The Estrogen Arsenal of Unnecessary Emotion....
Posted 20th February 2009 by L_Irene
So this past week I have found myself a puddle of tears for no apparent reason. Small matters, which normally can be seen with a logical and clear head, send me over the edge and into this tearful abyss that I like to call the Estrogen Arsenal's Sea of 'Woe Is Me.' Unnecessary and irrational emotional responses that make little or no sense, yet are oh so consuming....
Its just PMS, you say? Nooooooo. Normal PMS doesn't look like THIS. If its anything it's peri-menopause and its kicking my ass.
My poor Significant Other is trying so hard to figure out what's wrong and make me feel better. We have had discussion after discussion about it. And as he lives some distance away, he is feeling rather helpless and confused. And that makes me feel worse. Though I have tried to explain to him, as clearly as I can, that a woman's emotions.............aren't even understood by WOMEN. So his attempts to do so are a waste of productive energy. Just put your arms around me, mix me a drink and hand over the chocolate. I'll get through it.
We talk often and both of us have a tendency to be 'thinkers.' We have a running joke that when one is asked what they are thinking, or if everything is okay and a rote answer like "I'm Fine" or "Nothing," is given........we know the other is lying. And that is the key to delve a little deeper....
So he's delving, and I'm drowning, and both of us are confused.
I hate feeling out of balance and led by emotion. I know, logically, that this is all just irrational. None of these ridiculous thoughts or emotions should be dwelled on for too long, because they do not, in any way, reflect reality. I KNOW this. And yet these past few days I have found that more and more difficult to do. Greg and I have talked long about whether or not these emotions/issues need to be talked about. Why create issue where no real 'issue' exists? Just an overly emotional response to .............whatever. When there is awareness that illegitimate emotion is leading and logic and reason are lagging....shouldn't the logic and reason be the discussion, NOT the emotions?
The best I can figure, however, is that the events of these past months and the unnaturally large level of stress, no job, child issues, the autism disorder, switching schools, financial crisis, a control freak ex-husband, other 'major' life and family events (heart attack, car accidents, and the like), this dreary season, and an erratic peri-menopausal hormone system.........have all finally caught up to me.
And the weight of worry, which I have carried for all these months now, is causing me to crumble. A body can only hold it together so long, can only be so strong and be 'in control' for so long.........before it just becomes too much. And there is a breaking point.
3 comments so far...
Flag as inappropriate Posted by eileen b on 20th February 2009
Normally I can find my out of these ridiculous emotions within a matter of minutes or hours, but not this time. And that's okay. It's been a rough week, a lot of overwhelming events in very short order....so I am pretty much chalking it all up to overload.
My dear mother tells me this is my 'lesson in humility.' Whatever. Give me a D and call it a day. I want my delusion back. lol
Though my little sister did advise me that when all else fails......
a towel or lap blanket can double as a Superhero cape when necessary....
hmmmmmmmmmmm
Flag as inappropriate Posted by L_Irene on 20th February 2009
I understand how you feel and all of it is stressing and draining, and when it builds up too much we need to take a brake. Escape if only for alittle while.
I hope things get better for you.
Flag as inappropriate Posted by eileen b on 20th February 2009