I went out tonight with two goals in mind - (1)hit the ATM on the way to (2)teach yoga. There was a ton of traffic so I had to skip the ATM on the way. Instead, I opted to go by on the way home.
Taught two classes tonight and they were fantastic. I was on cloud nine by the time I got in the car. The energy, the relaxation, the thrill. Amazing. Then I stopped by the ATM.
I panicked. Shaking, almost crying. Sitting in the drive thru knowing I need to deposit these checks and get some cash back and I'm a mess. I did it. I deposited and withdrew but I needed to pull over and try to get back to that space I had been in ten minutes before. I couldn't find the space. I felt like someone would jump out of nowhere and attack.
I'm over it now, a few hours later, a little meditation, talk to the hubby, have a cocktail. But how long will it go on? It's been what, two weeks since the mugging? STOP. And this is all rhetorical b/c I know it will take time. I know I'll have to just get through it. I was just overwhelmed that i could finally go w/out a day with anxiety and then have it come over me faster then ever.