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This may be a controversial comment, but I'm not quite sure what's so bad, sad, or--well, controversial, I guess, about the above conversation. Were those 2 women really saying anything that bad? Is the term "career mom" so judgmental? It doesn't sound bad to me. Isn't that just a mom with a career? And aren't these 2 women just musing together about the dilemmas so many of us wonder about and/or struggle with--i.e., how will everything kid-care-related get done or get taken care of when mom has more on her plate? I certainly wonder about that, as I consider the future need to go back to work in order for my family to survive financially. Just because I wonder who will help with homework and how I will handle giving up some of the control I currently have over my children's care doesn't mean I view careers as negative things, for myself or any other moms.

Why is it such a reflex to take offense at so many discussions among women about work vs. family demands?

Be confident in your decisions and don't let other people's opinions affect you. It is all about personal choice and paying the bills. I am working part-time and staying at home too. I have friends who have said "they were bored staying home and needed stimuation". I find being home stimulating, and I find work stimulating. However, I did not take my friend's comment to heart. No matter what you choose to do it is your choice and your family. Maybe the woman who made the comment about "career mom" feels a little bad about her own choice. No matter what your decision is I think we all have some guilt, doubt, worry-regardless of the situation.

come on - we all discuss our friends decisions with our mutual friends when we are worried about them! the laughable part is they just can't even comprehend how she could go back to work, much less WHY! i think it was a conversation between two friends trying to understand a mutual friends decision that seemed to come out of left field. Yeah, my initial reaction would have probably been GRRRRRRR, but i doubt they meant anything bad by it. no matter what term is used to describe a particular situation ('career mom' 'stay at home mom' etc.) our perceptions are what make it negative. what can i say, i am in a reflective mood LOL

Sheesh, we used to have to do our homework OURSELVES! My head's still shaking over many aspects of this - but I've heard variations on it in conversations at my book club, where I was the only WAHM for awhile. Sometimes I'm just floored these conversations are still happening in 2007 - in 1975, or even 1981, I might understand it more. We're all lucky we have opportunities and choices, I guess. But I think it's actually Super Control Freak that bothers me the most here - does she plan not to let her kids out of her sight till they go to college? (So where were they while she was at the gym, then?)

It's sad that they feel the need to discuss HER personal choices. It's really none of their business if she wants to stay home or work, either is perfectly acceptable.

I've never heard the 'I never figured her for one of those career moms' line. I think every woman could have whatever career they put their mind to, even if it's solely being a SAHM and homemaker (given the finances are there).

Furthermore, who says she can't get a job that she'd be done by the time her kids are done with school for the day? I work full time and I get out of here at 4pm. That would be early enough to help the kids with their homework if they should need it.

I guess one good thing is they seem concerned for the greater good of her family, even if not for her own desires.