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Holiday distraction: meeting the Girlfriend

Posted 20th December 2007 by Florinda Pendley Vasquez, tagged family, holidays, introductions

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There was some good discussion on Lylah's post the other day about DHS (Delayed Holiday Spirit). Mine seems to be slow to arrive this year, and I've decided not to get too bothered about it. After all, the traditional "Twelve Days of Christmas" start on Christmas Day - that's not when they end - so by that reckoning I still have time.

But I'm starting to wonder whether a new element in our Christmas might be distracting me more than I realize.

My son's arriving on Sunday night for Christmas week. We're picking him up at the airport, and that's when we'll be meeting his girlfriend of over a year for the first time. (I spoke to her on the phone for the first time ever on Thanksgiving Day, for about two minutes.) The baggage-claim area at LAX isn't a particularly auspicious place to make introductions, and as it gets closer, I realize how relatively little I know about her. 

I think my son and I would both say we have a good relationship, but there are things he doesn't get around to telling me, and things I don't ask. (His dad does the third-degree bit far better than I do.) I know how they met, I know they like a lot of the same things - particularly sports and swing dancing, which is how they met. I know where her family is from, and that my son has met them several times now. I know how old she is.

I tend to prefer meeting people after I've had a chance to do my homework about them, but I'm feeling caught short this time. I guess we'll just have to get to know each other over next week's activities. I'm interested to see how she and my son interact with each other.

I hope we won't scare her off! Should I be nervous? 





9 comments so far...

  • Ok, the holidays are past and I'm guessing the visit is over--fess up Florinda, how was it? I've had my fingers crossed for you!

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by OliveMartini on 31st December 2007

  • I'm just timid around new people, although it's not as bad as it used to be. I'm far more comfortable being outgoing online, so y'all probably couldn't tell. :-)

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Florinda Pendley Vasquez on 21st December 2007

  • How exciting. It sounds like it will be fun and eventful. The other ladies are probably right....she's probably ten times more nervous than you. It's very kind of you to be nervous too. I bet you'll have a blast!

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by mamajama on 21st December 2007

  • This is why I come here - you're all so supportive. :-) Thanks!

    Before my current husband took me to meet his parents, his mother told him the only thing she needed to know about me was whether I made him happy. I wish I could be that relaxed about it.

    But if she and my son have kept things going for over a year - living in different cities for half that time - I do think that says something good.

    I suspect that as long as we're all ourselves, it will go fine.

    MaryP - you're exactly right about those mixed emotions.

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Florinda Pendley Vasquez on 21st December 2007

  • It's a funny feeling, when they get to the age that this person they are bringing home for the first time could be the person they marry in a year or two. Because most people do get married, and you just never know which "new girl/boyfriend" could be "the one".

    It feels a little odd, even though seeing them happily established in a life of their own -- very likely to include a spouse or partner -- is exactly what we want for them.

    Though for the most part I have confidence that my children will make good choices for themselves, I know that for the first few years of their lives, they were part of an increasingly dysfunctional relationship, and I worry that they might repeat that family pattern in their own relationships. I don't feel *responsible* for that exactly, but I do worry about it, at least sometimes.

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by MaryP on 21st December 2007

  • so cute that you are nervous! But remember she is WAY more intimidated by YOU than the other way around! (you know, like a spider ha! cracking myself up!)

    you will have a great time, and if her family sees the greatness that is your son thats a good thing right? and at 23 boys are soooo short sighted - 'the future' means 6 months from now, not forever LOL

    relax and enjoy!!!

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Kate on 21st December 2007

  • No need to be nervous.... have an open mind - there is something great about not knowing much about the new person you are meeting... allows you to form your own opinion of her and not be biased :) Enjoy this week with your son!

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Victoria on 20th December 2007

  • Lylah - Good point. But I think I'm nervous BECAUSE he might be serious. He's only 23! (Granted, I was already married and his mom at that age, but it seemed so much older when it was ME! :-D)

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Florinda Pendley Vasquez on 20th December 2007

  • I'm guessing your son is pretty serious about this young lady -- don't be nervious, be excited! (You could be nervous if he DIDN'T want you two to meet!)

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Lylah M. Alphonse on 20th December 2007

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