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Marriage woes

This has probably been the toughest couple of years in my 18-yr marriage.  The struggle to balance raising our DS with both of us working FT has led to strains in our relationship.  It's almost a "marriage trouble" cliché: DH doesn't feel like he gets enough intimacy/affection/support from me (it's not just sex, but it's mostly that), and I don't feel happy in my life to feel up for intimacy.  From my angle, I don't feel happy about how his health and his job have dominated things -- it almost seems like "it's always about him" kind of atmosphere -- when I believe he could have been more aggressive with how he could pursue resolutions to both.  (He's had to deal with some difficult medical issues over the past 5 yrs or so, and his company was on the rocks.)  Last night was tough: his company has been bought, and now the new company is saying he & his coworkers need to comply with *their* prescribed work hours.  If they cannot negotiate a change, he'll get home at 6:30 pm (or 7 pm if he cannot make the earlier train) instead of 5:30 pm, and he exercises daily after work for about 40 mins.  (I do my exercise during my lunch break.)  So not only will our son see him less (which troubles me), but he'll be even less available to help me out -- e.g. pick up DS from daycare in a pinch or whatever.  (DH works over an hour away and takes public transportation, which has a fixed schedule.)  As I tried to explore options for things to make it work better and he basically shot them down, I said, "Think about how these changes affect *me*, too."  Well, that led later to a drawn-out emotional back-and-forth where he said he felt frustrated, that he feels like he tries to be helpful (and he is; he does a fair amt of household duties) and now he's hearing from me that I'm basically not satisfied with what he does.  I didn't want to get into an argument about that, so I opted to talk about how I feel that friendships -- an important component of our lives; is it not? -- have been really pushed to the sidelines, partly due to "The Balance" struggle, partly due to a variety of other reasons, some beyond our control.  And that leaves a hole in my life that pains me a great deal.  Anyway, we didn't really resolve anything, but at least we got some things out on the table.  Counseling is not an option right now, and besides, we've done it before and know how hard it is to try and squeeze that in when you work FT and have a child.