I thought I was embarrassed when Ben accused me of farting in Meijer (when in fact, he just made a raspberry and blamed it on my rear). I thought I was embarrassed when I tripped up the curb and the contents of my purse spilled onto Fourth Street. Apparently, I didn't know what embarrassment was until this morning.
I was holding onto Ben's wrist this morning as I guided him through the parking lot to his school, when a mom greeted us on her way to her car. Ben decided to pipe up with, "***'s mom is big and fat!"
I hadn't realized that I'd stopped breathing until the little commentator said, "Mom? You're squeezing my arm." In an effort to show the mom that I had things under control, I took in a breath and crouched to his level to tell him, (loudly), that it can hurt someone's feelings if we call them fat.
In Ben's defense, he was simply making an observation. Just like when he says sharks have lots of teeth or some men are really tall. The little guy seemed sorry and a little confused that I had taken such a tone with him. He wasn't trying to be mean or hurt anyone's feeler.
I never thought Ben noticed fat or skinny, considering I'm not exactly the slimmest of creatures. I figured it was like second hand smoke - you don't notice it when you're around it. I do debate with myself on whether or not I should actually go for that turtle sundae. And yes, I admit that I want to throw a cheeseburger at the skinny girl who orders the salad - dressing on the side - for lunch while I lick the grease off my face from my bacon cheese fries with extra bacon. Obviously, I'm just passing my aggression onto Miss Slim while I berate myself for my own bad choices, but hey, as long as I do it in my head, it's ok. Right?
Ok, so thinking is just as bad as saying. It's judgment, and I realize I need to work on this. But if someone's physical appearance is what you see first, then the observation should be just that - an insignificant side note. And then it's up to the observer to realize that skinny, fat, black or white doesn't define the person. Just like bacon and cheese fries only define the weight of my right leg.