The Work It, Mom! Blog
with Nataly
Hi, I am Nataly and I am the co-founder of Work It, Mom!
I write the daily Work It, Mom! Blog where I talk about issues affecting working moms, goings on in our Work It, Mom! community, new site features, updates,and contests. I also share my own juggle between work and family and love to see members jump in with comments. Come and visit often!
Nataly's profile on Work It, Mom!
I’ve been a working mom for almost seven years now (gulp!) so I know that the whole work-life balance thing is a myth (and a bad one, at that). It’s not about balance, it’s about trade-offs and juggling and letting some balls fall so that you can juggle the others without losing your sanity. But still, I find myself trying to figure out how to make life a little less crazy (without actually aiming for that unachievable balance) and I hear myself complaining to friends about having too much to get done and not sleeping enough to do it all with a clear head.
Yesterday was Saturday and on Saturdays my dad comes in the morning to take our daughter over to my parents’ house for breakfast and then bring her to her dance class. It’s one of the amazing perks for which we moved to be close to family — we get little breaks and our kiddo gets to hang with her grandparents. Everyone wins. My usual routine for the few kiddo-free hours on Saturday morning is to get the cooking and shopping list ready for the week, catch up on a little work, and grab a coffee with my husband. But yesterday I was totally beat from a crazy week at work so instead of getting all the productive stuff done, I just went to the coffee shop, bought a huge latte and settled in to drink and while reading an awesome book I’ve just picked up. For an hour, that is all I did.
When my husband came to join me later it was like I’d emerged from some completely awesome stress-free hiding place. I’d managed to not multi-task or multi-think and just become engrossed in my book and enjoy the full-fat (as opposed to my usual skim) latte, which I’d sprinkled with enough cocoa powder to cover the top entirely. We hung out for a bit then got back on our usual Saturday schedule of doing stuff and seeing friends and running around with our daughter. (I did my weekly cooking menu and shopping list in the car on the way to pick up our kiddo.)
I learned something from my hour in the cafe. I’m not sure how to have less stuff on my plate (work, family, cooking, cleaning, organizing, etc.) but I know how to keep my sanity better as I juggle it: An hour doing something I completely and utterly enjoy. Sure, this idea of “me” time is not entirely new to me but I tend to spend “me” time doing things like getting some exercise or catching up on my to-do list. That stuff helps but it’s so not the same as indulging in an hour of latte + book + not multi-thinking about all the other stuff I have to do. I highly recommend it.
What’s your favorite work-life craziness survival tip? How do you completely disconnect and recharge?
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Luckily for me, I like cleaning and reorganizing. So when I get a chance and need a break from the usual grind, that’s what I do. Clean up an area of the house, or go through a drawer or shelf, getting rid of stuff that nobody will ever use, setting aside donable items, and organizing the rest. Doing small maintenance tasks so they don’t turn into big problems. My only issue is that I can get carried away. It feels so good to get one shelf cleared, why not do the whole cabinet? Oh yeah, because I’m supposed to be working.
SKL | February 28th, 2011 at 1:09 pm
I completely agree with you on having to find some time for yourself. I’m also a working mom with one child, busy with after school activities. I take time out to exercise and luckily I have found my passion in squash.
K5 Learning | February 28th, 2011 at 2:53 pm
Enjoyed this article…I am a new mom and tend to spend free time doing stuff that ‘needs’ to get done, rather than spending it on what I ‘want’ to do. I just headed back to work recently and the weekend before was spent on something that I love to do- lay out in the sun with one of my favorite magazines. Yes, it’s not a completely foreign idea, but for me it was the perfect escape. It was a few hours that I was totally engrossed in something and did not think about all the things that I have to get done.
P.S.: I am sharing this article on my Facebook page
Lesly | February 28th, 2011 at 5:33 pm
I agree that taking a little “me” time periodically is great, but I always feel like I’m having to trade in something important for it! Its either time with my daughter that I lose, the dishes don’t get done, dinner is late or not as healthy/balanced as it should be… and the things that don’t get done are still waiting for me after I put my daughter to bed. Or the next day. Or the day after. I just get buried if I take that “me” time to read or do something I love. I make lists and prioritize what I need to get done, but I feel like the only way I can stay on top of that list is to not stop. Suggestions?
Laura K | February 28th, 2011 at 11:27 pm
I have just recently rediscovered pleasure reading…my “me” time is a bit of a hybrid: Early mornings when my youngest (2yo) is up but the rest of the house is sleeping. I give the little one his milk and (gasp!) put in a Backyardigans video…he sits on my lap an enjoys a slow transition to morning while I read on my Kindle (best invention EVER!) At the end of the episode, we’re both ready to get on with our day!
Colleen | March 1st, 2011 at 1:29 pm
I used to be a crazed mom. Every time I sat down I’d always think of something else I should be doing. When I started working from home this got even worse because my job was always there waiting for me. Then I had my first panic attack and, after confirming that I did not in fact just have a heart or asthma attack, my doctor told me I needed to relax. The laundry still needed doing, my kids needed transporting, my work needed finishing, meals needed cooking. Exactly where was I supposed to siphon off me time? What I did: Instead of sitting with all the other crazed mommies at dance, gymnastics, and soccer practices, I took a book and went off to sit on my own. To enter another world and detox if you will. It worked then, and still works now!!!
Wendy S. Marcus | March 2nd, 2011 at 3:01 pm
My best disconnect and recharge activity is doing anything outside the house without hubby and kids in tow. Even if it’s grocery shopping. I feel productive, can stop to do what I want to do and I can think straight without a constant barrage of distractions for a time. Of course, ideally in a “perfect” world where I could stop time and really take a nice chunk of “me” time, I’d get away for an hour or two (or a whole day, gasp) and just sit, think, process, get out into nature, take pictures and just meander.
@Laura. Sometimes a little “me” time can be combined with other things we “have” to do or don’t want to compromise on doing. For instance doing something with your daughter that you also love to do (and recharges you), like a Saturday morning coffee/hot cocoa and pastry run just the two of you OR washing those dishes while watching some TV/listening to a audio book. And in terms of getting ahead on your lists, just make sure you’re doing the absolute top 3 (or 5) things you need to do that day. If your list is ongoing and is 10 items long, you’re more likely to discourage yourself each and everyday. That’s what I’ve found and heard from others too.
@Wendy, I love using GTD (Getting Things Done) to help me from having those “lingering” thoughts of things I needed to do. I do a “mind dump” every month and it really helps clear the brain. Even if I don’t get every item that I think of “done”, I know where they are (on one sorted list) and I can strategically pick out those items that “really” needed to be done. Also, I had a talk with my husband and delegated items that really I didn’t need to be doing. (Now, he’ll do all the checkbook balancing/bills, dishes and 75% of the dinners… so that I could work more.)
Gil | March 2nd, 2011 at 7:45 pm
Yesterday I found myself going into one of our spare bedrooms and shutting the door for a good hour. I found it very relieving to just sit there, listen to my ipod all while sipping some great tea (chamomile+root ginger+slice of lemon brought to a boil)!
MD | March 3rd, 2011 at 4:21 pm