Letter to My Heart
It is time that we have a serious talk because you are on the precipice of something bigger than I have ever experienced.
You have led me blindly into situations that have left battle wounds -- some are unrepairable, some have changed how you beat, some still fresh. Last year was not easy on you. Dreams became impossible to attain. Stress started to take its toll causing you to forget what it was like to beat for another. Sadness took over causing you to become closed off.
I have spent the past 6 months ignoring you and working on my head ... who am I, what happened, what can I do to get back to a place where I would be happy again. To awaken you would cause me too much pain remembering dreams that were no longer possible and that I no longer wanted. To leave you alone and dormant for the rest of my life didn't seem impossible ... just lonely.
Over the past month I have realized that I had wasted so much time searching for who I thought you needed -- the bad boy, the guy next door, the actor, the jock, the rock star -- when what you really need is a gentleman. A man who can provide us unconditional and reciprocal love, a balanced partnership, and (above all others) stability. A heart can only be healthy when it beats in a steady rhythm.
I have always been too shy to allow you to let your passion take over me. But I want to feel my body melt, my legs go weak and you skip a beat with a single kiss.
I want you to feel overwhelmed when you read words he has written just for you.
I want you to flutter at the sound of his voice waking us up with a whisper of "I love you" in my ear.
So, my long lost friend, I will make sure the next man who I allow to hold you will be a gentleman who will respect us, spoil us, love us, talk to us, cry with us, laugh with us, worry with us, understand us and simply LIVE every moment of every day with us.