Lesson Learned
Posted 6th February 2009 by Patricia, tagged teens parenting struggling struggle sons boys advice
I know when you have kids, they don't come with Manuals, and instructions on what to do with them when they misbehave, act out, grow older and roll their eyes at your advice, etc... But, it's times like this when I start to doubt myself, when trying to work with my teenage son, and keeping that connection with him so I don't push him away, or have him venture off, without a care in the world for either of us (parents). I get worried that my own kids are not hearing the words I say, and sometimes they look at us like we don't know what the Hell we're talking about. I know that saying about 'teenagers' and their 'attitude' towards their parents. Sometimes I think to myself "Wow, I've invested so much time into my kids, when they were younger, and they appreciated my advice, my rules and loved us up, like there was no tomorrow. We got frequent hugs and I LOVE YOU's from both the sons, and now... where is that?? What did we do wrong??"
Well, I'm not going to take it personally, even though when the boys roll their eyes at me, now, when I'm talking to them, or suggesting something, etc, my heart hurts. I try not to sound upset or frustrated, even though it comes out that way, in the end, after arguing with my oldest (14 yrs). He has to have the last word... he has to know more than me, and he always says, "I KNOW, MOM!" or "Whatever!"... this wasn't how they were, a couple of years ago. They had manners and a sense of humour.
*sigh* I'm being a worry wart... I'm trying to be there for my kids, but they're trying to push me away. I don't want to scare them off, but at the same time, I don't want them to think I don't care about them.
I'm trying.... trying hard to get through the 'teen' years...
1 comment so far...
I raised all girls the youngest being 16 yrs. now. The teenage years are the hardest-they and you both have to grow and change at the same time. Had the hardest time with my oldest when she was a teen- she wasn't a bad child- but I had to learn to grow with her. That was the hard part. And pick your battles-if it is something not important- maybe you can let it go- they will eventually stop rolling their eyes. But you want to stay open so they will come to you with any problems. They don't mean to hurt you and my not even realize that they are- unless you let them know.
You did nothing wrong- they are just trying to grow up and that usually means not being as close as we would like them to be for awhile.
My 16 yr. old feels like she doesn't need to be reminded of anything- but I don't always agree. But she is a good kid. Things will get better...find a common ground where you can spend time together and just have fun and keep your bond strong.
I too have rules that my children always knew they had to follow. And a worry wart also. Teens are fun
- but not always in a fun way for us. Hang in their- you sound like a good, loving parent that just wants the best for their children. Take care.
eileenb
Flag as inappropriate Posted by eileen b on 7th February 2009