Last week my daughter’s summer vacation officially began. School was out but because they’d used fewer snow days than estimated, it was out earlier than camps in our area were starting. Which meant some fun lazy days for her and some hectic childcare schedules and arrangements for us. On one of the days, I stayed home with her in the morning and we spent a few hours chilling in the shaded back yard, she shuttling between the swings, the sandbox, the bubbles and many fun snacks we took outside and me… well, I spent the few hours shifting my attention from her to my iPhone.

I really do wish that I could have taken the morning entirely and completely off but because of a number of factors, there were some burning emails to answer. (Over the years I’ve learned to differentiate between truly “burning” and just routine, and these were closer to the former, for sure.) I told my daughter that I was going to have to do a little work so she was totally fine with this, but I’m pretty sure that’s because she is used to my iPhone being a full member of our family during weekdays. I am grateful that I work at a company where flexibility is part of the working reality — I can come in late, leave early, or work from home if I need to. But this doesn’t mean that the work stops and my iPhone is how I get it done while I’m not in the office.

According to a recent study, when parents split their attention between family and texting or emailing, kids get upset. Especially if this happens at sporting events, meal times or pick ups from activities or school, as it turns out. You know what I thought when I read this? I completely get it. If my mom was constantly looking down at her phone while she was supposed to be watching me during my tennis when I was in school, I might get upset.

My husband and I are fairly good about not having our phones with us during mealtimes or when we’re immersed in some family activity together (say, playing a game). But the reality is that it’s just not possible for us to get home around 6pm every day during the week (one of us is always here by then), leave early for piano practice, or go in late after we read to our daughter’s class or help out in art and not check or write work emails when we’re out of the office. It’s our phones (iPhone for me, Blackberry for my husband) are the connectors that make our work flexibility possible at all.

Do you find yourself checking work email endlessly when you’re at home? Do you have rules about when you put your phone/laptop away for good?

 

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