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caramelsugarberry38's Blog

Down In The Dumpers Lately...

Ugh, Whoa is me. Does anyone hear the violins playing in the background? It's playing, "Cry Me a River," " I Feel So Lonely," "Send In the Clowns." I think you get it. Feel free to fill in the blanks with whatever feel sorry for yourself song you can think of. Ever have one of these days? Well, I'm having one.

The kind where you want to do the following:

Pull the covers over your head and never get out of bed in the morning.

Stay in your PJs and robe and cry all day long.

Pack your bags and leave the house for at least 2 weeks by yourself.

Or better yet, book a flight to nowhere and never come back home.

Have an affair or something taboo you've never done before.

Yell and scream and hit the pillow (or your husband) which ever is closest.

Eat an entire cake, gallon of chocolate ice cream, bag of cookies.

Call your closest girlfriend (who just happens to be vacationing) and complain until your exhausted and totally ruined her vacation.

Kick the dog, pull your hair out, break all the dishes in the house and swear off cooking and household chores forever.

Go on strike and camp out in your family room where no one else is allowed except if their bringing you comfort foods or a DVD.

Since Mother's Day I've been in the dumpers. Everyone's probably read my rant under the Q&A section about how blahsey my Mother's Day was and how disappointed I was because the hubby put absolutely no effort into the day's events - not to mention when he added insult to injury by proclaiming his undying love and honor for none other than his MOTHER, who I just so happen to be in a long-term battle with over insensitive remarks she made in January about my 2 oldest children who aren't her biological grandchildren.

My mood began to ebb further southward after talking with hubby in an attempt to "express my feelings" and was curtly dismissed with the "I've got to go to work in the morning" speech. This is my husband's way of not having to be bothered and leaving me to muddle and brew "in my feelings." I happily obliged his rude wishes - all night.

Usually it takes me a few days and I can get over myself by focusing my attention on other things - prayer, church, writing, kids, cooking, daily schedules, my favorite TV show, kids homework, anything until the issue resurfaces again if it wasn't dealt with then. And this issue with "mommy" wasn't. When the issue comes back up for me I usually decide if it's worth it to bring it back up or better to just move ahead and forget about it. My decision to press forward or forget it is usually based on how important the issue is to me and how much it's going to impact our future or the kids and more importantly - if it's something that keeps coming up again and again.

1 comment so far...

Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry! And you have been such a comfort and encouragement to ME this week. All I can say is, God knows your heart, and no priest or condemnation from a judgmental bystander (MIL)can take that away from you. I know how it feels to want to take part in communion in Mass, but not be able to because I also am a baptist married into a Catholic family. It's the heart, not the ritual that counts. Hold your head up and know that your desire to please the Lord is what is most important. I'll be lifting you up in my prayers.

Flag as inappropriate Posted by MAC on 22nd May 2008