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Family

Posted 15th July 2008 by KC

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"So, when are we going to have the second one?" my husband asked the day we arrived home from the hospital with our first child.

"Never." I responded as I gingerly sat down at the kitchen table. I was still sore from the delivery.

"You don't mean that!" my husband exclaimed. I just glared in silence.

Eleven months have passed since that conversation and, despite the drama of post-partum blues, night time awakenings, daily nursing/pumping, daycare, and now pre-toddler tantrums , I have this inexplicably strong desire to have a second baby.

To say that "now is not a good time," is definitely an understatment: I'm on track to graduate in June 09. Between now and then, I have a research project to start and complete, a graduation paper to write, a future work assignment to secure and relocation to navigate. Every sane fiber in me says, "not now!"

But, I just can't shake this feeling. My son is such a joy. He has enhanced our lives by an unmeasurable degree. And, it would be so nice to complete our family with one more little munchkin who giggles and babbles and screams. One more little munchkin to hold and caress and nuture.

The insanity of these thoughts become become less so when I think about the life force of a family. My family sustains and affirms me. It gives purpose and clarity to my existence in a way that work never can. So, in the midst of all these pending goals and suspenses, commitment to family and it's development is so much more important to me, to us.

So, as I inch closer to that second baby, I smile and welcome the challenges which lay ahead wth the confidence of a woman who understands what is most important.





6 comments so far...

  • Ah, how I remember that yearning for just one more! I still have it now and then, though the kids are 13 and 8 already. Having just finished the Master' s a year ago, one class at a time for financial reasons, but mostly to accomodate the family (first things first!), I know what hard work is ahead for you academically. But I think the real question is, how much support do you have at home?Lots to consider... Is the degree important to you both? Will you be relocating near family? I always wish I'd had one more. Hope I didn't muddy the waters more than they already are for you, KC. I'm one of five, all girls (they kept trying for that boy!), and Mom always said that once you have three, the rest is easy! How's that for a quote! :) Good luck with your decision. As long as the decision is right for you, and feels right in your heart as well as your head, you'll have made the right choice.

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by mommapolitico.blogspot.com on 19th July 2008

  • Thanks, Rei. This is definitely a double-edged decision and writing this blog helped me work through these feelings.

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by KC on 18th July 2008

  • I'm with mamajama. If I weren't an only child myself, I'd say I wouldn't have anymore kids. My 22-month-old is wonderful, but I don't think I could "plan" to go through the pregnancy, the labor, the maternity leave, etc all over again. I want to go back to graduate school and work on my career a bit, before I have another. Anyway, my husband and I are not trying, but we're not preventing either. Whatever decision you make will be great! Good luck!

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by mrsllanes on 17th July 2008

  • Thanks ladies!

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by KC on 17th July 2008

  • Good luck with your choice!

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Mandy Nelson - Dandysound on 16th July 2008

  • I've been having similar thoughts lately...but kind of an opposite nature. I always thought I would have my kids pretty close together. I thought that two years apart was ideal...I'm coming to realize that the age difference doesn't matter to me as much as I thought it did, and I'm simply not ready to have another baby. Good luck on your journey of creating your family. It sounds like you're really good at listening to yourself.

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by mamajama on 15th July 2008

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