Believe it or not, one of the reasons I chose to stay home full-time with my firstborn daughter (and subsequently her sister) and not return to my previous job as originally intended was because of my strong commitment and desire to breastfeed exclusively for at least one year. (I nursed my first for 16 months, my second for 19 months.) I know I never would have been able to do it if I had returned to work, not even with a pump.

I had continual major breastfeeding complications with my first baby–obstacle upon obstacle for the first three months straight, just ridiculous barriers like chronic plugged ducts and a painful nipple infection so rare my baby’s pediatrician had never heard of it before–and had I not been able to just power through with all my internal resources directed at overcoming these difficulties, it would have been impossible to keep nursing. In the end, after those first three months (or so), nursing became the most fulfilling, rewarding experience I could have imagined, and I am deeply thankful that I didn’t choose to give up nursing nor was forced by work circumstances to give up nursing. It was worth it a million times over, but the workplace would never have been supportive enough for me to persevere.

I took 8 weeks off work for my first born daughter and managed to breast feed her for 10 months. I took 6 weeks off for my second daughter and breast fed her for 15 months. I think those initial weeks are crucial to getting the pattern of breastfeeding going but at least for me, my time at home with my babies did not affect the length time I chose to breastfeed. I think it mostly comes down to Mom’s desire to breastfeed. Women who I know who wanted to make it work, usually did it. But those that were less devoted, for whatever reason and making no judgement call about their decision, did not. I had mastitis 7 times with my second daughter and spent several sessions crying with my lactation consultant, but I was 100% determined to breastfeed my child. That was my choice and I did not let my employer get in the way. I was not given special time to pump, I just took it. I must say that I did have my own office and I think this definitely helped my situation, however I would have done it in a bathroom stall (and in fact did at times I was interviewing for new jobs around the country) if I that was my only option.

I was not exclusive. I tried pumping, but pumping in a bathroom just could never do it for me. So she became one of those breastfed, but not exclusively, for a year.
If I worked then where I work now, it may have been easier. Here there are rooms available for pumping but you get whatever slot is currently open. Not hearing “flush” or people saying “what’s that noise” or having the stall door rattled would probably have helped on the pumping end.
But on the other hand, there was one baby who was always starving at our daycare, mom was not pumping enough to sustain him but refused to supplement. I think he would have thought a little formula was a whole lot better than nothing!

People don’t seem to realize that if we had mandatory paid leave, we’d be paying for it - and paying other people to administer it.

If you want to stay home longer, work with your husband (or just your own ingenuity) to sock away enough money to take a longer leave. You can do this because you pay lower taxes (at the moment, anyway) than the people in those “wonderful, advanced” countries where they are paying some entity a margin to pay them to take time off work.

And if you haven’t chosen to save the money but rather spent it on something you wanted, be happy that you had that choice. And also, be happy that you have the choice to go back to work and keep earning a higher after-tax income if you want / need to. And finally, be happy that you had the choice to stay in school long enough to make more than a living wage; and that if you chose to do so, you aren’t being forced to provide still more subsidies to those who did not. And that if you chose not to study as hard, that you had a good time following your non-material dreams. Americans need to get back to owning their choices.

Actually I do “realize” that we would be paying for it…I’m well aware of how that works. I’m still of the strong opinion that this should be adopted in our country as well. I am willing to pay the taxes for it for my own benefit and the benefit of others. I am in complete ownership of my choices. This has nothing to do with my resentment regarding our government’s failure to provide what I feel to be are necessary rights in one of the wealthiest countries in world. So, I guess, yes, when it comes to things like healthcare, maternity leave and education…I do believe those “wonderful, advanced” countries have the right idea. I think it’s awful to attack someone’s views in this way. I expressed an opinion about the topic. You used this as a forum to attack my opinion, which seems to be in really bad form. I use my right to vote to try and make changes I’d like to see. Maybe you could do the same and not reply to my comment as if I am an uneducated idiot who doesn’t understand public policy and the ways of the world.

Tina, it’s nothing personal; I wasn’t responding to your post in particular. I’ve been visiting this site for a long time, and this is a recurring theme here. If I had a dollar for every time someone on this site complained about our country being the worst in the civilized world for working mothers, I would be able to afford a couple more maternity leaves. I just thought it was time to remind people that accommodations for working moms are only “benefits” for some families - generally those who have already put forth the least effort toward their career and toward the greater good. For the rest of us, they are net costs. Many of the people saying “it would have been nice to have this accommodation” are the same people who could better afford those things just by saving the money they would otherwise pay in taxes. It reminds me of people who say “I like having excess money withheld from my paycheck, because I like receiving the big tax refund the following year.” They could be investing that money at interest (or paying down their debt), but they’d rather let the government hold their money for them until they need it (and in the case of entitlements, the government keeps a chunk of it for inefficient administration). Meanwhile, people are encouraged to be less and less proactive about their own lives. To me, that is sad.

(I’d like to know if SKL is a man or a woman… And I’d like to know what the annual income of people posting here…)

It’s absolutely ridiculous that everywhere you look, everyone is advocating breast-feeding, but for families where both parents work, breast-feeding for 6 months is really not an option. Do you want to keep paying your mortgage? Do you want to have quality time for your family?

I’m a professor in the biological sciences working at a prestigious medical school, and I make above-average income. My wife is a RN working at the top-ranking cancer institute. Still, with how expensive everything has become in this country, my wife and I can’t afford to just have one income and have a decent living. We have worked very hard to be well-educated and have stable jobs, and I don’t believe we have to live in sub-par living conditions to have and take care of our children.

Don’t forget that in the last generation, it is the husbands that worked, while the wife stayed home to take care of the kids. That was how my parents were like. That was, and is still, the ideal scenario. I wish that I could make enough money so that my wife could breast-feed our kids until they were 1-year-old. It seems only right, or else only the rich (who can afford it) and the really poor (who depend on government handouts) in this country can have their kids breast-fed.

Lastly, I think that people have good reasons for complaining that the greedy corporations are preventing women from breast-feeding. Our parents’ generation was able to get a good life with one parent working, and the majority of Americans need to have both parents work (with sometimes multiple jobs) to get by. I personally suspect that, although the entry of women into the workforce was initiated by a drive for equality, corporations took advantage of additional workers and drove down the everyone’s pay for the sake of profitability. This is what corporations do: cut down material and labor cost (by relocating factories and sending jobs overseas, all the while continuing to drain the American consumers of their decreasing wealth and promoting accumulation of debt). How many times have we heard that corporate mantra that domestic consumer spending accounts for most of our economic growth? Now, who can’t have mothers stay at home and have their kids be breast-fed to have better IQ’s? The children of hard-working middle-class families.