How to get your lawn mower started (My husband swears by this method)
Having trouble getting your mower started after a long winter? This is the method my husband uses:
1. Try to start the mower. It runs for a second and dies.
2. Continue to try to start it until you get blisters. Kick the mower.
3. Go inside and throw around just enough stuff to piss your wife off.
4. Sit in a chair and watch mindless T.V. and pout.
5. Next Day: Try to start the mower again, and again. Get pissed off again and storm into the house.
6. Ignore your wife while she looks up troubleshooting tips on how to start the mower and tells you it is bad gas.
7. Sit in a chair and watch mindless T.V. and pout.
8. Call your father to get advice about how to start the mower.
9. Ignore your wife who has downloaded instructions on how to get the bad gas out of the mower.
10. Go outside and try to start the mower again.
11. Get pissed off when it doesn't start and go get another spark plug for the mower.
12. Change the spark plug and try to start the mower again.
13. Kick the mower when it does not start and come back inside to pout and tell your wife to do the freaking laundry and piss her off. Call screen so that you do not have to listen to unwanted advice on starting the mower from your father.
14. Next day, pour gasoline into the carborator of the mower, and try to start the mower again. it sputters. Do it again and again as if you are punishing the mower for not starting. It runs long enough to burn off the old gas. Problem solved.