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Ten years ago, I'd probably have had an answer to this question. Self-assertion, perhaps, or kindness, or the ability to communicate matters of importance.

Now, however, I simply can't answer the question. There is no one skill. It depends entirely on the child in question. For one child, I desire more self-awareness and less passivity. For another, a little more tolerance of loved ones' imperfections. For a third, the wisdom to distinguish between constructive and destructive friendships.