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Overheard at the gym

Posted 27th September 2007 by Nataly, tagged going back to work

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Overheard at the gym:

Woman #1: "I heard Sally is going back to work. I know she really wants to get out of the house, but I just don't understand how it will all work. I mean, who is going to be there to help the kids with homework after school?"

Woman #2: "I know, I was surprised when she told me. I never figured her for one of those career moms, but I guess she really hates not working.:

Woman #1: "I think I'd like to go back to work at some point too, but it would have to be when the kids are in college! (laughs) - I am a super-control freak to trust them with anyone else besides me!"

I am so tired today that I don't even know if this makes me sad, mad or something in between.





9 comments so far...

  • This may be a controversial comment, but I'm not quite sure what's so bad, sad, or--well, controversial, I guess, about the above conversation. Were those 2 women really saying anything that bad? Is the term "career mom" so judgmental? It doesn't sound bad to me. Isn't that just a mom with a career? And aren't these 2 women just musing together about the dilemmas so many of us wonder about and/or struggle with--i.e., how will everything kid-care-related get done or get taken care of when mom has more on her plate? I certainly wonder about that, as I consider the future need to go back to work in order for my family to survive financially. Just because I wonder who will help with homework and how I will handle giving up some of the control I currently have over my children's care doesn't mean I view careers as negative things, for myself or any other moms.

    Why is it such a reflex to take offense at so many discussions among women about work vs. family demands?

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Shannon Hyland-Tassava on 2nd October 2007

  • I would just like the choice. Honestly. I'm numb. Single moms have to work, and when they're out of work AND at home and have the kids there and are trying to find work, well, I don't need to post pictures, do I? : )

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Mindy Roberts on 2nd October 2007

  • Be confident in your decisions and don't let other people's opinions affect you. It is all about personal choice and paying the bills. I am working part-time and staying at home too. I have friends who have said "they were bored staying home and needed stimuation". I find being home stimulating, and I find work stimulating. However, I did not take my friend's comment to heart. No matter what you choose to do it is your choice and your family. Maybe the woman who made the comment about "career mom" feels a little bad about her own choice. No matter what your decision is I think we all have some guilt, doubt, worry-regardless of the situation.

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Christine on 1st October 2007

  • "I am so tired today that I don't even know if this makes me sad, mad or something in between."

    I'm with you on this statement. My husband has been traveling for work all week so I've been coming home from work at 6pm and having all of the kids and household responsibilities to deal with myself (kudos to single parents!). The conversation bugs me because they do make it sound like she's putting her family at a disadvantage by going back to work. I think that the struggle between SAHM and "career" moms is always going to exist. Why do we feel that need to convince ourselves that we're doing it better, no matter what side f the coin we may be on?

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Jennifer on 28th September 2007

  • come on - we all discuss our friends decisions with our mutual friends when we are worried about them! the laughable part is they just can't even comprehend how she could go back to work, much less WHY! i think it was a conversation between two friends trying to understand a mutual friends decision that seemed to come out of left field. Yeah, my initial reaction would have probably been GRRRRRRR, but i doubt they meant anything bad by it. no matter what term is used to describe a particular situation ('career mom' 'stay at home mom' etc.) our perceptions are what make it negative. what can i say, i am in a reflective mood LOL

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Kate on 28th September 2007

  • First, wow. Just wow. Second, I feel kinda sad that these women would discuss their "friend" like that. Who needs enemies? It's still very disturbing to see women want to demean other women this way. It makes me sad that they feel the need to make a Working Mom feel like they are negleting their family. What happened to her partner, or kids other parent helping them with homework? It makes my angry that they likely wouldn't have the proverbial balls to even mention that to their friend. And it makes me very disenchanted with discussing any of my personal decisions with anyone like these two women.

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by on 28th September 2007

  • Sheesh, we used to have to do our homework OURSELVES! My head's still shaking over many aspects of this - but I've heard variations on it in conversations at my book club, where I was the only WAHM for awhile. Sometimes I'm just floored these conversations are still happening in 2007 - in 1975, or even 1981, I might understand it more. We're all lucky we have opportunities and choices, I guess. But I think it's actually Super Control Freak that bothers me the most here - does she plan not to let her kids out of her sight till they go to college? (So where were they while she was at the gym, then?)

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Florinda Pendley Vasquez on 27th September 2007

  • Actually, I think that conversation makes me HAPPY! Happy that I am secure in my abilities as a mother and a woman to not only manage my household but to manage my own career as well. Because, yes.. the only reason we all work is just to get out of the house. HAH! It makes me HAPPY to know that I am capable and intelligent and such a nifty-multitasker!

    And it makes me HAPPY that I can choose to stay home, choose to go back to work, or choose to sit here in my office repeatidly clicking refresh on Work It, Mom! until I find an awesome note like this to comment on. But whatever I do.. I'm HAPPY with MY decision, regardless what the hags in the gym say. (hags meaning everyone there besides YOU of course) ;)

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by The Tattooed Mommie on 27th September 2007

  • It's sad that they feel the need to discuss HER personal choices. It's really none of their business if she wants to stay home or work, either is perfectly acceptable.

    I've never heard the 'I never figured her for one of those career moms' line. I think every woman could have whatever career they put their mind to, even if it's solely being a SAHM and homemaker (given the finances are there).

    Furthermore, who says she can't get a job that she'd be done by the time her kids are done with school for the day? I work full time and I get out of here at 4pm. That would be early enough to help the kids with their homework if they should need it.

    I guess one good thing is they seem concerned for the greater good of her family, even if not for her own desires.

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Marcia on 27th September 2007

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