work-life juggling acts for me is separating my home emotions from work and vice versa. I was just reading the blog post over at The Juggle about the emotional spillover that takes place when you get home from a bad day at work. I can confess that I am completely horrible at keeping these at bay — if I have a bad day at work, you bet that it follows me home and spills out as soon as I get there. But I’ve found that a commute does wonders for helping me digest some work emotions before I let them roam free at home. Are they all gone? Absolutely not. But much more so than when I worked from home.
My other reason for loving my commute is that it’s a chance for some “me” time. I know how sad this might sound, but trust me, I’ve heard many working mom friends say the same. Me, my car, my music, no other to-dos or conversations…. ahh, I’ll take it.
Not all commutes are created equal and I’m fully aware that mine is on the more pleasant side: 20-35 minutes (depending on traffic), and most of it on a very beautiful road along the river. I know of a few people who commute more than an hour each way and I can imagine that it can get tiring (not to mention that it takes a huge chunk of time out of their day). So I am curious: Do you enjoy your commute or is it a major hassle in your life?
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Years ago, I began to make a conscientious effort to leave work at work (and conversely, home at home) when I walked out the door. It stemmed from having a husband at the time who couldn’t do it and constantly came home in a foul mood that would last all night - and drive me out the door in search of more peaceful pastures for a while. I just couldn’t stand it. So, why would I want to put my own loved ones in that position?
That being said, my commute is not fun, nor is it relaxing. Although I commute out of the city to the suburbs, it’s still wall to wall traffic in the afternoon when I leave and, I should add, I have a modified work schedule precisely because I got sick of driving 2 hours to go 17 miles years ago. Public transportation is not an option. That would tack another 1.5 hours on and the closest it can get me is 2 miles from my office. Add to that the fact that I’d be late every day by almost 2 hours if I left my home at 4 am and it doesn’t run evenings or weekends when I might need it…well, you see why I’m rather stuck in my car.
I don’t let it get me down though. I focus on getting home safely and try hard to shed the extreme aggravation of the commute itself before i walk through the door.
Phe | November 12th, 2009 at 7:36 am
The one thing I miss about my previous commute (one hour each way) was that decompression time. Listening to NPR or some good music — or calling my mom on the cell for an extended chat — really could be pleasant.
Lee | November 12th, 2009 at 8:13 am
I hear you! I work 6 days a week. 3 days, I work from home; 2 days, I have a 45 minute commute (1 1/2 total); and 1 day, I have a 1 hour commute (2 hour total). Although the commute time on the days that I commute cut into work time and I have to be very, very organized on those days…I LOVE the commute. I listen to music, listen to books, yak with my mom/sister/friend (over the hands-free bluetooth), etc. I decompress and I’m fine when I get home. On the other 3 days, I get a lot more work done, I find I am more harried.
Pat | November 12th, 2009 at 11:59 am
Depending on trains, commute is 30-45 minutes. I am grateful for public transportation because I can really decompress. I don’t need to pay attention to driving, I can read, meditate, do whatever. I just have to remember to get off and switch trains - and if I forget, I can actually double back further up the line (though then it would take the full 45 for certain having to use the bus).
If I need to get work more settled I can type out to do lists for the next day, send preemptory emails, even make calls if needed (though I try not to do that if at all possible).
Mich | November 12th, 2009 at 12:23 pm
I love my commute too! I take that time to think, to pray, to sing… and living in the mountains, my drive is pretty smoothe and quite beautiful (lucky me!!).
But even if it does take 30-45 minutes, I like having that transition between work… and homework!
Frenchie | November 12th, 2009 at 9:49 pm
I am so jealous; I hate my commute. On a normal day my commute will vary from 45-75 minutes one way. My husband does the same commute. It wasn’t bad pre-daughter. We would leave super early to avoid traffic and stay for dinner in the evenings. Now we are trading off pick ups and drop offs and rarely get to do dinner as a family during the week. We have considered daycare near work, but the wait lists are extreme and the cost is much more. Plus I am not sure I want her in the car that long with all the crazy people on the road here. We have made it work so far, but there will be a day when she is there for way too many hours and where we are risking missing the pickup time. We really want to move closer now, but I don’t know how long it will take to sell our house.
StaceyS | November 13th, 2009 at 10:25 am
StaceyS:
I am so sorry to hear about your commute and the difficult situation… I may have a childcare solution that would enable your daughter to be at home with someone that can take her to playdates or school, have dinner ready for you when you come home, help with laundry…
Just click on my name to access my blog and e-mail me… We can set-up a time to chat.
Good luck and best wishes!
Frenchie | November 13th, 2009 at 12:48 pm
I used to enjoy my commute ( a minimum of an hour each way) but it has become such a nightmare. I am in my 1st trimester and am exhausted. I have also started to wonder if the drive is worth it. I took the position with hopes of getting back to “my side of the earth” and I am now wondering if that is ever going to happen. All in all, I feel frustrated but OK. I could not have a job and be begging to commute so I try to keep the compaining to a minimum
joshmother | November 13th, 2009 at 4:39 pm
I love my commute! I have a 20 minute free flowing commute. I think that is the perfect length. Its just enough to decompress but not too long that it cuts into a day significantly. Recently I had a 10 min. commute where I didn’t even have to get on a freeway. I thought that was going to be perfect. Nope. It was horrible. No decompression time. I went from the nagging needs of office workers to two little ones and a dog barely letting me get through the door into the house. I never new what was going on in the world and I was never alone! Now I have 20 minutes to listen to NPR, music or just sit in silence and notice all the little things around me.
Mother's Den | November 15th, 2009 at 10:30 pm
My current 20-min. commute is good and bad. Good in that, by car, I have lots of space, I’m comfortable and warm, no “subway crazies”, and I choose the audio environment. Bad in that I can’t zone out - I’m constantly concentrating on driving (unlike drivers on their cell phones - such a pet peeve!). So any commute has blessings and stresses. I can’t wait until my business is further off the ground. Then I can work from home more.
Miss Stepmom | November 16th, 2009 at 3:44 pm