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with Nataly
Hi, I am Nataly and I am the co-founder of Work It, Mom!
I write the daily Work It, Mom! Blog where I talk about issues affecting working moms, goings on in our Work It, Mom! community, new site features, updates,and contests. I also share my own juggle between work and family and love to see members jump in with comments. Come and visit often!
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Our daughter is about to turn five (if anyone has found a pause button for age, please let me know) and she’s been a girly-girl from the time when she could express her desires and preferences for toys, books, colors, and clothes. She loves dolls and princesses and she’s never been very much into Legos, cars or trains. If it were up to her, she’d spend her entire day dressed in her fairy dress up, magic wand and “special wings” (her words, not mine) included.
I know there are some parents who get annoyed when someone gives their daughter a princess-related toy as a gift and who think that princesses are just terrible role models for girls. I’m not sure why, but I’ve never really worried about this — and I say I’m not sure why because as a strong, opinionated, independent woman part of me thinks that yes, I should care. But my daughter is young, princesses are fun, and I seriously doubt that watching princess cartoons will make her believe that all she needs to do in life is look pretty, talk sweetly, and find a prince to take care of her. (And if she does grow up believing this, we’re to blame as parents vs cartoons and princess toys.)
Having said that, I find it both odd and wrong that most cartoons and movies for kids don’t have strong girl characters. I just read this piece on the NPR website where the author pleads with Pixar to make a movie where the girl is the main character who has to deal with challenges and overcome them instead of being a princess/nice girl side kick. According to the piece, the last 10 movies Pixar has released have all had central chachters who are boys (or robots, who are animated by boys). Hmm.
Which brings me to the last part of the titles for this post - Word Girl. If you haven’t yet discovered this great cartoon (and a book series), then you should — regardless of whether your kid is a boy or a girl. The central character is a girl named Becky, who is a superhero named Word Girl, and she goes around town preventing crimes and catching criminals, accompanied by her awesomely-funny side-kick Captain Huggy Pants. In the process, she teaches kids new words (thus the name). She is strong, brave, and smart and my daughter has become quite obsessed with her. (Apparently I have to make a Word Girl costume for Halloween next year.) And I love that there is at least one superhero role model out there who is, in fact, a girl.
If you have a daughter, do you worry about how the numerous princess movies, cartoons and books may influence her as she grows up?
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I worry less about the princess movies and influence and far more about the insipid pop star/Hollywood/Z List publicity influencing my daughter. However, I do find the whole princess thing vaguely…squicky and entirely too saccharine for my taste and I’m not sure I’d do so well if she became obsessed.
Phe | June 4th, 2009 at 6:17 am
No, I do not worry. I read classic literature with my girls. Princesses didn’t have it all that easy, what with stepmom wanting to kill them and eat their hearts, having to clean and cook for seven men, etc., in their rise to the top. The classic princess stories all have important messages for girls. Unfortunately, in recent decades they have been so watered down that the true depth of the story is often lost. But parents can counter that.
Kids understand that what they see on the boob tube is “pretend” - especially cartoon versions. I don’t believe that what little girls see on TV has any influence whatsoever on their self-confidence or initiative. As a child of the 1960s-1970s who regularly outthought and outran my older brothers, despite watching tons of “sexist” TV, this doesn’t concern me at all.
My daughter’s view of what a female can / should do is going to come from watching their personal superheroine - me - whether I want to believe it or not.
SKL | June 4th, 2009 at 7:22 am
Luckily, there are a number of great books out there with strong female main characters who happen to be princesses. One of my favorites is the Princess Academy. You probably would want to wait a year or two before reading it to your daughter, but it is a great story. Don’t despair - there are a lot of books out there with strong princesses & eventually, your daughter may even grow out of princesses. Of course, if she follows the same path my 9yo did, she’ll move onto fairies.
Lori N | June 4th, 2009 at 9:46 am
Princesses are fun - and most grown women must admit that somewhere deep inside of her there is a princess who loves fairy tales! My daughter also loves princesses and it doesn’t worry me a bit.
One thing to remember is that no matter how many princess movies our daughters watch - we moms will be their real role models. Kids listen, pay attention to, imitate and strive to be like their parents more than we think!
As professional, strong-willed, caring and strong women - I think our daughters will be just fine!
Samantha Cummings | June 4th, 2009 at 10:53 am
I agree with you on the princess front. But, at the same time, I’m shocked at Dora the Explorer’s make-over. One of my daughter’s favorite cartoons is Wow Wow Wubbsy, featuring the character Widget, who loves fixing and inventing things. One day I realized “hey Widget wears an awful lot of pink” and since then, she’s my cartoon girl-crush.
Colleen | June 4th, 2009 at 1:23 pm
My firstborn just turned 5 yesterday, and she is obsessed with Disney Princesses. I have the exact same reaction as you do: I feel like I should hate them, but I don’t care all that much. I think I learned about a year ago that there was no stopping the cult of the Princesses. People gave her princess stuff, she saw it on kids at preschool, and that was that. She sounds exactly like your daughter. (Mine wore a Disney Princess nightgown–worn as a dress–almost every single day last summer. I had to sneak it to wash it.)
But get this–my girls (my youngest will be 3 in August) are terrified of the show Word Girl. Not of Word Girl herself, but of the villains/criminals she fights off! They accidentally stumbled upon it one day while I was trying to get dinner on the table and their dad was out of town on a work trip–had never seen it before and normally don’t watch PBS at that time of day–and they just about had heart attacks, started screaming, crying, and running into the kitchen to find me, yelling at me to turn off the TV, turn off the TV! Apparently some comic-book bad guy was flying around and Word Girl was set to save the day. Only my daughters didn’t care about the happy ending part, they were traumatized by the bad guy part!
Kids are so funny. Maybe in a year or two my daughters will like Word Girl!
Shannon | June 4th, 2009 at 2:54 pm
My daughter is in the transition from princesses to fairies, which seems to be pretty typical for her age just now. Disney’s doing a pretty good job on that marketing scheme.
But she does enjoy Word Girl. My son does too.
Stephanie | June 4th, 2009 at 9:56 pm
My girls have just entered the Princess Realm. I had no idea that this was going to be visited upon us!! They will be 3 in August, and I have not shown them any Disney movies, but somehow, they know who Cinderella is, Snow White, and Sleeping Beauty!!! Okay, the pull-ups have these ladies on them, but I never identified them…
And now they want to wear their princess costumes all over.
Okay, so my username is Spacegeek. I work for NASA, and I was not a girly-girl myself. and am dealing with a daughter whose favorite color is pinkie!!! AAAGH! But I’ve gotten older, I’ve been able to become more at peace with my “pink” side…
I think the princesses are terrible role models. That’s why I haven’t tried to name the princesses and just make the costumes/pull-ups into pretty ladies. I think the Disney princess crowd send terrible messages, and I don’t like it at all.
Nonetheless, I’m not going to insist on denim and tie-dye when one girl only wants pink and sparklies. What kind of mom would I be if I couldn’t let my child express her needs/wants without imposing my own values?
There will be plenty of time for other pursuits, and
we go to Thomas the Train events and make sure they have lots of other role models too.
spacegeek | June 7th, 2009 at 11:52 pm
My daughter is 5 she loves princesses and TMNT I also love word girl and Kim possible is also a strong girl. I know its so too old for her but my daughter loves Tomb Raider because she is a tough girl who kicks butt. she likes watching the Disney TV movies that have girls as ninjas but loves playing princess too. I say keep it well rounded and shell be fine
Coolnanny | June 12th, 2009 at 4:50 pm