Dating and the Single Mom
Dating, in general, can be a very tricky thing to do. There are so many rules about what to say, how to act, who should pay. For those needing more instruction, there are websites and dating coaches that even give advice on how not to come off as a raving lunatic, what activities to plan that will break the ice, up the comfort level, but avoid the sleazy factor, as well as how to make it to the second date and beyond.
Still, there is little advice that covers the treacherous waters of dating a divorced/single mother. Since being a single/divorced mother already comes with its own set of challenges, a woman in this situation may avoid dating for some time until she feels she/ or her child(ren) can handle this fact. Not to mention, there are several psychological factors she innately worries about.
Because this type of person, has mostly likely been in a committed relationship before, and has what some would consider to be “baggage” from a previous relationship, dating this type of woman can be tricky. Luckily, there are lots of men out there ready for the challenge. Now it’s up to you to prove to her that you’re not another jerk just trying to get into her pants.
Note: The following applies to real men searching for meaningful relationships with single/divorced mothers:
-Don’t criticize her because she’s single.
-Do compliment her for being a strong woman who is raising her child(ren) on her own. The ability to hold down a household financially, emotionally and otherwise reveals her strength. She is ambitious, a go-getter. These are qualities indicative of a woman able to handle adversity and shows that she will not easily crumble under pressure, which is a good characteristic of a potential future partner.
-Don’t try to make her a friend with benefits/booty call.
-Do show that you respect her enough to let her agree to this type of arrangement. Or, let her move on to someone who is willing to be in a serious relationship with her. She shouldn’t be demeaned or judged as a loose woman simply because of her single mother status.
-Don’t expect her to pay all the time. Besides, she doesn’t need another mouth to feed.
-Do try to help her out whenever you can. For instance, pay for some, if not, most of your dates. Going dutch in this economy is a wise decision as it lessens the financial burdens and expectations of both involved.
Finances are a concern as a single/divorced mother worries not if the man is rich. However, she may worry if the man can actually bring something to the table. Or, will he simply become another mouth to feed? Likewise, most women, not just single/divorced mothers, still look to the man to pay for the majority of the dates. If this isn’t possible, be honest with her up front to limit any unrealistic expectations early on.