I might be opening a can of worms here, but I think it’s an interesting topic that we rarely talk about. In a conversation with a friend today I mentioned another working mom who somehow has managed to have an unbelievably successful career, two kids, oh, and she looks really great. I told my friend that I have no idea how moms with multiple kids pull off something like this. Here I am, a mom of just one child, with a relatively demanding career and a somewhat helpful husband, and on most days, I am hardly holding it all together.
“Well, money can solved a lot of issues,” my friend said, “you can outsource things like cooking and cleaning and errand running and have a lot of childcare help as well.”
So this got me thinking — has money had an influence in how many kids your family has decided to have? For us, it plays a role. Not in the “we want to spoil our daughter rotten so we don’t want more kids” sense but in the sense that both my husband and I are conscious of the fact that at the moment, we’re teetering on the very fine edge of sanity. If we have another child and can’t afford more help, it might just push us over the edge.
But that’s just us — I know plenty of families who have as demanding careers as us, multiple children and not much more help and they are doing just fine (fine in that hectic work-life juggle sense, but fine). We all have different thresholds for handling stress and chaos, and admittedly, mine is fairly low.
Deciding how many kids to have is complex, whether you have one child, two kids or 18, like the Duggar family that will never cease to amaze me. But I feel like saying that money plays a role in the decision or that I worry about losing my mind if I have more kids is often viewed as callous and selfish. (Just look at some of the comments on my only child post if you need some evidence.)
By the way, you know my friend, with whom I was having this conversation? She has a great career and three kids and while I don’t dig into friends’ financial situations I don’t think she’s ever had full-time help.
Has money played a role in how many kids you’ve decided to have? If you had more money, would you have more kids?