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There are a lot of things I never thought I'd hear myself say. "Don't lick the microwave" among them. And yet, since I became a parent, I find myself saying them more and more often.

Today, it was, "Dinner is almost ready, so please stop running into things."

Yesterday, it was, "Your belly button does not come off."

Recently, it was, "Your brother did not hit you. You taking his hand and smacking yourself on the cheek is not the same as him hitting you."

Have you heard yourself utter any gems lately? Please share!