guilt is really annoying..
i am so tired of feeling guilty. i think i am done!
i feel guilty for not calling my grandmother when my aunt was out of town, ok i feel guilty for not calling ALL of my family ALL the time, but then i also know if call/stop by/etc. it will then be one more thing that i need to add to my reoccuring schedule and turn into an expectation, not just a nice thing to do.
i feel guilty for working long hours and not getting to spend enough time with my son and my husband!
i feel guilty for not making more money and providing for my family (as i am the breadwinner, i feel it is my responsibility)
i feel guilty for spending time on the computer for non-work related tasks (ahem, WIM addicted for example! though WIM gets extra points for keeping me sane)
and i feel guilty for drinking so much darn starbucks!
it's annoying because i want to want to spend time with my family, i dont want to spend time with them because i have to - just like i wouldnt want someone to spend time with me becasue they felt they had to! and in order to provide for my family i need to work long hours (for now!!) and i need to keep sane by visiting sites like WIM and drinking starbucks!
so i have decided i am certainly not helping myself (or anyone else!) by feeling guilty all the time. i am done. it only succeeds in making me feel badly about something i am not going to change right now so there is no point! i am doing the best i can right now and if family/friends can't deal with that then it is their problem and they can be annoyed with me if they like, that's up to them!
now the tricky part is actually following through! :)