A Day in the Life of a Working Mom Contemplating Divorce
Posted 1st June 2008 by Almond, tagged divorce, decisions, help, sadness, single mothers, christianity
When I was a wee little girl, I dreamed of having the perfect family. I wanted a wonderful husband and 5 boys (that of course was before I knew what raising a child really meant). I never thought I'd understand the life of a single mother.
My husband was accepted to a school 900 miles away. The plan was after he graduated, he would come back, and we would live happily ever after. This was my dream after years of struggle-- me, a college graduate and fresh in my career, and he, a college dropout with... say it with me now... POTENTIAL. Years of financial worries would be a thing of the past.
Now the mother of three little boys, my husband has never returned. Intermittent phone calls. Intermittent deposits into the bank account. Intermittent visits. I don't get to build a career because my focus is on surviving. I can't take the risks involving in trying something new, because I could be sacrificing our basic needs (food, shelter, and clothing).
I woke up this morning at 8:00am and prayed really hard for strength and patience. It's 10:30am, and I'm already yelling. I just want time to think. I want time to curl up in a ball and cry. But instead, the kids want juice and they're fighting. This is what my dream has become, and the Bible says I can only divorce him if I find out he's been an adulterer. Where does God write about my happiness?
5 comments so far...
Flag as inappropriate Posted by amanda on 6th September 2008
Without getting too theological here (and I'm definitely NOT a theology student), unfaithfullness has and can mean many things, 1 of which is adultry. It is not ONLY adultry. Many churches interpret it to mean unfaithful to the vows of marriage, to be there for each other, to help each other, etc. No church would condone, imho, abuse or abandonment, nor should they.
Unfortuantely too many people (followers and clergy alike) want to interpret literally, rather than realizing that something that was written in the 1st Century would not necesarily have the same meaning in the 21st. After all, if it WERE adhered to literally, women would stil be considered property, just as slaves are/were. And we ALL know that pretty much has changed...
Flag as inappropriate Posted by JKLD on 4th June 2008
BrendaG, thank you as well for your comment. Any decision that I make is based in prayer. I've had many a conversation with my husband and he should know how I feel at this point. How is he feeling is a good question. I don't know because he is not emotionally open in that way with me anymore. All I want and need from him is for us to be back in our home together and in counseling or knee deep in the bible. I've made that very well known at this point. Time will tell, I've given him 30 days.
Flag as inappropriate Posted by Almond on 4th June 2008
I don't have any silver bullet advice, all I can say is follow your heart and don't let judgmental naysayers bully you into a choice that will make you (and your kids) unhappy.
Flag as inappropriate Posted by BrendaG on 2nd June 2008
I am religious, but where certain things are concerned, I find that the church needs a really good dose of common sense. For the most part, it's still run by old men who don't have a bloody clue what reality really is.
Flag as inappropriate Posted by JKLD on 2nd June 2008