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glee and anxiety

Posted 4th October 2007 by MaryP

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I've started a new project. I'm writing -- for PAY!

I love it. I want to be a writer, and now I'm writing!! Every time I see another post with my name on it, I get a little charge. ZING! Lookit ME!

But ... I can't give up my day job while I pursue this. I'm the primary income-earner in this household. So, for a couple of years, I'm probably going to be adding more and more writing, while still managing the day job.

I've found the last two weeks to be REALLY stressful. Or perhaps 'stress' isn't quite right. I've been anxious. How will I fit it all in? If this one contract is taking up so much time (and it IS), how will I survive doing this full-time? (I have some answer to this, BTW, but it's the anxiety I've been feeling.) And how on EARTH will I manage, a year or so from now, when I have my current full-time job AND an almost-full-time writing career?

I have no interest in working 90 hours a week. Never have. But I think I might have to do just that for a while.

Ugh.





3 comments so far...

  • I'd probably worry too, but I'm a worrier anyway :-), and like you, I've never wanted to work 90 hours a week. There may be times over the next couple of years when your workload, divided between daycare and writing, adds up to more than 100% of your time (if that makes sense), but it sounds like you've got a good transition plan. I'm very excited for you - and maybe just a little envious. :-)

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Florinda Pendley Vasquez on 4th October 2007

  • Oh, that's the goal: even now, this contract means that I have one fewer daycare tot than normal, and I'm not looking to fill the space. Technically, this means that my daytime workload has dropped by 15% or so -- but we're talking toddlers here. But that is absolutely my intention: as the writing increases, I decrease the daycare until - within 3 years, if all goes according to plan - I am doing nothing but writing. It's just those overlap couple of years that worry me!

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by MaryP on 4th October 2007

  • First of all, congratulations! That is really awesome and you should be really proud.

    I really know what you mean about the anxiety and I don't have any ultra-wise words of advice other than to say that nothing is forever. This is important to you and is something you like doing, so perhaps for a period in your life you will be working more than you prefer. But eventually you will figure out a better balance - perhaps you will be able to make enough money writing that you could give up your day job:)!

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Nataly on 4th October 2007

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