When I was a wee little girl, I dreamed of having the perfect family. I wanted a wonderful husband and 5 boys (that of course was before I knew what raising a child really meant). I never thought I'd understand the life of a single mother.
My husband was accepted to a school 900 miles away. The plan was after he graduated, he would come back, and we would live happily ever after. This was my dream after years of struggle-- me, a college graduate and fresh in my career, and he, a college dropout with... say it with me now... POTENTIAL. Years of financial worries would be a thing of the past.
Now the mother of three little boys, my husband has never returned. Intermittent phone calls. Intermittent deposits into the bank account. Intermittent visits. I don't get to build a career because my focus is on surviving. I can't take the risks involving in trying something new, because I could be sacrificing our basic needs (food, shelter, and clothing).
I woke up this morning at 8:00am and prayed really hard for strength and patience. It's 10:30am, and I'm already yelling. I just want time to think. I want time to curl up in a ball and cry. But instead, the kids want juice and they're fighting. This is what my dream has become, and the Bible says I can only divorce him if I find out he's been an adulterer. Where does God write about my happiness?