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being a parent vs. loving your child

Posted 6th January 2011 by JenniferRS, tagged parenting, parent

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Something i've been asking myself lately is can you love your child but not like being a parent?  I have concluded that this is in fact possible.  I became a "parent" 16.5 months ago - I know some people may think they became parents as soon as they were pregnant, but not me.  That role didn't happen until I gained responsibility for some other being. 

Is it awful to say that I'm not in love with being a parent, does that make me love my son less, I don't think so.  I mean here's what comes with being a parent:

1. no social life

2. fear of screwing up your child

3. guilt of ALOT of things

4. finding id difficult to do things for you

5. suddenly you can't just quit your job

6. traveling on a moment's notice might not ever happen

7. waking up at 7am every morning

8. feeling old

and the list goes on and on...I realize the things we get out being parents are getting to watch little people turn into big people, and you help them every step of the way.  don't get me wrong, I know that's huge, and I find it scary and exciting at the same time, but I guess being a parent just feels, well, blah!  there are such negative connotations that come with that word that it's really hard to break away from feeling that way.  I mean, we essentially become the people we've not only made fun of, but also despised at some point in our life - and I don't know about you, but I don't want to be that person.





3 comments so far...

  • I agree. It is easier being a mom then it is being a parent. I try to do both by taking it one day at a time. There was a time in my life that I was better at my career then I was a being a parent I was doing that longer at the time. Today I try to balance being a mom, being a parent, being a wife and mostly being a woman of grace and dignity.

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Kathleen Flynn-Bisson on 22nd January 2011

  • It's a fair question. I never grew up wanting to be a Mom, nor did I really like children until my friends and relatives started having them. I think it happened slowly for me. First my sister had a child and I really enjoyed getting to know her and being involved in her life. Then my boyfriend's, now husband, sister had three little girls, and I enjoyed that as well. Then at some point along the way I realized that I too wanted to have a child - I just find it difficult imagining that I am a parent. It's just not a title I associate myself with - but I love my baby, I love my husband, and I love my life! Does that explain it?

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by JenniferRS on 21st January 2011

  • I agree that you can love your child without loving being a parent but it makes me curious why you decided to become one? I am not judging, just curious. I am one of those women who has wanted to be a parent ever since I can remember. If I could have answered honestly growing up when asked what I wanted to be it would have been a Mom so I just find it interesting to talk to other Moms who don't feel that way. Obviously even though I love being a Mom there are times I wish I could sleep more, etc but all in all I wouldn't trade it for the world.

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Telecommuting Mom on 21st January 2011

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