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Criticism is killing my self-esteem.

Posted 14th August 2008 by chaela86, tagged critic, mother

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How do you stay positive when all you hear from other people, is how much of a terrible mother you are? Criticism is killing my self-esteem.

It's not like being a stay-at-home mom is a walk in the park. Don't get me wrong, I love making all these memories with my son, but 24/7 is a little much sometimes. Adult interaction is necessary! And yet you say one thing about needing to "get away for 5 minutes" and suddenly it's like you've gone off the deep end!

It's not just the little things, which do add up though.

I remember when my son came home. My mother everyday for the 1st three months of his life decided she should call and try to convince me I had PPD...and I didn't! She's also asked me if I bathe him regularly! Just to name a few of the outrageous things she's asked me.

After months of this negativity, I'm beginning to think I'm doing something wrong. Am I a bad mother for needing some "me time" or am I just missing something?





3 comments so far...

  • Heck yes you're a bad mom! Your bad for not inviting us other moms to run away with you for a few hours!!! It gets easier, really. The beginning is tough and if your child is the only person you really interact with all day then it's harder to stop those little voices in your head. Big hugs.

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Mandy Nelson - Dandysound on 15th August 2008

  • I know exactly what you mean!!! In the 10 weeks since my son was born, I have not had one free moment to myself. The only break I get is at work (which isn't exactly a break) because my son is in daycare now. My husband has not been willing to help at all. Even if my son is sleeping, he still thinks I should take him to the grocery store with me instead of leaving him home with dad for half an hour. Of course I feel guilty for even thinking that I need a little time to myself instead of being with my son, but the reality is that we all need a little down time to refresh ourselves. My husband's unwillingness to help even a little makes me want the time even more, and it also makes me bitter toward him. He told me my need for help is due to my inability to manage, because there are "tons of women who have 4 or 5 kids and they don't need help." I don't "need" the help, I just want a pedicure so my heels stop snagging my nylons! *Smile* So NO...you aren't missing anything and you are certainly not a bad mother.

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by OmKareem on 14th August 2008

  • Of course not. Everyone needs personal time, whether it be a bath, a night out, or just a few hours to yourself to do something you want to do. Your mother needs to back off. It's your child. I'm sure she cares about him, but she needs to realize that it's your turn to be mom. I've had to put my mom in her place a few times about feeding my daughter junk food all day while I'm at work and not making her eat good food. You have the final say in how your child will be raised and your mom will probably keep acting like that until you tell her about it.

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Marcia on 14th August 2008

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